News, but not the serious kind
Next, I’ll snap myself with a towel…
Your timing is perfect. The International Self-Pranking Olympics are now underway in Germany. All those cruel, thoughtless practical jokes that dumbasses usually pull on other people, they do to themselves at these Olympics.
For instance, here you can see the gold medal winner in the Self-Wedgie event. Boy, he really got himself good!
Gosh! What are some of the other self-pranking events?
You name it. If it’s cruel and boorish and immature, they’ve got it.
Yesterday they held the Self-Noogies, the Self-Towel-Snap, and the Self-Tying-Your-Shoelaces-Together competitions.
Today we have the Hey, I Can’t Stretch Out! event, where competitors from every country short-sheet their own beds, then get in them and pretend to be surprised.
Let’s see, according to the schedule, tomorrow there’s Calling Yourself and Hanging Up, and the always popular Wearing Your Own “Kick Me” Sign.
All of this is leading up to the most difficult and dangerous competition, the One-Minute Self-Mooning. The dude who took the gold last year is still in the hospital.
This is amazing! This must be the world’s largest gathering of people looking ridiculous and being cruel at the same time, right?
Nah, you’re forgetting about bullfighting.
Hoffenheim’s Timo Hildebrand reacts during the German Bundesliga first division soccer match against Borussia Dortmund in Dortmund April 18, 2010. REUTERS/Ina Fassbender
Shipyard workers from Spain’s Izar public shipbuilding company show their backsides during a protest over threatened job losses in Gijon, Spain June 6, 2006. REUTERS photo