Crack me another walnut, honey pie!

January 19, 2010

Blog Guy, I have a fashion problem. Lots of times on a date a guy will offer me a walnut, but I never know how I’m supposed to crack it.

dumb shoes 260You came to the right place. Check out these designer shoes, made to meet all of a chick’s nutcracking needs. One good stomp, and you’ll be scarfing down tasty walnut bits for hours.

Plus they can do pecans, Brazil nuts, coconuts…

Awesome! My other problem is, I don’t know what to do with the walnut shells. Like if we’re in a hotel room it’s rude to just leave them on the floor, isn’t it?

HONGKONGOnce again, haute couture to the rescue. This dress which features a large upsweep receptacle for nut shells, olive pits, watermelon rinds, chicken bones…..

Chicken bones! Great! I NEVER know what to do with those! Thank you, Blog Guy! Is there any downside to this outfit?

Well, you do have to remember to empty it into a dumpster every few weeks. Cockroaches and rats tend to breed pretty fast in there. BTW, many hotels keep special rooms for guests who want to crack nuts.

Really? How do I get one of those when I check in?

You just ask for the Nutcracker Suite….

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Models present creations by Chinese designer Guo Pei at the Hong Kong Fashion Week for Fall/Winter 2010, January 18, 2010. REUTERS/Bobby Yip

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14 comments

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Well…. the height of the boot is perfect… I like the embroidery on it as well…. lose the heels and I would love them!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Shra: Why lose heels? You know its not proper normal fashion then!! :-P

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Those shoes are amazing! I wonder how much training is required to learn to walk in them? They’d be perfect for work.

:D

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

E, perfect for your work actually!!! You could trick your least favourite person into wearing them and then make them trip!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

fwd, well… I was being practical… but guess thats wrong of me.. isnt it..? In that case, perfect shoes… Wouldnt they be just great to walk in the snow with?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Well now…I think my boss might take it the wrong way if I asked him to try on a pair of heels! Somehow I don’t think that’s what he’s into.

:P

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

[...] from:  Crack me another walnut, honey pie! | Analysis & Opinion | Reuters Get 100$ easily on FaceBOOK!!!!!! View admin's Profile      Subscribe via [...]

The fashion industry answers the age old dilemma of portable “facilities”…

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

You know, we just don’t have enough ballet references here. Good job, BG!

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive

And I like the dangling crystals from the bowllike skirt thingy too… Infact… this dress is not really that bad… apart from the bowl skirt ofcourse..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Am I the only one who thinks the skirt is on upside down? Like, it might actually be ‘ok’ as haute-couture if only she wasn’t wearing it the wrong way around? It’s edgy, it’s eye-catching…the sort of thing you’d see on ANTM. Only…it’s on upside down.

??

E.

(PS. It also makes me crave a peanut butter cup for some weird reason. Why is that?)

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

I am just gonna re-visit the Detriot auto-show blog. The models were waaaay hotter there.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

[...] Go here to see the original:  Crack me another walnut, honey pie! | Analysis & Opinion | Reuters [...]

Being the burgeoning fashion designer I am -owing to Robert brilliant idea of yesterday’s post- I think you got it all wrong: the dress is actually a roll-cage to protect the wearer in case of tripping while wearing those shoes!

You know, you can never be too safe while testing heights!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Ha ha ha ha…roll cage… that’s hi-larious!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Oh. THAT’s how you’re meant to crack a walnut on a date…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive