News, but not the serious kind
Ladies, welcome to our show! You’re in for quite a treat tonight!
Those of you who have seen our Chippendales Dancers perform in the past probably noticed they were great-looking guys, but were a little too thin and buff and muscular.
Many of you complained about this, so we went ahead and increased their meal rations to 4,000 calories a day, most of it deep-fried.
We also barred them from the gym and required 22 hours a day of sedentary couch time.
The result, we’re proud to unveil tonight, is the brand new “HECK, THAT MIGHT AS WELL BE MY HUSBAND CHIPPENDALES!”
Ladies, let’s give it up for the dudes of your dreams, Lonnie, Herb and Earl!
And remember, they’re available for bachelorette parties, too!
Top: Mongolian-born grand sumo champion Yokozuna Asashoryu (2nd R) and other sumo wrestlers leave after performing the traditional New Year’s rite at Meiji Shrine in Tokyo, January 6, 2010. REUTERS/Issei Kato
Right: Mongolian-born grand sumo champion Yokozuna Asashoryu, wearing a ceremonial belly band, performs a ring-entering ritual at Meiji Shrine in Tokyo January 6, 2010. REUTERS/Issei Kato
Left: Real Chippendales dancers