The mother of all wardrobe malfunctions?

March 12, 2010

fashion wardrobe combo 3 490

Class, welcome to Wardrobe Malfunctions 101, where we’ll see what can go wrong if you try to cut corners in the high end fashion design  process.

fashion wardrobe vertical 2 180We’re going through this stuff quickly, so please take notes and pay attention.

Lamar, are you aware that we ordered 50,000 of these dresses, and the red straps are two inches too short to attach to the fabric? So the chick has to hang on to the strap all evening, or else walk bent over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. No honey, don’t shake hands!

And this middle one, with the black eye patch, the walker and the underpants. Sure it’s attractive on her, but have you thought about your demographic?

I mean, you show me a customer who needs an eyepatch and a walker, and I’ll show you somebody I don’t want to see her underpants!

Okay, Paris Hilton’s gown. Did anybody run this one past legal? Four words: “I Dream of Jeannie.”

Cripes, who signed off on this raincoat on the right? Have you ever heard of  LINING a garment? Now we have to include a white bar like this with every one we sell!

And who designed this simple men’s white tunic? Nice lines, but it’s a PULLOVER, which means using sharpened metal collar stays was NOT a great plan. That’s gonna hurt coming off, too.

What else we got here? Did anybody TEST that new super-elastic space age fabric before we used it for evening gowns? They started trying to undress that model yesterday, and they’re still pulling!

Oh and finally… Please. Dozens of July 4th sparklers sticking out of her ears?

That may have been edgy I suppose, but having the burning part facing INWARD? Really? What time does the show start?

fashion wardrobe bottom 490

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Model presents a creation by Ukrainian designer Oksana Karavanska during Ukrainian Fashion Week in Kiev March 11, 2010.REUTERS/Konstantin Chernichkin

Model displays a creation by Spanish designer Andres Sarda during the Cibeles Madrid Fashion Week Fall/Winter 2010 show in Madrid February 22, 2010. REUTERS/Sergio Perez

Socialite Paris Hilton attends a news conference in Dubai, June 17, 2009. REUTERS/Mosab Omar

Model presents a creation by fashion designer Alexandra Moura as part of her Autumn/Winter 2010/11 women’s fashion collection during Lisbon Fashion Week, March 11, 2010. REUTERS/Jose Manuel Ribeiro

Model presents a creation as part of the Dsquared2 Fall/Winter 2010/11 Men’s collection during Milan Fashion Week, January 19, 2010. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

The hand of French designer Adeline Andre holds a length of fabric as she removes a dress from a model during her Haute-Couture Spring Summer 2010 fashion show in Paris, January 25, 2010. REUTERS/Charles Platiau

Model presents a creation by Indian designer Manish Arora as part of his Fall/Winter 2010/11 women’s collection show during Paris Fashion Week on March 4, 2010. REUTERS/Pascal Rossignol

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17 comments

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That’s my red belt! I was wondering where it got off to.

I think the woman in the bottom picture got caught up in the drapes.

Blue hair is sooo hot on aliens.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Where to begin…(Sigh)

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Boobies… now THAT’S the way to roll into the weekend! ;)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Fashion? ….. the jokers that “designed” this contrived trash must be laughing themselves silly at people who follow fashion …… and laughing even harder at how much people spend on it …….. where to begin indeed (sigh!)

Posted by JJWest | Report as abusive

Right, that’s it! From now on nobody get’s their designs photographed until they win a season of Project Runway first! I didn’t want it to happen but you drove me to it!

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

Boy, for somebody who’s just come skulking back to the blog you’re sure full of orders, Bandage….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Well boobies can’t pay the bills so there is a bit….

Oh wait, if used a certain way boobies CAN pay the bills! Wow, so there really isn’t anything boobies can’t do!

Ahh..boobies are awesome.

And the blue haired chick looks like a Sharper Image reject.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

As models go, top left lady is surprisingly broad shouldered…

I can’t decide if blue hair lady has broken fibre optics or unused welding rods.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I ate your dog!

Posted by seventy2below | Report as abusive

Curse you BG! Curse you and your white bars, and Lamar’s red belt. *skulking off with the blue-haired chick tucked tightly under one arm*

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

I bet their parents are so proud.

Posted by CAMson | Report as abusive

You know… of all the creations shown here…. I think Paris Hilton’s is the worst…… Paris Hilton cant justify wearing that thing….. Oopps… sorry, I used Paris and justify in the same sentence… My bad…. time for my morning dosage…. :P

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I love the one with white undies, she can’t escape anywhere…if you know what I mean ;-)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

This is the reason models get well payed…

I would ask a lot of money to wear that…

I much would you ask?

Cheers,
SimpleGuy

Anedotas, humor e piadas em http://www.kerorir.blogspot.com

Posted by SimpleGuy | Report as abusive

Hey! That green dress is OK, kinda. It’s the contents that are completely faulty.
As for the blue-haired model, great photography to capture the exact moment all her neurons escaped her body to find somewhere better to live.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Unca, I kind of agree with you on that green dress and Paris. I wonder if it could be possible for Paris to imitate Anne Boleyn all the way to her tragic end…

Sorry, dark thoughts!! PM dose time!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Thanks, teacher, I’ve got it all right I guess so just a question:
Where is the link to all these fashion shows??? :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive