The Steamy Lingerie Models who Saved Christmas!
I got nothing and I’m in big trouble.
My publisher gave me a hefty advance to write a feel-good new Christmas story for children, to take its place up there with “The Polar Express” and such-like.
I’m required to use the phrase “Steamy Lingerie Models” in the title because it seems research shows that dads do 80 percent of the holiday book shopping for their kids.
Who knew it would be this hard to write a heartwarming Christmas story about heroines with special powers?
All I have so far is a great closing line. A winged vixen is dragging the evil-doer away in handcuffs and she says, “I’ll see your chestnuts roasting on an open fire, scumbag!”
But just one memorable, sentimental line isn’t going to endear this tale to children forever…
I suddenly have lots more respect for Charles Dickens. Of course, I would have called his story “The Saucy Wench and the Three Gross Dead Guys,” but “A Christmas Carol” works, too.
Models present creations during the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York, November 19, 2009. REUTERS photos by Lucas Jackson