Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much…

February 15, 2010

BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, may I introduce a serious topic here please?

I wish you wouldn’t. This is supposed to be a humor blog, even if that isn’t always obvious.

BRITAIN/Thanks. I know you love animals. Our pet polar bear has been despondent lately. You know, moody, depressed. His penguin friends who come over seem the same way. Maybe it has to do with that global warming thing.

See, when I said I wish you wouldn’t, I meant….

Lately, we’re worried they might even hurt themselves. They seem THAT unhappy.

One animal health Website suggested leaving them alone in the house for a day with music playing loudly, to cheer them up.

So we programmed 12 hours of nonstop Barry Manilow CDs. When we returned, they had set fire to our stereo and broken out by hurling a sofa through the living room window. Now, we can’t find them. Can you help?

Um, maybe I can, but you’re going to have to act like you think there’s some humor in this. It IS kind of a rule here…

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Artist Vincent J.F. Huang’s installation artwork “Suicide Penguins”, a comment on global warming using glass penguins and a stuffed toy polar bear, hangs below the Millennium Bridge in London February 13, 2010.  REUTERS/Luke MacGregor

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34 comments

We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see http://blogs.reuters.com/fulldisclosure/2010/09/27/toward-a-more-thoughtful-conversation-on-stories/

I’m almost scared to comment. I predict a few trolls on this one.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Bench for me on this one…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, you can’t bench yourself every time there’s an item with no pictures of women’s shoes.

Posted by rbasler | Report as abusive

I will bench myself anytime I wish, Basler!! Really, you are becoming bossy!!

he he he… thanks Bob, cant thank you enough for being there for me to vent out mid-day Monday madness…

On that note.. get me a shoe blog, will ya Robbie?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

How much is the fur of a penguin? If they have any?…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

The “suicide” served as a warning to all who dared to provoke the anger of the Dogfather….

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

The Emperor has no clothes…

Posted by HaroldW | Report as abusive

Shhhh! Don’t tell him that.

Posted by IamNotSomebody | Report as abusive

I think the stereo on fire and the broken living room window are very minor inconveniences after putting two creatures, no matter what species they belong to, to 12 hrs of Manny!! I think we all should be grateful they didn’t go a rampage or a will shooting spree after that kind of abuse and torture.

Although I do have some difficulty in picturing a rampage by the penguin, but you never know what they can come up with next!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Barry Manilow…so bad that even toy animals hang themselves.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

This is so unrealistic. Everyone knows if you hang yourself, you soil yourself, and that white bear is clean as a whistle.

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive

And people blame Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne for causing suicides! Barry Manilow should be in prison for this!

Posted by kgolden1 | Report as abusive

Suicides, loose sphincters, high colonics, and — worst of all — Barry Manil ~gag~ Manilollllfffff…. I’m out!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

At least no baby seals were harmed!

Posted by phranky | Report as abusive

That photo is awesome in many ways. And I speak as someone who owns a knitted penguin/mr potatohead hybrid. Just one question; how did the bear meet the penguins ? I’m assuming it must’ve been at the zoo, given that they live so far apart ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

A very astute question, CrowGirl. It’s my understanding that they met in an Internet chat room for the bipolar, each of them totally misunderstanding the true theme of the site….

Posted by rbasler | Report as abusive

Sorry, Rob, Dan Hill, not Barry.

Posted by JamieXML | Report as abusive

I’m guessing it was a Galapagos penguin and they met while vacationing in Hawaii.

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive

My dad doesn’t believe in global warming. He wouldn’t find this blog amusing.

Posted by LMR | Report as abusive

LMR, many people I work with wouldn’t find this blog amusing… they listen regularly to Barry Manilow, as well, and out of their own accord, which goes some way in stating what I have to put up with…

THAT is why I am on my meds! Cheers!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

I know why they committed suicide….. but of course! They lived in London!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

CrowGirl….knitted penguin/mr. potatohead hybrid? This I gotta see! Post a pic on FB for me? Please? Pwetty pweeze?!

Baz…bipolar…that made me snort. Truly! I’m just lucky my boss isn’t at his desk!!

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

How can we assume it was suicide? Did they leave a note? I suspect some kind of penguin honour killing.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

LOL, Nurse!!
Hey, we got Nurse commenting!!!!
Meddie time is finally gonna be fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Hello Nurse!

Posted by IamNotSomebody | Report as abusive

Mr B – bonus points for the bipolar gag.
E – give me a couple of days, I can’t remember where the pic or the critter are.
Knit Nurse – Ha ha. I knew that link would draw you in. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

One for you, one for me, and I get to chose the more interesting ones, Shra. :)
Hello, IANS.
CG: penguins will do that every time, and I hope you didn’t leave the critter on your old desk.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Well, what do you know… now we have our very own nurse in this blog! Tim, Bill, CAM: our day/week/month has been made!

Welcome nurse!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

You know, originally the title was going to be “I Fly the Planes” but Bruce changed it to “I Write the Songs.”

FYI.

Posted by BarryManilow | Report as abusive

And we finally have Mr.Barry Manilow in our midst, ladies and gentlemen and Blog Guy…
Welcome to our OE blog, Barry….
Now, straight to the point… there are loads of people here who.. how shall I put this in kind words….. despise, abhor… even HATE you…
Why do you think they do that….
No, I dont particular remember hearing any of your songs though…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Have you never been on an elevator?

Posted by BarryManilow | Report as abusive

I have Barry…. and if the music that plays in elevators is yours, then that sure explains why I take the stairs always….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I love to sing in stairways! The acoustics are great.

“Ahem. Her name was Lola, she was a CrowGirl….no wait, ShowGirl..

Posted by BarryManilow | Report as abusive

I am beginning to understand the tendency of people to avoid you…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive