News, but not the serious kind
Unveiling the Rube Tube
Okay marketing staff, times are hard. People aren’t buying enough of our regular fashions, so we have to invent NEW articles of clothing and create a demand.
Now have a look at this brand-new thing here, for guys.
It’s like the opposite of a tube top. It covers your abdomen, but shows off your chest. It’s like a shirt, only different.
Uh, Boss, why would any guy wear a piece of garbage like this?
That’s a fair question, Lamar. This particular model is wearing it for the money.
But Boss, we can’t pay everybody to wear it. We’d lose our shirts, so to speak.
You don’t get it, Lamar. Our customers will be middle-aged guys going to the beach.
They want to cover up their grotesque guts, but they don’t have quite as much flab on their chest, so they want to show that off. You know, to impress the babes.
What are we calling that orange color, Boss?
Crapricot! It’s descriptive, yet manly….
I like it, Boss. What’s next?
Lamar, now let me show you our brand-new beach necessity for unattractive women, the Skank Top…
A model presents a creation from British Colony’s 2010/2011 summer collection during the Fashion Rio Show in Rio de Janeiro, May 31, 2010. REUTERS/Bruno Domingos