News, but not the serious kind
I think she wrote her own vows, too…
Blog Guy, I’m getting married next Saturday, and I could use some advice in choosing my bridal gown.
Sure. Congratulations on the happy event! In selecting your gown, you should think about what message you want to send to your gathered loved ones, because that’s what the perfect wedding dress does.
You know, something like “I’m so happy to be joining my beloved soul mate on this life journey…”
But put it in your own words, of course. What’s the message YOU want to send?
Ah. Okay, my own words would be something like, “Take a last look at this, Earl! It could have been yours, but you dumped me for that skankasaurus Janine, and now I’m stuck marrying this dumbass Lonnie here! No offense, Lonnie.”
My goodness. Is there anything else you want your dress to say?
Yeah. “Anyways, I’m gettin’ pretty drunked-up at the reception and I’m sure Lonnie will be passed out by nine, so you guys gimme a call and we’ll hit the clubs…
“And by the way, I’ve got this dark oozy thing on my cheek but don’t worry, I don’t think it’s contagious….” So, you think you can help me out, Blog Guy?
Yes. I believe I have the perfect wedding gown for you….
You’re the BESTEST, Blog Guy. Hey, you doing anything next Saturday?
A model presents a creation from the Pam Hogg 2010 Autumn/Winter collection during London Fashion Week February 22, 2010. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett