That’s my tongue trailing 40 feet behind me?

January 26, 2010

Boy, am I pissed!

According to a Reuters story, some guy is going to step out of a capsule lifted 120,000 feet by a balloon and leap to Earth, becoming the first man to break the sound barrier without an aircraft.

Why the heck didn’t I think of that?

jumper combo 490

So now THIS guy gets to have the fun of plummeting so fast he won’t be able to hear himself scream, because his own shriek will just follow along behind him.

jumper statue 240This of course is just exactly the way the Good Lord meant for us to travel.

While the story estimates the trip down will take roughly 21 minutes, I gather it could be a lot briefer if something goes wrong with his parachute.

What is WRONG with people these days? Our story says this latest stunt is being sponsored by a beverage company.

I’ll tell you one thing. If I ever do something like this, the sponsors had better be a beverage company that makes 100-proof bourbon, along with an adult diaper maker, and they’d better have huge supplies of their products available for me throughout the event.

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Top left: Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner is seen after jumping from a transport plane above Dover at the start of his freefall across the English Channel between Dover and Calais, in 2003. REUTERS/Helmut Tucek

Top right: Baumgartner celebrates after his successful free fall across the Channel in 2003. REUTERS/Bernhard Spoettel

Right: Baumgartner, prepares to jump from the arm of the Christ the Redeemer statue on top of Corcovado mountain, overlooking Rio de Janeiro, in a 1999 photo. REUTERS photo

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Oh wait wait wait… I meant west side of the pond. Dammit I keep making a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

I make sure all the airplanes I fly come equiped with GPS in case you were gonna ask.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I hate it when I board a jet and overhear the pilot say “Oh, darn it! I can’t do anything right!” I also hate to hear my dentist or MD say “Oops!” I know what “oops” means.

A friend of mine watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail with his new wife. He loved it. She hated it. And afterwards, she hated him. That movie needs to come with a warning.

Shra, I know that look. Seen it! Seen it! It is an adorable look. I also admire the contemplative look with a corner of the lower lip lightly clenched between the teeth.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Hold on, Doc. We’ve been down this road before with Shra.

She’s a great person, but she has a serious tic involving her eyelids, she has some green stuff like mushy peas or whatever behind her ears, and now there is this lower lip problem seemingly due to a bad batch of Novocaine.

Honestly, as nice as she is, the woman has some very bad luck with her face.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

It works out well for me Doctor D. I flip on the GPS and say “I wanna go here!” The GPS in turns says “Ok, go this way!” Then I flip on the autopilot and say “I wanna go this way!” In turn the autopilot says “Right away sir!” And off I go.. second star to the right straight on ’till morning.

And no I did not leave out The Randy Shrubber intentionally. Randy the Shrubber puts “Randy” as being a pronoun. The Randy Shrubber puts “Randy” as an adjective. I was attmepting the euphemis while keeping the same word forms.

Perhaps I thought too much about it.

Shra, you must see it!! Funny funny stuff. Get back to me when you have done so then we shall discuss cuteness. :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Ifly, it worked out well. I appreciate you playing the straight-man role for me. I’ve been meaning to talk to Bob about that. Bob, when do I get a straight man to set up jokes for me? Oh crap! It just occurred to me that I’m Bob’s “straight man.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Who what where when and huh?

I think that one went over my head at an altitude I am not qualified to fly up to yet. :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Milton Berle played a great straight man on the muppets to set up Statler and Waldorf jokes. Here is a link: 4M

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Bob, if you keep saying such stuff about me, you will lose a commenter here…. (Very sensitive about my looks today… )

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, I thought about reporting this R. Basler guy as abusive, but I figured the Blog Guy would be on top of it.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Thanks for that, Doc… I shall have my revenge, soon… Blog Guy… I shall return!! (Disappears into the fog, after waving off her silvery cape..)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, thanks for bringing the conversation back to reasonably understandable words, phrases and contexts. All the euphemisms, allusions, and innuendo were making my brain boil.

In fact, it did… and I came up with three -THREE- big words today!!!!

Back to my meds!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

What words were they, M??? I am lost in the fog actually… Can anybody hear me????

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

We can hear you, Shra….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Then get me freaking out of here!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, big words for me, at least. You know, with the reduced mental capacity I’ve been given in this funny farm…

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Shra, Are you out of the fog yet? If you are, we might together push this post into the top 3 of the most commented ones and gradually kick out the gun nutters one!!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

I am still struggling here, M… mind handing me a torch? and Gun nutters… well, they can ride the Mr.Fake Bake’s bummy bum bum…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, torch, beacon light, rescue team all coming your way.

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

I am still waiting……

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Didn’t you get it? Let me call FedEx to see where the parcel is…

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

You sent me a parcel!!! Whatever happened to good old personal rescue!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Sorry, I got lost in the fog, so I called FedEx. They SAID they’d deliver anywhere!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Don’t believe it Shra; you cannot FedEx a rescue team.

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

I knew it Bill…. been rolling my eyes here forever…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive