“Hurt Locker” soccer?

May 24, 2010

BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I don’t know how I’m going to get through all this World Cup stuff. I’m already so bored by soccer. How about you?

Which kind are you talking about?

beckham 2 260There are different kinds of soccer?

Sure. There’s regular soccer, and then there’s that new Extreme Soccer, like they play in war zones and places like that.

I don’t think they have that here in the United States.

Yes they do, it’s called Second Amendment Soccer. You just have to know where to find the games.

Look, here’s an exhibition game in Afghanistan, featuring soccer legend David Beckham.

Do they use a soccer ball?

Yeah, but by the end of the game there’s nothing left of it, what with the machine guns, hand grenades, tear gas, land mines…

No way!

soccer beckham 3 260Way. Look here, Beckham is really enjoying himself.

But that’s certain death! I mean, he can just shoot the other players?

Yeah, but in fairness, for most of the game he’s blind-folded.

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Top: Britain’s soccer player David Beckham (R) is seen being shown a mounted Heavy Machine Gun on an Army Lynx helicopter by Lance Corporal Chandler during a visit to Camp Bastion, in Afghanistan, in this May 22, 2010 handout photograph. REUTERS/Corporal Barry Lloyd RLC/MOD/Crown Copyright/Handout

Middle: Beckham (C) is seen cocking a Heavy Machine Gun during his visit. REUTERS/Squadron Leader Neville Clayton/MOD/Crown Copyright/Handout

Bottom: Beckham is seen being shown some of the weapon systems used by front line troops during his visit. REUTERS/Squadron Leader Neville Clayton/MOD/Crown Copyright/Handout

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61 comments

We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see http://blogs.reuters.com/fulldisclosure/2010/09/27/toward-a-more-thoughtful-conversation-on-stories/

After a recent “heated” argument with wife, Posh, David Beckham was seen enthusiastically checking out the hardware at a nearby pawn shop. Beckham was overheard asking “So…how much cash would it take to skip the background check?” after which, he winked twice…

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

Gosh, BG, thanks!!!! Whatever they say, this is one hot guy… and he really looks fab with that gun… droooooool!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Er..guns are ok (helicopters better) but Beckham really just doesn’t do it for me. Huh. Go figure.

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Cripes. How about Harrison Ford?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

“Bust a cap in they arse, join the Oddly Enough blog network!”

If you will notice by the red cap on said heavy machine gun, they did not trust Mr. “Pretty Boy” Beckham with the real thing.

Instead they bought a Fisher Price brand “My First Heavy Machine Gun” playset.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Harrison Ford? It depends on which era. May I hazard a guess then as to what your next post is going to be about?

ifly, great observation!

:D

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Sorry Ifly – that’s just a dust cover. Keeps what we call “moon dust” from fouling the barrel. Not something you want to have happen on a Ma-deuce.

No Spinster, I’m not that dude. I actually live here…

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Shra & Spinster are playing gawker soccer, but ifly is playing mocker soccer.

Posted by HaroldW | Report as abusive

True enough Dave, although it’s more fun to think that really is a toy and “I kick balls for a living” Beckham is pulling the trigger while making gun noises.

And I just want to point out to everyone.. well mostly the ladies… that in the second pic, the one where “I get to doink Posh Spice all I want” Beckham is sitting on his bummy bum bum cocking that bad boy (tee hee)
that right there is a moment captured in time of a man giggling like a school-girl.

So now you know.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Ifly – that’s funny.

If it was a MK-19, I could see giggling. M-2 should just make a man chuckle.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Say Dave, since you seem to have easy access to all that stuff, you think you could borrow some of it for the next OE blog readers’ party we have?

Or heck, maybe we could just have it in Afghanistan. Everybody, we’re meeting on Sunday morning at the Khyber Pass….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I just noticed two things:

Thing A: The first picture is of the two lads sitting in a helicopter. Can’t you show us a wider angle shot Baz?

Thing B: The Lance Corporal there is staring at Becks like he wants to kiss him. (Eyes on lips…yes?) That’s kinda hot.

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Sorry E, that’s really pretty much the full shot. I didn’t take it. You may want to move on to the eye candy in the poutine item. Did I mention the poutine-eating championship was held in a helicopter?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Yes Spinster, I was thinking about using some tomorrow, but if you can’t wait, here you go… http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 08/05/18/indiana-jones-and-the-veggie-of -doom/

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I was just thinking last night that both American baseball and the Indy 500 would lots more interesting if the participants had weapons.

Basebrawl?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Ifly, why would anyone want Posh Spice ?!

Hey Doc, missed your puns. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@Spinster, as they say where I come from, I have been busier than a one-armed paperhanger with the hives.

It is very hard. She actually has four minor children. But friends have really stepped up and are being very supportive. She will be okay on my watch.

Thanks, CG. I miss them, too. Can I still write puns on this blog? As Darci said in a different thread, this is a “newspaper respectable and serious.”

Oh, with Darci the heck say I. I will on the blog odd and serious not puns write, eh!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

BG – finally a sensible suggestion. Instead of the Khyber, let’s meet in downtown Kandahar. It’s a real party town.

Remember ladies, no skin is allowed to show, don’t drive, and make sure the only color you have on is dusty blue. Gentlemen, beards and turbans are required.

We’ll have a grand time!!

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Okay Dave, I’ll defer to your expertise. I personally have only been as far as Jalalabad in Afghanistan, and it wasn’t as much fun as I had hoped.

However, if we decide to do it on the Pakistan side of the Pass, I highly recommend a little town called Darra Adam Khel – I’m sure you’re familiar with it. If we do it there, you won’t need to bring any firearms with you.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Hey Doc, good to hear that… Missed ya.. :)
Dave, I am thinking periwinkle blue… is that acceptable?
Mr.Pilot, are you jealous? :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

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@Doc..hey, good to see ya back my friend! :)

@Shra..might I be jealous of what?

@CrowGirl…well I am not a Posh Spice guy myself actually. I much prefer Baby Spice. ;)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Although shot-bending like him is clearly a reason to be envious of Becks, clearly his posh wife is FAR from being one source of envy, so I’m with you Shra and CG on this.

Dave, I have a problem with this party of ours being held next to your cave: my beard grows rather sparsely, and by now mostly white… I am not sure I would make a credible local!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Dave, I already have the facial hair thing going.. but um… I kinda don’t think I would like not having the women showing any skin.

Oh how I do like it so when the women show some skin. ;)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

M, I too have the color change going in my hair and beard. I’m turning from a blond into a PLATINUM BLOND!Blonds have more fun, ya know. ;)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Ofcourse you do, Mr.Pilot! There has to be a reason why BG likes posting those Vic-Sec Models…
Though I am not complaining.. I am liking Beckham… and girls, that first pic is hot… didnt think i would appreciate a pic of 2 guys kissing (didnt in the Cannes blog), but seeing where you are leading my imagination, doesnt look that bad… ;)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, welcome to the club :D I’ve been a member for…hmmm…well over 10 years now. :P It’s a fuuuun club!

;)

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

“Vic-Sec” models? Kinda sounds like some special forces unit of the CIA or FBI or something. Perhaps the Women in Black.

Actually that doesn’t sound to bad. Miranda Kerr dressed up in a nice short black suit-skirt setup. Sunglasses making her look all incognito. Of course thigh-highs.

Ah yes… very nice……….

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Bomb it like Beckham :D :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

BG – not sure I’ve been in DAK, but if it’s between Peshawar and Torkham, I’m not going without some major back-up.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

[...] rest is here:  “Hurt Locker” soccer? | Analysis & Opinion | Soldiers hurt in wind accident | San Francisco ExaminerRangers News: Anisimov hurt? – [...]

@Dave…well given my inexperience with anything firearm-ish they pretty much all make me giggle. :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Mr.Pilot, Dont you play paintball?.. believe me, that is a GUN!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You two are a handful, Shra and Egeria! :)
I, like Ifly, am a fan of women and skin, but I was recently accused of having a man-crush on another footballer. Not Becks, but Fernando Torres. Just my opinion!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

@Shra…no, in legal terms what we use to play paintball are not guns, they are markers. Paintball markers. I can not expand on that without fear of being zapped and since I have already had my morning coffee I don’t need the extra buzz.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

LOL… ofcourse we are a handful,JB… :D
Add Spin and LMR to the mix and we are unstoppable!
Girl Power!!!!
Maybe we could make a separate branch of CIA and be top secret agents…
Umm… lovely daydream…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Oh Jeez, this is just what the world needs.

I’m pretty sure Shra and E. both kill people for a living already. CrowGirl can attack the enemy with her trained herd, Knit_Nurse can kill a man 62 ways with a knitting needle,

Spin can ride to the rescue on her special bicycle, and they can all go rescue LMR from Mt. Isa.

Hollywood, what are you waiting for?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Robert, you didn’t mention Spinster will, if really challenged, throw at you the entire University of Wisconsin Alumni Association. How’s that for a creepy prospect?

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

I omitted mentioning CG and KN for they are our ULTRA-secret agents…no one knows the powers they possess!!!!
He ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I could tell you about our secret powers but then of course I’d have to kill you.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Hmmm…this is getting interesting.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Ooooohh! I can actually picture ourselves on a movie poster… we need to discuss costumes, girls!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

It’s your business, ladies, but you may want to wait before signing E. onto the project. What if she has a big hole where her front tooth used to be?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Then that would simply mean another place to conceal a tiny but potent weapon…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I feel I ought to tidy my weaponry and trophies before Knit_Nurse moves in. But I suspect if I see them all in the same place at the same time it will worry me. It’s a good job Knit_Nurse knows I’m the shy, quiet and harmless type…

If E has no tooth we’ll just change her superhero name and costume slightly, it’ll be fine.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I can’t wait for the first episode of the trilogy and the assorted marketing paraphernalia, complete with McDonald’s Happy meal toys and the whole kit and cabboodle!!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Note the missing tooth: http://www.toledowalleye.com/

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Spin, it isnt beyond out power…. its just that we want to make sure that the elected people have SOMETHING to do…
We are made for far greater things… far far away….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Frogs? We got ‘em. http://toledobullfrogs.com/

Note again, the missing tooth in one of the photos. This is becoming a theme hereabouts. Muddy, the mascot of the Toledo MudHens, would no doubt have a missing tooth, too, if scrappy muddy swamp birds had teeth.

When I was in the 5th grade, I sort of liked a girl, who sort of liked me, too. She would put black gum over one of her front teeth to make it look like she was missing a tooth. She was adorable. Jan, wherever you are, I hope you have all of your teeth!

When I was in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, I noticed many missing two front teeth, and beer bellies, and crossed eyes, and thin wispy comb-overs. And if you think that was bad, you should have seen the men!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@Spinster…sure thing, the world is indeed safe so long as the OE ladies are out there kicking bummy bum bum.

I do want an autographed movie poster though. And the Mt. Isa action playset.

Ya know, for collectors value. :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Could we postpone world domination until next week though ladies? I’m a little tired from playing with chainsaws this week.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Oh oh…and if you need any extras for the movie keep me in mind! I have always wanted to be cast as “Befuddled guy #4″!

And just like Charlie’s Angels have Bosley… you have your very own Basler!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Thigh high boots… definitely…
eye masks… definitely….
whips… definitely…
cloaks… umm… lemme think… maybe… CG would look good with one…
ooohh and motorbikes…. a sleek black one.. that has my name written all over it…. in dazzling red… ;)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Exactly Spin.. no catsuits.. I am not anorexic…
I cant remember tat movie where Charlize Theron played a futuristic assassin…
She had good clothes… umm.. suit…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, I think you’re thinking of the movie “Monster.” Yeah, she looked great.
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm332242176/tt 0340855

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Hope you ladies don’t mind… Imma just listen in on this conversation here. Interested to see what you come up with.

Liking the thigh-high boots idea.

Just sayin. ;)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Basler.. dont be such a duuuuuuude “Dumb and Dumber style” … I was referring to
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0402022/

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Crowgirl already owns an awesome cloak. We’d have to have them custom made though. Shra and I wouldn’t be able to walk in cloaks that long.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

I know Nurse.. thats why I aint wearing one.. :P
Moreover, they seem cumbersome to me.. esp when I am riding my lovely se*y bike… ;)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

We had cloak rooms too, unca. I assumed that it was just a phrase though as none of us actually wore cloaks to school.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

CrowGirl does have an awesome cloak, kindly donated by an ex. Also custom made, because let’s face it a cloak that fit Shra and KN would be about knee length on me. :/

The posh school near me wore cloaks. And hats. I guess they made use of their cloak rooms.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Unca, I’m amazed you think so highly of me! Unfortunately this lady is now down one tooth. Luckily it’s in the back where nobody can see it!

As for my costume, I already have one. It’s similar to the kind Electra wears. Only in black and it’s a little more skimpy. Might need a cloak for those cold nights though.

Talking about cloak rooms makes me think back to Little House on the Prairie. Ahh I loved that show!

:)

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

I shall consider that point your made. The world is a safer and more stylish place with the advent of the OSU!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive