Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Stuff we don’t need to experience in 3-D

March 19, 2010

3d combo top 490

Following the runaway success of “Avatar,” 3-D technology is taking over the world.

Suddenly we’re reading about more 3-D movies3-D fashion shows, 3-D television, 3-D maps…

3d vertical 220Back up. Before we all start having lasik eye surgery to give ourselves permanent 3-D vision, I’d like to say there are things that I for one do NOT wish to experience in a format that messes with my depth perception.

FONDUE PARTIES: “Hey Lamar, check out the meat on my skewer! Does that look done to you? Lamar? LAMAR?”

OKTOBERFEST: Oh please, look at the picture. Two dimensions are more than enough.

JOUSTING: I admit it’s only a slim chance, but I don’t want to find myself transported back to the 12th century wearing 3D glasses, while Sir Lancelot charges at me on a huge honking steed.

EXECUTION BY FIRING SQUAD: “Oh man, why did I opt for these goofy glasses instead of a blindfold! You guys look REALLY close! Hey, can you back up just a…”

ROOT CANALS: I do NOT want to sit in that chair and watch my dentist come at me with needles and drills in 3-D while I listen to that sound… Whirrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm….ZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!!! Whirrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm…. ZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! Do you?

3d combo bottomr this 490

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President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama wear 3-D glasses in the family theater of the White House, in this handout photo taken in Washington, February 1, 2009 and later released by the White House. REUTERS/Pete Souza/The White House

Visitors wear 3D glasses as they watch a preview of “Avatar” during the 40th annual Comic Con Convention in San Diego July 23, 2009. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni

An actor dressed as a knight takes part in a re-enactment of a jousting tournament at Blenheim Palace, central England May 2, 2009. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh

Brazilian instructor aims his pistol in a 2005 file photo. REUTERS/Sergio Moraes

Women wearing traditional Bavarian Dirndl pose with beer during the opening ceremony for the Oktoberfest in Munich, September 19, 2009. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle

Dentist examines a patient in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Phil Noble

More stuff from Oddly Enough


3D root canal? There’s a horror movie in the making!!

I need a root canal but I can’t afford one. How sick is that? If I did get one, I’d definitely ask to be sedated.


Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

More sedated than usual, E?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Yesterday, I came into the office with two bags of instant oatmeal in my coat pocket. One of my assistants asked me if it was gun. “No,” I said, and showed her the oatmeal. Today, she asked me: “Is that oatmeal in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

On come on!! The jugs NEED to be experienced in 3D or DD… whatever you like :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Well Doc, if you’re a really, really old fart you can remember Quaker Puffed Wheat and Puffed Rice, advertised as “the food shot from guns.”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Happy Friday everybody!

Posted by Db8r | Report as abusive

That was before my time, Baz. Man, do I miss Oktoberfest. And Augsburg’s Volkfest, Der Plärrer, is such a great time! Memories. Oh, man!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Come on now Mr. B., you just wanted a reason to re-post the pic of the chick with the big boobies holding beer. Ya know ya did.

And I thank you for that. :)

Obama is watching the country go to ruins in 3-D!!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

C’mon Doc. A question and an answer. Another question but no answer.

Was that oatmeal in your pocket or were you happy to see her?

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

That’s a great tip Spinster, how much is a trip to Chihuahua? Is it cheaper than a root canal?

Baz, well yes more sedated than usual. I thought that was obvious.

DrDoll, I actually snorted out loud when I read your post. Luckily my boss is in a meeting!



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

What kinda foo don’t wanna see Ta-Ta’s in 3D?

Posted by GLK | Report as abusive

Personally I think that smellivision has far greater potential to offend…

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Is a 3D map not remarkably similar to, er, going outside ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

A foo Mister T pities GLK

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I would hope so CrowGirl or it wouldn’t make for a good map would it? :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

But, but… If you can just go outside, why do you need a 3D map ?! I used to draw wireline diagrams for a living and I STILL don’t really get the concept. How hard is it to grasp terrain from flat contours ?!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

In the interest of nipping any rumors in the bud, in my front trouser pockets were my (1) cell phone, (2) car keys, and (3) Federal Building ID.

I hope that’s settled, Billl, because when it comes to being happy to see my assistants, I keep the buds nipped.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Asked and answered. Thank you. How big is Federal Building ID?

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

Big enough to be confused with oatmeal. But not in my pocket were any appendages associated with various optional bodily functions.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I would love to experience 3d movie.. but only a like fairy tale animation.. not action movie.. I would just go out to see that.. streets are annoying enough!

Posted by Caglar | Report as abusive

Has it ever occurred to anyone that 3D glasses are way too big for your face… ok, my face…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

3D is highly overrated, when compared to 34D, for instance. No match. Not even close!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

“What’s with men and boobs?” Julia Roberts asks Hugh Grant in Notting Hill… (yes, I remember lines from romantic movies… another insight into my soul!)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Dr. D. why do you carry the ID of a Federal Building? Does the building get lost often?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Hmmm..Dr. D. has been pretty silent lately. Perhaps he is searching for the Federal Building. Damn thing must have learned to open the gate!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Puerto Rico? That’s an odd place to go searching for a Federal Building.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Come on! Which other place would have more federales… !!??

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Well, PilotGuy, you know how it is with these bloody things: you give them a little liberty and next thing you know they go off with the first cutie face that comes along…

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Good point M, it probably just ran off with a cute little Starbucks or something.

Unca I got my jetpack on the ready. Should we set up a search grid to sweep various sectors individually or team up and concentrate on known locations?

Rocketeers awwwwaaaayyyyy!!

I think I am building a tolerance to the medidonuts… might have to up the dosage.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Yeah… both of you… report to the Air Traffic Controller.. that’s me!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Uuuh OE tower, this is Rocketeer Romeo Charlie for a visual departure to the northeast, two thousand. Will be conducting search procedures, request flight following.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Rocketeer Romeo Charlie, this is OE tower. State your coordinates and flight plan and hold onto your pants..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Rocketeer Romeo Charlie is currently over the Blog of Bas, plan to search all known caves in the area.

If I hold onto my pants though I won’t be able to steer. Besides, the breeze feels good. :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Rocketeer Romeo Charlie, this is OE Tower. You need to slow down else you would be on a collision course with JetPacker Spiffing Unca. Reduce speed to whatever you think not nerve racking and wait till Jetpacker passes with a cloud of spiffing grey smoke… yes, I said grey… you can only hear not read… so, its grey!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Understood OE tower, Rocketeer Romeo Charlie is reducing speed. Be advised visibility is getting low, there is a lot of spliffy grayee greyness.. must be a front moving in.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Roger that, Romeo Charlie…
Jetpacker Spiffing Unca, push speed to what ever you think is drool spiffing… and follow cordinates… be advised, front moving in with lot of spliffy grayee greyness… correction, greyee greyness…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

when it comes to the OKTOBERFEST, 2D is never enough

Posted by SkimpyDog | Report as abusive

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