How very proud his parents must be!
Well Mr. Johnson, we want to thank you for applying to be a U.S. Secret Service agent.
You seem to be just the sort of candidate we look for. Short hair, well-dressed, clean cut, nice smile.
I see you make good eye contact and you don’t blink a lot. We like that in an agent.
I’m also very impressed by the fact that you talk without moving your mouth – that’s great for keeping the president’s movements private and secure.
You might be happy to learn we have a great dental plan, in case you want to straighten those teeth a bit, but of course that’s up to you.
So welcome to the Agency! Here’s your gun. Now, could you just turn around for a minute so I can thread your earpiece through your collar, and we’ll take you in to meet the president…
A tattooed man poses for a picture at the Bangkok International Tattoo convention in Bangkok January 15, 2010. REUTERS/Sukree Sukplang