News, but not the serious kind
Naked Noon in Saskatoon?
It is dusk in the cabin. The door opens and a brawny lumberjack enters the bedroom, tossing his mighty ax in the corner.
He gazes at a sultry young woman in the bed. She is clad only in flannel pajamas, woolen mittens and a hat with fur earflaps pulled down.
Pouting sensuously, she slowly drizzles a can of pure maple syrup down her front….
Oh baby, get ready for Canadian porn!
It turns out, Canada has dropped its modest fig leaf – or I guess maple leaf – and its first pay TV pornography channel will air soon.
It must use at least 20 percent homegrown Canadian content, thus opening the door for movies such as “Sarah, the Mountie Who Always Gets Her Man,” and “Naked Noon in Saskatoon.”
It’s really cold up there, so we can expect actors saying,“Yes! Yes! Oh yes!” through chattering teeth, puffs of breath coming out of their mouth.
The woman flings the empty syrup bottle to the floor, seductively removes a mitten, and demands, “Take me now, Aiden! You can finish your poutine later, eh?”
Top: Canadian-born actress Pamela Anderson poses with a person dressed as a seal as part of PETA’s protest of the Canadian seal hunt in a 2009 file photo. REUTERS/Mark Blinch
Bottom: Jerome Beaulieu drains maple syrup at the Chemin du Roy maple grove in St-Augustin, Quebec, in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Mathieu Belanger