News, but not the serious kind
Toilet timer to eliminate waste?
Now and then an idea comes along that is so bad, it deserves a place in the Bad Idea Hall of Fame. Maybe you remember such brainstorms as the hotel bed-warming service, the “marriage hunting bra,” the plan to get civil servants to mingle with the public…
But I digress. From the UK comes news that workers in an office have been given a 10-minute limit in the toilet. A hidden sensor switches off the toilet light when their time is finished, even if they aren’t.
You guessed it, these so-called “workers” are calling the plan “undignified and unsafe.”
What a bunch of whiners. Why do they need lights at all in the bathrooms? I say just give ‘em a burning book of matches to find the stall, and a couple of sheets of glow-in-the-dark toilet paper.
A mere toilet timer may not be extreme enough. You know those mechanical bucking bronco rides they used to have at supermarkets? Can’t we incorporate that technology into the base of the toilet and set it to begin 10 minutes after somebody sits down?
Or what about a catapult in each bathroom, designed to fling live scorpions, rodents and jellyfish into the stalls?
I’ll tell you what, after a few days of that, you’d be surprised what you can accomplish in 10 minutes.
A Marine from the 3rd Battalion 6th Marines, uses a temporary built-up toilet in camp Sharwali, in Marjah district, Helmand Province, March 22, 2010. REUTERS/Asmaa Waguih
A swimmer dressed as a toilet waits to enter the waters of English Bay during the 90th annual Polar Bear Swim in Vancouver, British Columbia, January 1, 2010. REUTERS/Andy Clark