The little bear who was too cute to be real

April 22, 2010

Okay zoo staffers, I’m sick to death of all the other zoos in the world getting famous from really adorable animal babies. Polar bears and elephants and such-like. And don’t even get me STARTED on the pandas!

RUSSIA/All we ever come up with are butt-ugly animals who make the school children cry and run away in horror.

Since we can’t grow our own cuddly cub to cash in on, we’ve done it the old-fashioned way. We made a phony one.

Staff, meet Bobby the Bear! Come on in, Bobby.

Have you ever SEEN anything that cute? The Disney folks custom-made it for a short person – are we still allowed to say short person? Then they form-fitted it on him and micro-stitched it so there are no zippers or seams.

Anyhow, he’s our gold mine. Bobby, stand up and take a bow! Look coy, Bobby!

RUSSIA/Now bend slightly, smile, and wave to the press.

See, the media is eating it up. I’m tellingΒ  you, Bobby is gonna blow those pandas right out of the water.

Every kid who comes here is going to stamp their feet and scream until they get a $49.99 life-size Bobby Bear to take home.

Roll over, Bobby! Eat some ofΒ  our expensive concession stand crapola so the kids will want it, too!

Huh? What’s that, Bobby? How do you go to the bathroom in an outfit with no zippers?

Um, Lamar, see if you can get me that Disney phone number. Hurry, Lamar!

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A three-month old bear cub plays during a media session outside its cage at the zoo in Russia’s southern city of Stavropol, April 21, 2010. The cub does not have a name yet. REUTERS/Eduard Korniyenko

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More pressing than a cute bear cub? You don’t know very much about journalism, do you?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

The first picture looks like the bear is miming what he is gonna do to all those people when he grows up.

“I am gonna hold your head down with this paw, then this paw is gonna make thousands of julian fries from your face!”

Not so cute now huh?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Once there was a fuzzy wuzzy bear…

Great, now I’ve got the kids song playing in my fuzzy wuzzy head.



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

@ifly … LOL! *those people* meaning the paparazzi, of course.

Lamar … be careful who you’re photographing. Some of them may bite back!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

@69 … I see the doughnuts are working. If the bear was also wearing a white hat, then I’d be suspicious.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

So, I was like “Yeah, I think it is a fake bear. It looks like they posed it so people can come over and take photos. Besides, bears don’t really smile, do they?” Wow that is one really really cute bear. Bet it would make a beautiful rug!

Posted by JohnZNYC | Report as abusive

@justCAM… I would think a full grown bear would have the privilege of filleting anyone it damn well pleased. lol

@69spinster… wutsa Jimmy Choo?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Reminds me of a strange song they always used to sing in my parents’ church when I was a kid: “WILLIE THE CROSS-EYED BEAR.” Very strange song.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Oooh then it has to be a shoe of some type then.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

That’s a bear that’s practising looking cute to get people within reach of the claws. Go get ’em bear !

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Cute bear.

Bet it didn’t die coming out though and then come back to life like the baby elephant at Melbourne Zoo did.

Posted by LMR | Report as abusive

Hey LMR! Congrats on going with that cheeseball defence. How did that work out for you?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@69Spinster… thanks for posting the links but I hope you don’t think I am gonna know what the hell I am looking at, other than the Jimmy Choo models having ridiculously skinny legs that don’t even warrent a thigh highs thought from me. :p

And no worries on the getting zapped thing. I am sure education on shoe-ware is perfectly ok with she who wields the zapper.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

It was … cheesy.

Posted by LMR | Report as abusive

Spinster, you are my new best friend!!! Oh, I cant tell you how happy I am right now… having seen Jimmy Choo and the rest of the Trinity!

Though I cant afford any of them, think I’ll set up a fund to save for a Jimmy Choo… every girl needs to have one of those heels.. arent they simply gorgeous!!!!

My Pilot, I dont have any thingh highs, knee highs good enough for ya? πŸ˜‰

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Sweetest bear.. :)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Shra, would it kill you to know that I work with a girl who has a stunning pair of Jimmy Choos?

I’m not a shoe person (I own like…4 pair of shoes) but even I have to admit the shoes are drool inducing.



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Shra, knee highs are a start. πŸ˜‰

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

[…] Abbiamo provato per anni, e tutti che stiamo preparando sono animali brutti testa a testa che fanno i ragazzi delle scuole piangere e scappare in orrore. . . URL articolo originale 10/04/22/the-little-bear-who-was-too-cut e-to-be-real/ […]

Posted by Il piccolo orso che era troppo carina per essere vera | Report as abusive

Well that certainly is mighty kind of you! :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

“The little bear who was too cute to have a name.”

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

E, I am jealous now…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I just had to go through those links again…(Thanks Spin)… some off them are typically designer-ish… but there are some… esp from Louboutin… that are gorgeouuuuuuuuuus!… a 12 inch Stilleto which would kill me if I attempted to walk in it… but needless to say, so darn se*y! And yes, it was red… πŸ˜‰

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Ok, I am going to say it……

You would not have to worry about doing much walking Shra. πŸ˜‰

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

And why is that, Mr.Pilot? πŸ˜›

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Get a room you two!!



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Shra, an alternative explanation would be if you tried to walk more than two steps with 12″ stilletos you’d probably find yourself in crutches and casts very quick, and hence the little walking.

PLease, oh please, just don’t zap me for that. I am only being realistic.

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

M… you very nicely brought me back to earth…. so, zappppp!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive