Five people I don’t want to meet…
Readers often say to me, “Bob, in your line of work you must meet lots of interesting people,” and I say to them, “No, not really.”
In fact, I tend to keep an up-to-date list of folks I DON’T want to meet, under any circumstances. It changes often, but right now these are the LAST five people on earth I want to see.
That guy on the upper left was at the Wing Bowl chicken wing eating competition in Philadelphia recently. He discovered that chicken wings travel in TWO directions, and his batch blew out the wrong way, if you catch my drift. It lost him the contest AND any chance of ever going out for junk food with me.
Of course you all recognize that next fellow, Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson. I’ve written about him but I don’t want to meet him, or have him stop by the house to use my bathroom.
Then we have Paris Hilton. No explanation required, I presume she’s on everybody’s list.
Faithful readers will recognize that other dude in the foursome, with his arm all the way up an elephant’s butt. I’m sure he’s a fine person, but I don’t see myself going to a backyard cookout where he’s made the hamburger patties.
Right now, the number one guy I don’t want to meet is this male model, over on the right.
I can’t believe you even have to ask.
Competitor Douglas Perok “Obi Wing”, rips his shirt after vomiting to lose at “Wingbowl 18″, the annual chicken wing eating contest in Philadelphia, February 5, 2010 REUTERS/Tim Shaffer
A swimmer dressed as a toilet waits to enter the waters of English Bay during the 90th annual Polar Bear Swim in Vancouver, British Columbia, January 1, 2010. REUTERS/Andy Clark
Dr Thomas Hildebrandt of Berlin’s Institute for Biology and Wildlife Research cleans the rectum of Jamilah, a 29-year-old female elephant, in Singapore, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Tim Chong
Paris Hilton in Dubai, June 17, 2009. REUTERS/Mosab Omar
A model presents a creation by British designer John Galliano as part of his Fall-Winter 2010/2011 men’s fashion show in Paris, January 22, 2010. REUTERS/Benoit Tessier