Two, four, six, eight, who do we impersonate?

April 21, 2010

Blog Guy, the pope just visited a place called Malta, and now I have to do a school report on the place. What is Malta known for?

Not much, these days. Its heyday was the 1960s, when the Ford Motor Company manufactured a popular car model there.

latoya malta 490

Really? I didn’t know that!

You’ve never heard of the Maltese Falcon? What the hell do they teach you kids today, anyway?

So, is it famous for anything now apart from papal visits?

Yes. Malta boasts the world’s worst Michael Jackson impersonators. This only became evident recently, when La Toya Jackson visited to promote a hand cream and was confronted at every turn by folks claiming to be impersonating her dead brother.

MALTA/And what’s the capital of Malta?


You mean like the cheese product?

Uh, yeah. Valletta, just like Velveeta….

Hey Blog Guy, I think you just made up one of these so-called facts!

Busted. Which one?

Who would go to Malta to promote hand cream?

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Top: U.S. singer La Toya Jackson, sister of the late Michael Jackson, walks past a young Michael Jackson impersonator as she visits Valletta, April 14, 2010.  She is in Malta to promote a hand cream and to collect a lifetime achievement award on behalf of her brother from Italian label Stefano Cecchi Records.

Right: La Toya Jackson is greeted by a Maltese Michael Jackson impersonator, April 14, 2010.

REUTERS photos by Darrin Zammit Lupi

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I trust her hands are more enticing than the rest of her. Otherwise, the promoters of the hand creme are in for a very poor return on their promotion investment!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Maltese Falcon … I had one of those. Darn thing flew off one day. I shouldn’t have left the keys in it.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

[…] See more here: Two, four, six, eight, who do we impersonate? | Analysis & Opinion | […]

Posted by Two, four, six, eight, who do we impersonate? | Analysis & Opinion | « Malta hot news and trends | Report as abusive

So Michael turns white and Laytoya, by the looks of it, turns hispanic. Wow, that is quite a diverse family!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Ifly: Couldn’t agree more LOL 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

A friend of mine in high school (Bob) had an old, beaten up fire-engine red Falcon. (Its emergency brakes were rigged up with rope.) As far as I know, Bob used that Falcon as all Falcons should have been used.

On icy nights, Bob would take his Falcon out to shopping centers, accelerate, and slide on the ice and hit shopping carts with the rear quarter panels. My understanding is (becasue I would never have participated in any such activities, you understand) is that the shopping carts would spin around on one wheel like tops. I suppose one had to be drunk to appreciate this. (Again, this is just my understanding based upon what I was told.)

I learned other important things from Bob in high school. For example, I learned that if you are going to throw trash on your basketball coaches front yard, you should not use your own trash!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I knew an Elvis impersonator once. He was quite good actually.


Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

You forgot to mention another famous product from the island — hot wheat cereal. But at least some of us in the States remember Malta meal.

Posted by HaroldW | Report as abusive

Doc, you could have told that same anecdote but inserted the name Lamar….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

His name really was Bob. (Robert for short.) After high school, Bob went into the military and just disappeared after that. No one back home seems to know where he is now. (This is absolutely true.)

There were rumors that he had been spotted in Washington DC and that he was writing some kind of a blog….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

This “Bob” guy sounds pretty badass! Kinda guy I wouldn’t mind cracking open a cold one and causing some havoc around town with. Too bad he is MIA.

I do have to say though, ATC around the Washington FRZ are a bit friendly than the guys working the NY Bravo. For the most part. I was a bit hesitant flying around the D.C. area for the first time, making sure to stay as far away from the restricted area as I could lest I get some F-16 escorts, but they were pretty accomodating in working me in as close as possible to shave off some flight time. So kudos to the guys working the screens in the D.C. area.

I tell that little story knowing most people aren’t going to care. I am good with that.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Bob was a lot of fun. In speech class in HS, we had to give a “how to” speech. He brought in a dead muskrat, and his demonstration was how to skin out a muskrat to sell the pelt. No kidding. (We went to a high school surrounded by cornfields, if that’s any explanation.) But that was entirely Bob’s sense of humor.

Bob, wherever you are, I hope the fates have been kind to you.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Did I leave out that Bob was the School District Superintendent’s son? He was. True story.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I know a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator. He doesn’t get any respect, though.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Velveeta cheese looks nasty. I’m glad it hasn’t crossed the ocean.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@ifly … I care, I’m on the DC-3 list!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

@justCAM… after taking the required certification by the FAA for any pilot that will be traveling within 60nm of the FRZ (last year) I took an oath to myself that I would go nowhere near it unless I was being paid to and had a dispatcher doing my flight planning. To call it complicated airspace to me is an understatement. I had to go near it however on a trip to Virginia to visit family. I planned to stay at least 20nm from the outer ring but like I said, ATC was pretty cool and since I had GPS let me skim the edges.

If you are on the DC-3 list and fly around the airspace then I applaud you. With my luck I could flight plan for a month, call every security agency known to man to let them know I am coming, and still end up getting shot down cause I missed some little detail.

Sadly though I have not flown since August of last year cause my funds are pathetically low. I am trying to find a better job so I can start saving to fly again. Stupid economy. :(

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@ifly … I feel your pain, been in the exact same hole myself. Lucky to have crawled back up a rung or two on the old ladder. We need to commiserate over some doughnuts one day. In the mean time, we’ll keep on enjoying BG’s posts. :-)

Flying around DC’s not a problem, I just turn on the radar jammers in the flying saucer. Hey Bob! That reminds me. We need more alien model pics!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Gentlemen, may I remind it is strictly forbidden to teach or learn anything on this blog? Unless you are only making up the gibberish and TLAs you write, I am afraid you are hovering very close to being zapped half to death by Shra.

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

How come the guys get what they want, and the ladies have to drive themselves hoarse to be heard…. I’m disappointed….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Boy, did I call this one right, or what? Shra and E, I gave you exactly what you asked for. But are you grateful? No.

Regarding the guys getting what they want, may I remind you that they complain about those little white rectangles and stuff, so really NOBODY is actually happy with this blog, and it’s amazing anyone ever comes back.

In fact, were it not for the medicated doughnuts, nobody would come back.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by rbasler: Two, four, six, eight, who do we impersonate? 10/04/21/two-four-six-eight-who-do-we-im personate/…

Posted by uberVU – social comments | Report as abusive

Sorry M, I’ll zap myself … AARRRGGH!!! (sizzle)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

@justCAM, I will most certainly take you up on your commiseration offer of medidonuts. And when I start flying again I am going to have to get my hands on the radar scrambler.. and perhaps some turbo-boosters for my saucer, just in case I do have to out run an air-to-air missle. :)

@justM, we are not teaching anyone anyting unless they are interested to know, and since we already know about it we are not learning. It’s the loophole in the system and we are exploiting the bejesus outta of. lol

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

It’s like that song Baz..about the cat who came back the very next day.

I dunno. I’m starting to get suspicious. Like maybe you put something in the blog to get us addicted.

Am I right? Huh? Am I?

Hmm…I’ll have to come back tomorrow and find out.



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive