Oddly Enough Blog
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Monkey cops, when it’s a jungle out there!
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Okay boys, prepare yourselves for the new smash hit series of the fall TV season. This is the kind of high concept creativity that made network programming what it is today.
It’s about this small town that can’t afford to fund its police force, so a bunch of monkeys come out of the jungle and take over the cop duties. Is that brilliant, or what?
We’re calling it “Monkey See, Monkey Blue.”
Imagine the possibilities! Milk come out of my nose when I think of monkey cops driving patrol cars, shooting at bad guys, eating doughnuts all the time….
In the teaser a monkey cop handcuffs a robber, see, and then he takes out his Miranda card, we zoom in on his face, and he just grins and says, “Ooh ooh ooh eee eee eee aah aah aah…” Then BAM! Opening credits!
Of course the police commissioner is a human – we’re looking at Abe Vigoda – and the monkeys just drive him nuts, and he has to keep a big bunch of bananas on his desk, see, and…
What, Lamar? Yes, we did think of calling the series “Monk,” but Legal said there’s some sort of problem with that.
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Santisuk, a five-year-old pig-tailed macaque monkey, wears a police shirt as he rides atop a patrolling vehicle in Saiburi district in Yala province in southern Thailand April 1, 2010. The monkey, who was found injured and adopted by local policemen, goes dressed in uniform on patrol every day to help improve the force’s image and relations with the population. REUTERS photos, Damir Sagolj
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“Bad boys, bad boys,
“Wutcha gonna do,
“Wutcha gonna do when they fling poo on you?”
Well, I hope the monkeys have special jackets, otherwise how will anyone tell them apart from the regular police?
Sadly, I’d probably watch that show. If I had TV.
I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they discover he’s up to monkey business and remove him from office.
Hereabouts, we have successfully employed monkeys. The work-product of the monkeys far exceeds our expectations. Their grasp of the issues far exceeds their “human” predecessors; they are far more reliable; and their morals are clearly superior.
At first, we questioned: Will people vote for monkeys to represent them in government? The answer was a resounding “Yes.” Apparently, people hereabouts would rather vote for a monkey than a donkey or an elephant.
But this has not come without a cost. Our former “human” representatives, it seems, are incapable of doing ANYTHING productive, incapable of making any kind of contribution to society.
“Officer, is that a banana in your pocket, oh wait, you’re not wearing any pants.”
monkey improving image with Thai population? Who exactly lives in Thailand then??
Ok I give up trying to comment on this post.
Bill – genius !
Thanks you CrowGirl.
Or simply, thanks.
do they really take a bite out of crime ?
I am sure I posted a comment on this blog…. where is it???? Monkey got your banana BG?
I am gonna try this ONE more time..
“Bad boys bad boys,
“Wutcha gonna do.
“Wutcha gonna do when they fling poo on you?”
Duck?
I guess they don’t have an Edinburgh version of “Cops” over there do they Shra? :p
Nah…. havent seen any good looking cops either… They are so…. not humorous…
Ah Shra I gotcha. Well let me lend a little insight for ya. Here in the States there is a show called “Cops”. It’s one of those “reality” programs that follows various law enforment officers on their patrol assigments chasing down rednecks and all sorts of urban trash (of all races mind you, white-trash included, so no racism going on.) The theme song to the show is the one that goes
“Bad boys bad boys,
“Wutcha gonna do,
“Wutcha gonna do when they come for you?”
So I, being the clever, witty, and unquestionably hilarious person that I am, subsituted the line “Wutch gonna do when they come for you?” with “Wutch gonna do when they fling poo on you?” because of the police being monkeys. And monkeys fling poo. So monkey police would fling poo on the bad guys.
That little gem of humor took me FOUR attempts to get posted before Mr. B. finally allowed it.
I know that my humor is so vast that it is often on higher levels than most people understand but I gotta keep doin what I do so the world can be a better place!
Ahh, now that you mention it… we do get that show up here in Scotland! (What did you think I am a remote desolate part of the world like Dave!… Sorry Dave… just making a point)….
And Humour is a tricky emotion to digest…. some get it , some fling poo…
I am probably better off just flinging poo :p
Umm…. dont think that would be a job profile tho… hmmm…
That depends, if I were a politician or a very bad journalist then that’s pretty much exactly what my job profile would be.