Five people I don’t want to meet…

February 10, 2010

Readers often say to me, “Bob, in your line of work you must meet lots of interesting people,” and I say to them, “No, not really.”

In fact, I tend to keep an up-to-date list of folks I DON’T want to meet, under any circumstances. It changes often, but right now these are the LAST five people on earth I want to see.

meet combo this 490

That guy on the upper left was at the Wing Bowl chicken wing eating competition in Philadelphia recently. He discovered that chicken wings travel in TWO directions, and his batch blew out the wrong way, if you catch my drift. It lost him the contest AND any chance of ever going out for junk food with me.

FASHION-FRANCE/Of course you all recognize that next fellow, Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson. I’ve written about him but I don’t want to meet him, or have him stop by the house to use my bathroom.

Then we have Paris Hilton. No explanation required, I presume she’s on everybody’s list.

Faithful readers will recognize that other dude in the foursome, with his arm all the way up an elephant’s butt. I’m sure he’s a fine person, but I don’t see myself going to a backyard cookout where he’s made the hamburger patties.

Right now, the number one guy I don’t want to meet is this male model, over on the right.

Why him?

I can’t believe you even have to ask.

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Competitor Douglas Perok “Obi Wing”, rips his shirt after vomiting to lose at “Wingbowl 18″, the annual chicken wing eating contest in Philadelphia, February 5, 2010  REUTERS/Tim Shaffer

A swimmer dressed as a toilet waits to enter the waters of English Bay during the 90th annual Polar Bear Swim in Vancouver, British Columbia, January 1, 2010. REUTERS/Andy Clark

Dr Thomas Hildebrandt of Berlin’s Institute for Biology and Wildlife Research cleans the rectum of Jamilah, a 29-year-old female elephant, in Singapore, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Tim Chong

Paris Hilton in Dubai, June 17, 2009. REUTERS/Mosab Omar

A model presents a creation by British designer John Galliano as part of his Fall-Winter 2010/2011 men’s fashion show in Paris, January 22, 2010.  REUTERS/Benoit Tessier


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The first guy looks like a vampire… and the last guy is exactly the kind of guy I dont want to see… Guess the fashion industry has gone to the “dogs”…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

The last guy’s room is next to mine. He’s actually quite handy around the ward, gives me his extra meds.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Baz, I bet you have that picture of Eugene ‘Toilethead’ Johnson hanging up in your office.

As for the last dude, the model (really?) should know that his face could freeze like that if he keeps it up!


Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

The bottom picture is depicting the new “Fall Caveman Road Warrior Hobo Serial Killer Outerwear” line….”

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

Who doesn’t want to meet Paris? You’ve always got a chance to appear with her in a tape… movie movie

*slaps wrist*

Posted by fwd79 | Report as abusive

Paris is such a twit, she can’t even do the Vulcan wave right.

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive

Sure fwd79.. “House of Wax” was a wonderful cinematic adventure and Paris Hilton played a pivital role, what with her having sex and getting killed and all.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Those Geico cavemen clean up well, don’t they?

Posted by kgolden1 | Report as abusive

“Those Geico cavemen clean up well, don’t they?”


Posted by comment | Report as abusive

Not a very “diverse” collection, if you get my drift.

Posted by Mega | Report as abusive

I’m ashamed to say this, but I’m kind of digging the last guy. Maybe I’m attracted to homeless, murderous, leather-clad dudes who need a shower and a shave.

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

that guy still gives me the heebie-jeebies!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Robert, you couldn’t have read my mind more if you had… wait, you , don’t you? I mean, you ARE part of the White Hat guys…

That’s it, this settles it: I am firmly back to my aluminum foil helmet and not taking it off until such a time as the whole plot is uncovered in the media… you know, the sun, the national enquirer… top-notch investigative journalism.

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Bob, we need to get a pic of M, in his aluminium helmet… who knows!!! A fashion designer could pick that up for their Winter collection!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

That last guy…maybe if he didn’t have that twisted look on his face, and combed his hair, he might be ok. But America’s Next Top Male Model he is not.

His nose looks…odd. Like the makeup artist forgot to put the foundation on his nose so now it’s a different colour. Which makes him look a little like Mr. Potatoe Head imho.



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

[…] Doug "Obi Wing" Petock makes appears in a listing of "Five people I don't want to meet" in a Reuters blog entry after being disqualified in the Wing Bowl. February 11, 2010 at 7:26 am by ojrifkin · More […]

Posted by Doug “Obi Wing” Petock makes Reuters blog list- | EatFeats | Report as abusive

E, I think I can find faults with his entire face!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You mean the aluminum hat isn’t in fashion yet? I’m pretty sure that most people in my ward are already wearing them day in and day out.
And really E, I think that his face is frozen like that.

Posted by IamNotSomebody | Report as abusive

You know how Tyra Banks is always on about ‘ugly pretty’? Yeah…this guy ain’t it. He needs to find some ‘pretty’!!

Poor fella.


Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

He looks plain evil…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

It occurs to me that photos four and five could actually be a ‘before and after’ of the same guy.
I’m just not certain in which order they are.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

We all know Satan is in Greece, so this could be his second-in-command, eh Shra?

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Yup… cccccccccompletely agree with you there!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

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Posted by Top 10 things about the blog in February « Read NEWS | Report as abusive