And you call yourself the Man of Steel?

May 7, 2010

Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my neighbor’s proctologist?

superman 300Sure, because that’s what I’m here for, to settle stupid bets.

Thanks, that’s what I thought. What would happen if Superman flew into the earth at 4,000 miles per hour?

What do you think would happen?

Well, I say he would go all the way through and come out on the other side, but the doctor says he would knock the earth out of its orbit and destroy every living thing, instead.

First, I’m very sorry I used the word stupid. Obviously this is a question of great importance to you and this proctologist, so we went right to the source.

We agreed to give the Man of Steel $148 and two cartons of cigarettes if he would try it and let us take photos.

Hey, that’s awesome, Blog Guy! So which one of us was right?

Um, it turns out there was a third possibility that nobody considered.

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A man walks past a Superman sculpture by Marcus Wittmers entitled “Even Heroes have Bad Days” that is part of the “Heroes, Freaks and Superrabbis” exhibition at the Jewish Museum in Berlin, May 6, 2010. REUTERS/Thomas Peter

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29 comments

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Are we sure that the red stuff isn’t just lava bubbling up from the depths in anticipation of Superman’s violation of the Earth’s crust?
Sort of like all those bad, but somehow still quite funny, Chuck Norris ‘facts’…

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

And here was me thinking that Superman was a newspaper reporter, and all the while it turns out he was a Greek stock trader.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

Seriously, the last person I want to introduce my neighbor to is my proctologist – let alone having my neighbor making friendly wagers with said doctor. How exactly does that conversation go anyway?

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

My proctologist is an a**hole. ;-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good proctologist, so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little. Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it’s a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts playing!
“. . . On the road again, just can’t wait to get on the road again…”. The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the M.A. and drags the poor guy back to the table. “Look!” he says, and pulls the cork out again, “. . . On the road again . . .”

The M.A. is totally unimpressed…”So what?” he says.

“Isn’t that the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?”, the guy asked.

“Are you kidding?” says the M.A. “Any a55hole can sing country music!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

“Relieve that pounding headache, join the Oddly Enough blog network!”

Spider-man is the greatest super-hero ever. I am not entertaining any arguments on the matter.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

For those of you like country music — you know who you are — I hope you don’t mind that my previous entry makes country music performers the butt of a joke.

My proctologist has the most amazing stories. He once told me about the time he pulled a floral arrangement out of a patient’s behind. “Where did it come from?” I asked. “How do I know,” replied. “There wasn’t any card.”

Despite that, my proctologist regrets his decision to become one. He started at the bottom of his profession, and he’s still there!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

hmmm …

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Thanks for making me laugh. It’s just what the DoctorDoll ordered!

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

I just dont know what to say… so, am resting my self out on this one… Bench, anyone?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@zietgeist, nice one!! *chuckle* *chuckle*

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Move over Shra! I got home made fairy cakes (with extra extra sprinkles) for those on the bench.

:D

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

I love ya, E… :)
I really do…. :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Aww shucks!

Say I think I’m free this Saturday after all, I’ll message ya and we’ll sort something out. I do want to meet you and also introduce you to Etcetera! He’s feeling much better now that his ear infection is clearing up.

:D

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Ifly, you’re only saying that about spiderman ‘cos you don’t have Batfink in the US.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

E, that would be just fab!!!! Send me your number and we’ll meet up!!! Cant wait to meet!! Oh, and can I have chocolate mousse? You pwomised!!!! Pwetty please!!!! :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Chocolate mousse?

Oh. I forgot about that. Huh…actually it turns out I have something to do Saturday after all. Yeah. Uh…it’s really…um…important.

Yeah.

:P

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Aww well… :(

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Nah, it’s ok. I can buy some easily enough. :P Can’t wait to see you Saturday!

Mind the ash cloud doesn’t scupper your plans though!!

:D

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Jeez. I have huge misgivings about two OE commenters actually meeting up. This could recreate the Big Bang or something.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Ooooh maybe it’s the start of the Apocalypse!

Who want’s to buy a ticket?! Plenty of front row seats still available!

:D

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

CrowGirl, if by Batfink you mean the dude who dreses up in a kevlar batsuit and runs around claiming to be a dark knight we do indeed have him over here.

I think his condition is from an extreme overdose to medidonuts though. It can happen.

E, who needs a ticket for a seat when you are part of the process. ;)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

You’re starting the Apocalypse too ifly?

How are you getting around Pythagoras hippcractic migration of promethium? I was thinking of using the Waterloo principle of angular momentum (as opposed to the Mornington)

You?

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

E, have you been at the “Sorry I haven’t a clue” tapes ?

Ifly, I think you’re referring to Batman. Batfink was a kid’s cartoon character. “Your bullets cannot harm me; my wings are like a shield of steel!”

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

My mistake then CrowGirl. It would seem as if we do not have Batfink over here.

Although you did send over Banana-man. He was a likable fellow.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Hey!!! No store-bought mousse! Ok, how about secret restaurant then? :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Well E, I figured I would just start blowing stuff up and see how that went.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

ifly, I guess that’s one way to go. I prefer the more subtle approach. That way, no one can trace it back to me. :P

Shra, that’s an idea…I’ll think about it ;)

CrowGirl…the what tapes? :?

Unca, You truly are a man after my own heart. :D

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

No worries E, I will make sure all traces are blowed up right good. :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

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