Next, I’ll snap myself with a towel…

April 21, 2010

Blog Guy, your coverage of stupid sports has fallen off. Isn’t anybody out there competing in such stupid classics as Appliance Golf, Tear Gas Tennis and Pottybuilding?

Your timing is perfect. The International Self-Pranking Olympics are now underway in Germany. All those cruel, thoughtless practical jokes that dumbasses usually pull on other people, they do to themselves at these Olympics.

prank wedgie combo 490

For instance, here you can see the gold medal winner in the Self-Wedgie event. Boy, he really got himself good!

Gosh! What are some of the other self-pranking events?

You name it. If it’s cruel and boorish and immature, they’ve got it.

SPAINYesterday they held the Self-Noogies, the Self-Towel-Snap, and the Self-Tying-Your-Shoelaces-Together competitions.

Today we have the Hey, I Can’t Stretch Out! event, where competitors from every country short-sheet their own beds, then get in them and pretend to be surprised.

Let’s see, according to the schedule, tomorrow there’s Calling Yourself and Hanging Up, and the always popular Wearing Your Own “Kick Me” Sign.

All of this is leading up to the most difficult and dangerous competition, the One-Minute Self-Mooning. The dude who took the gold last year is still in the hospital.

This is amazing! This must be the world’s largest gathering of people looking ridiculous and being cruel at the same time, right?

Nah, you’re forgetting about bullfighting.

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Hoffenheim’s Timo Hildebrand reacts during the German Bundesliga first division soccer match against Borussia Dortmund in Dortmund April 18, 2010. REUTERS/Ina Fassbender

Shipyard workers from Spain’s Izar public shipbuilding company show their backsides during a protest over threatened job losses in Gijon, Spain June 6, 2006. REUTERS photo

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ah the braveheart… still a hit 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Let’s not forget the Wet Willy, Swirly, or Indian Rug burn!

Or the always popular Jumping Out of the Closet Dressed As A Knife Wielding Hockey Mask Wearing Maniac.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

It’s no use. You mark my words, both E. and Shra will have some kind of complaint about those pictures….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

What about shaving off you own eyebrow or, worse, your own pubic hair? Or any stupid fraternity stunts.

Posted by JohnZNYC | Report as abusive

Robert, I’m with you. The women on this blog tend to be highly demanding…

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

I dunno, Baz. If I were Shra or E, I’d say “I’ve seen better buns on a hamburger.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Oh sure, Doc, help feed the discontent…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

John, I don’t know about fraternity stunts, but, methinks, shaving one’s own public hair is less of a sport & more of an extreme form of contortion-ism; especially when attempted in 5 gallon bucket. 0.o

Posted by notanaddict | Report as abusive

What are the weirdest sports practical jokes I saw? Itching power in a jock comes to mind.

But how about this one: One football player spitting into the jock of another player who was getting his ankles taped. (They were brothers.) Very weird.

Or this one. After basketball practice, a towel snapping that got out of hand and ended up with one naked player chasing another naked player around the locker room with a bent coat hanger reaching for his C.O. Jones.

But the one that takes the bisquit, in my humble opinion, was the supergluing together of a HS freshman’s butt cheeks by two seniors.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I can’t believe I forgot about this. After a football practice in HS, the starting quarterback put on gloves and smeared his own crap on the windshield of a teammate, a wide receiver. Then, he left the gloves on the windshield. Oddly, the gloves looked like they still had hands in them. At the time, I thought it was hysterically funny. Now, I just think it is really, really odd.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Mr Footballer isn’t bad. Daft hairstyle, but nice to see a man with decent shoulders, there’s a deplorable lack of them around lately.

Also, what’s a noogie ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Hey Doc – got any stories about pranks your friend Bob pulled in high school? 😉

But my main question is – what is Timo Hildebrand reacting to to get THAT kind of reaction?

Posted by LMR | Report as abusive

Naaa, they are getting ready for the all famous 20 yard dash with your trousers around your ankles…..and TP stuck to the shoe relay will follow

Posted by ochoo | Report as abusive

[…] El Organismo Internacional de Auto-travesuras Juegos Olímpicos ya se han iniciado en Alemania. Todos los chistes crueles, irreflexiva prácticas que generalmente dumbasses tire de otras personas, lo hacen a sí mismos en estos Juegos Olímpicos. URL del artículo original 10/04/21/next-ill-snap-myself-with-a-tow el/ […]

Posted by Próxima, me voy a presión con una toalla … | Report as abusive

Sure and you couldn’t find us a footballer with his kit off eh Baz?


Speaking of feeding the discontent, I haven’t had a medi-doughnut in ages. Whose turn was it to bring them in today? I need sprinkles!



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Boys get their toys…. Girls left out… this is se*ist behaviour I say!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

CrowGirl, you have quite a good grasp of our culture for a foreign person.

By the way, I know you’ve done something to knit_nurse, and I have alerted the authorities.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

She was fine when she left my house this morning. Though living where I do I have no witnesses to prove it…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Oh I know that noogie shoogie… just didnt know it was that… I have been given a noogie, just because I allowed it… just that Once…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Sheesh, what is it with people making assumptions about my demise? It’s enough to make a girl paranoid.

I think we used to call what you refer to as a noogie as a monkey rub when we were kids.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Welcome back, Knit, and we didn’t single you out. We gave you the same treatment we’d give to anyone who has been known to associate with CrowGirl.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

You’re assuming I’m responsible for the disappearance of anyone I meet ? Harsh !

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Not at all. I meant it as a compliment.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Oh, fair enough then. Thanks.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Nice verbal escapology, Mr B.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

[…] Le Olimpiadi Self-Pranking internazionali sono attualmente in corso in Germania. Tutti quelli crudeli, battute sconsiderata pratica che di solito dumbasses tirare altre persone, che fanno a se stessi in queste Olimpiadi. URL articolo originale 10/04/21/next-ill-snap-myself-with-a-tow el/ […]

Posted by Prossimo, sarò io stesso a scatto con un asciugamano … | Report as abusive