Unveiling the Rube Tube

June 4, 2010

Okay marketing staff, times are hard. People aren’t buying enough of our regular fashions, so we have to invent NEW articles of clothing and create a demand.

BRAZIL/Now have a look at this brand-new thing here, for guys.

It’s like the opposite of a tube top. It covers your abdomen, but shows off your chest. It’s like a shirt, only different.

Uh, Boss, why would any guy wear a piece of garbage like this?

That’s a fair question, Lamar. This particular model is wearing it for the money.

But Boss, we can’t pay everybody to wear it. We’d lose our shirts, so to speak.

You don’t get it, Lamar. Our customers will be middle-aged guys going to the beach.

They want to cover up their grotesque guts, but they don’t have quite as much flab on their chest, so they want to show that off. You know, to impress the babes.

What are we calling that orange color, Boss?

Crapricot! It’s descriptive, yet manly….

I like it, Boss. What’s next?

Lamar, now let me show you our brand-new beach necessity for unattractive women, the Skank Top…

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A model presents a creation from British Colony’s 2010/2011 summer collection during the Fashion Rio Show in Rio de Janeiro, May 31, 2010. REUTERS/Bruno Domingos

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Wow Baz, you are really going down the tubes. Color puns?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

“Always were proper eye protection when attempting to join the Oddly Enough blog network!”

I saw the slide show for this a few days ago. I was wondering when you were going to get around to it Mr. B. given your affinity for “fashion” shows.

So the ladies don’t get Mr. Fab Abs, rather they get Mr. Perfect Pecs.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Subtly ugly; wonder if you snapped it against his chest if he would lose the smirk. If not, it is off to the Wax Museum!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

OMG its a man!

I was about to report RB :D :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Perfect pecs? Hardly. And what’s wrong with his neck? Looks like he tried to hang himself before the show…oh wait, I can see why. Sheesh!

It’s 5.13pm. I clock out at 5.30. It’s been 5.13 for at least an hour now. Slowest. Evening. Ever.

Maybe it’s because it’s a long weekend?

Somebody get me out of here please!!!


Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

I feel your pain E… Been in here since 8 and there is no sign of me leaving yet….
And its bright and sunny outside…. and I walk through this lovely park each day…. something makes me want to just lie down on the grass with a book.. and ofcourse a donut…
Ahhh…. blisss…. ::::::::::sighhhhhhhhhh:::::

Ok, enough day dreaming… back to work.. :(

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive


Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

Earlier, I shared my experience on a motorcycle, when a helmet with a bubble saved my life.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Unca, no worries my friend. Yes indeedly-doo in NY it is law for all riders of scooties to wear a helmet. I will be in full compliance with that law and not ride my bike unless I have a bucket firmly strapped to my noggin. And not only because it is the law but because how could I deny the ladies this hunk of man meat by being irresponsible? That’s a risk I, and the ladies, are not willing to take. :)

E, I apologize for lack of judgement on the pecs of that model. Understand I generally do not make it a habit of checking out and evaluating other dudes so my standards are most assuredly not in line with that of what females expect. Not that there is anything wrong with a dude checking out another dude. It’s just my membership to the “I Love Women” fanclub is for a lifetime and I have already paid the dues to join. :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Looks like an inmate in the fashion jail. He just needs to add a stick with a spike on the end and a trash bag, and he’ll be ready to beautify the side of the highway.

Posted by Logrus | Report as abusive

Judging from his tan line; he usually wears that top much higher…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Um…. not really eye candy, ja?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Gentlemen: glad you are wearing helmets and extra glad yours was on, doc. ifly, watch out for people turning left in front of you. Baz, just don’t take to driving your vehicles in the Potomac on a regular basis. Folks will think you’ve found a quicker route than the beltway and will start driving in behind you. That will really get the Coast Guard ticked off.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Doc, it’s things like that that make me fully aware of all things regarding safety. Trust me, it’s the first thing on my mind.

Onedoor, as someone I was talking to at work metioned to me… as a motorcycle rider you have to pretty much drive all the other cars around you too.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

What man would ever wear that outfit? I mean, that color is hideous!

Would’a liked to see what you consider to be a Skank Top. I see them at the local discount chain mart every time I go there. (And, I don’t wear tank tops, skank or otherwise!)

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

Well, there’s a reason why they call that color Crapricot.
I may revisit the Skank Top complete with pix next time.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

As one who is (admittedly) quite vain about his pecs, if I were the model, I would lower those huge sunglasses down to hide my “chest” and wrap the rube top around my head so no one could identify me from this photo.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Tell me more of these skank tops ? Or post pics of Doc’s pecs ? Or, preferably, both. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Well, Bob, should I send in pec pix?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I think we’ll go ahead and pass on that for the time being, Doc.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Well, pop my balloon!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Unca, now I have an image of my DI with “manboobs.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

“Well, pop my balloon!”

Was that a euphemism ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Metaphor, CG, not a euphemism.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive


Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I first heard someone say this when I was a teaching assistant working on my doctoral degree. One of my former students asked me out to dinner. When I said I thought that wouldn’t be popular with my wife, my former student said “Well, prick my balloon!” Never saw her again. Euphemism? Or just metaphor?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I am sure your wife is still very proud of you, Doc…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive