Mom and Dad, the Beautiful People?

March 11, 2010

parents combo 490

I should warn you, I’m kind of emotional today. See, I’m adopted, and I just got a report from a private detective who has tracked down my biological parents after all these years. You can imagine my feelings as I read it.

Hmmm. It says BOTH of my parents were models, which might explain my interest in fashion.

parents dad 240Mom was a runway model for designer Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson, and she “looked graceful in all kinds of plumbing supplies,” whatever that means.

Dad, it seems, “had a stylish flair, exuding a charm that had women swarming around him like roaches on a dead rat.” Wow, this detective has a way with words.

Oh no! Tragically, a month after I was born, Dad was caught smuggling a stolen sapphire bracelet through customs, in his mouth. What was he thinking?

He went to prison, and Mom, broken-hearted, gave me away. She went off to work in Eugene’s metal shop, making uncomfortable but trendy aluminum and copper clothing.

Now for the really tough part. The detective has included a photo of each of them. Trembling, I open the envelope to confront my gene pool for the first time. Well, at least they’ll be glamorous.

Like you’ve got anything better to do! Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Top left: A model presents a creation from the Katy Eary for MAN 2010 Autumn/Winter collection during London Fashion Week, February 24, 2010. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett

Top right: A model presents a creation by French designer Jean-Paul Gaultier as part of his Haute Couture Spring Summer 2010 fashion show in Paris, January 27, 2010. REUTERS/Benoit Tessier

More stuff from Oddly Enough


We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see

[…] Mom and Dad, the Beautiful People? | Analysis & Opinion | Reuters […]

Posted by Corey Haim Spent Final Months Caring for Mom with Cancer – People Magazine : World online news | Report as abusive

Yup… I knew she had a toilet seat around her face even before I read the blog….
Make she was dunked…. and used that experience to get where she got? Weirder things have happened…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Yo yo Green Acres in da hood!!! Represent gangsta on da farm keepin it reeeeaaaalllll!!

Check it, grill be blingin!!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Happy birthday, Pilot… Big plans?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Certainly not a pool I’d want to swim in.

Happy birthday ifly! Enjoy your day, eat ice cream for breakfast and treat yourself right!



PS> I’m adopted too. Honest! I am!

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Aww thanks guys for the birthday wishes. :)

I am treating myself to a paycheck today by working. No big plans today but this weekend is gonna be a party like it’s 1999!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Where’s the party this weekend?? Hey, hold on! I am gonna have a ball too… cant wait to get away from work! This job is eating me alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, dont you dare ask how!

Happy B’day Mr.Pilot (once again)!MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

LOL I liked the girl, looks like she likes it rough 😉

@Ifly: Many happy returns of the day, party wild :)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Lol thank you 69Spinster… I think a bachelor party would be more appropriate to wake up looking like that. And not remember why. :p

Thanks fwd079 and Shra! :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Happy Birthday Mr Pilot.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

And now we know where you get your inclincation to potty humor, Bob. You take after your mom – how sweet!

Posted by BethyB | Report as abusive

@ifly … go fly! That’s my perfect birthday wish to you! Treat yourself to a helicopter. :-)

Party like a rock star!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Yeah Beth, amazing, huh, that something like that can be inherited….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Thanks CrowGirl!

Thank you CAM.. I treated myself to a picture of a helicopter and drooled for a bit with desire. :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

PIlotGuy, happy belated birthday. I hope you had a ball!

Robert, I think it’s advisable for you to seek out better psychological advise: “Well, at least they’ll be glamorous.” Not!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Thanks M, missed ya for drinks!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Happy belated birthday, Ifly. And many more!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Thanks Dr. D.!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive