Oddly Enough Blog

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I think she wrote her own vows, too…

February 26, 2010

Blog Guy, I’m getting married next Saturday, and I could use some advice in choosing my bridal gown.

fashion bride face 240Sure. Congratulations on the happy event! In selecting your gown, you should think about what message you want to send to your gathered loved ones, because that’s what the perfect wedding dress does.

You know, something like “I’m so happy to be joining my beloved soul mate on this life journey…”

But put it in your own words, of course. What’s the message YOU want to send?

BRITAIN/Ah. Okay, my own words would be something like, “Take a last look at this, Earl! It could have been yours, but you dumped me for that skankasaurus Janine, and now I’m stuck marrying this dumbass Lonnie here! No offense, Lonnie.”

My goodness. Is there anything else you want your dress to say?

Yeah. “Anyways, I’m gettin’ pretty drunked-up at the reception and I’m sure Lonnie will be passed out by nine, so you guys gimme a call and we’ll hit the clubs…

“And by the way, I’ve got this dark oozy thing on my cheek but don’t worry, I don’t think it’s contagious….”¬† So, you think you can help me out, Blog Guy?

Yes. I believe I have the perfect wedding gown for you….

You’re the BESTEST, Blog Guy. Hey, you doing anything next Saturday?

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A model presents a creation from the Pam Hogg 2010 Autumn/Winter collection during London Fashion Week February 22, 2010. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett

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Comments

It keeps all the important bits and parts warm, at least…

Those are some SERIOUS eyebrows. Are those part of the collection too?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

Yeah dave, you can order those from grouchomarx.com

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

The best fashion always comes from Hoggs…

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive
 

I bet she looks pretty good from far away, if Lonnie (or anyone) can get far enough away….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

BG, you are so making me feel sorry for Lonnie. He can do better. Now, if she were marrying Jody, I would pay good money to see that.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

What were they thinking…. (shakes her head)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Without the big doily on her head and the bizarre cafe-curtain wings on her arms, the outfit wouln’t be so bad. Shame about the pilling over the breasts and, er, other, area. Someone get that woman a lint roller – stat!

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 
 

What are you, Bob, a moleist. Being a mut with moles, myself, I am greatly offended by your slur.

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive
 

And Victoria’s Secret bursts onto the wedding scene…

Posted by kgolden1 | Report as abusive
 

That’s an autumn/winter outfit?!?! She wouldn’t last long on my home planet, Neptune. Add an aluminum sock cap … that’s hot!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive
 

carpet and drapes?

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive
 

That thing on her cheek — is it a Hogg wart?

Posted by HaroldW | Report as abusive
 

Her eyebrows are going to give me nightmares. There is nothing I fear more than an overgrown eyebrow. Not really. But seriously. Her eyebrows.

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive
 

If those eyebrows were white, I would have thought they were part of the outfit!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

But the eyes ! Those are the eyes of someone who has looked in a mirror and is planning to track down the designer for a revenge of the kind that will at least add a splash of colour to the outfit. Or do I mean splatter ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

CrowGirl – wow, maybe it’s time for a meds adjustment?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

What, you don’t think stabby stabby is an appropriate response to being given a white fur codpiece to wear ?!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

I LOVE fashion shows..voohoo :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 

Basler!!! Some lovely shoes in there, i must say… :)
Fwd… really, how old are you again?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

I’m with Crowgirl on the eyes; definitely think there is a more than a hint of ‘abused but thinking about revenge’ there.

I’m impressed by the new improved censorship strips though, Mr B. The fuzzy look is a lot more subtle.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive
 

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