Stuff we don’t need to experience in 3-D
Following the runaway success of “Avatar,” 3-D technology is taking over the world.
Back up. Before we all start having lasik eye surgery to give ourselves permanent 3-D vision, I’d like to say there are things that I for one do NOT wish to experience in a format that messes with my depth perception.
FONDUE PARTIES: “Hey Lamar, check out the meat on my skewer! Does that look done to you? Lamar? LAMAR?”
OKTOBERFEST: Oh please, look at the picture. Two dimensions are more than enough.
JOUSTING: I admit it’s only a slim chance, but I don’t want to find myself transported back to the 12th century wearing 3D glasses, while Sir Lancelot charges at me on a huge honking steed.
EXECUTION BY FIRING SQUAD: “Oh man, why did I opt for these goofy glasses instead of a blindfold! You guys look REALLY close! Hey, can you back up just a…”
ROOT CANALS: I do NOT want to sit in that chair and watch my dentist come at me with needles and drills in 3-D while I listen to that sound… Whirrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm….ZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!!! Whirrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm…. ZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! Do you?
President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama wear 3-D glasses in the family theater of the White House, in this handout photo taken in Washington, February 1, 2009 and later released by the White House. REUTERS/Pete Souza/The White House
Visitors wear 3D glasses as they watch a preview of “Avatar” during the 40th annual Comic Con Convention in San Diego July 23, 2009. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni
An actor dressed as a knight takes part in a re-enactment of a jousting tournament at Blenheim Palace, central England May 2, 2009. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh
Brazilian instructor aims his pistol in a 2005 file photo. REUTERS/Sergio Moraes
Women wearing traditional Bavarian Dirndl pose with beer during the opening ceremony for the Oktoberfest in Munich, September 19, 2009. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle
Dentist examines a patient in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Phil Noble