Got two heads? Come to headquarters!

June 6, 2010

Blog Guy, somebody told me about a very special school in Shenyang, over there in China. It sounds so bizarre I don’t even want to repeat it here. Do you know what I’m talking about?

acrobats 490

Yes, you’re talking about the Shenyang Qianjin school, which admits only children with two or more heads. Their motto is, “Two heads are better than one.”

That’s it! So it really exists?

heads vertical 220Of course. Most of the pupils have two heads, but this photo shows the headmaster working with a rare three-headed girl.

Three-heads! What kind of future does she have?

Probably a very bright one. If she chooses acting she can do the “The Three Musketeers” or “The Three Faces of Eve” all by herself. If she’d rather go into government she can be her own triumvirate.

But what if she’s interested in sports?

Gosh, she could load the bases at a baseball game, or be an entire starting row at the Indy 500.

I guess that’s true. This is just incredible. I’d love to visit the school in person. Please let me know if you ever hear of an open house there.

Sure, I’ll give you a heads-up.

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Students train at the Shenyang Qianjin Acrobatic School in Shenyang, Liaoning province, June 1, 2010. Students aged 6 to 12 years from all over China receive training at the school for about 6 to 8 years before they are ready to perform on stage. REUTERS/Sheng Li

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19 comments

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Somehow, I never felt kids gymnastics a good sport.

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

The poor little chap on the bottom looks like she’s falled asleep, bless.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Gah! Am so glad this wasn’t posted early in the morning before I went out. Even with coffee it is bit heady.

CrowGirl, I share the too early mornings. Alas, it may well be in my genes.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

BG, I’m impressed you posted this so early. What with the poolside time and being lazy and all, I figured you for…

…more of a hedonist. Back to the iced coffee to see if the brain will eventually run more normally.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Thanks Onedoor, but a) there isn’t really a pool and b) I’m nothing like a hedonist. My family calls me “Mr. Fun,” and they’re nearly as sarcastic as I am.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I know China is overpopulated and all, and I know the Chinese are really inventive, but this takes the bisquit. Leave it to the inventers of gunpowder to come up with a way to stack children — like firewood.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Oooh, sarcasm fun!

Fill your tub for a personal pool. A little delusion goes a long way.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

She’s once, twice, three times a lady.

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

Bob, I’m thinking about writing some child-raising books based upon this ingenious child-stacking method. Some working titles:

“Your Stackable Child”
“You Left Your Stack — and That’s Bad!”
“Your Father Left Because You Wouldn’t Stay Stacked — and That’s Bad!”

Please let me know your thoughts.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

In some headier circles this may be viewed as child abuse.

Posted by onequartlow | Report as abusive

Good idea, Doc. It could even be a TV series. Maybe we can get that guy who starred in the old “Untouchables” series…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I imagine this might not make it through the filters of respectability, but Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle says that “watching gymnastics is just peadophilia for cowards”. You can see his point.

Also, none of those kids look like they’re having any fun at all.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Bob, I think I’ve settled on “You’re Stacked and You’re Just Like Everyone Else — and That’s Good!” Gots to be positive, you know.

They are stcking these children for behavior reasons, right? Certainly, they wouldn’t be stacking them just for entertainment purposes.

CG, they do sort of look like they think they’re stacked up to use a guillotine in the most efficient way posible.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Doc, my brain is busy chamting “You’re stacked, and you know you are, you’re stacked….”

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Mea culpa, CG. I intentionally chose “you’re stacked” for the sex appeal.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

“Start with 20 minutes of cardio then you are ready join the Oddly Enough blog network!”

The girl is not asleep, they just haven’t noticed yet that her spine snapped.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

This approach seems a bit heady to me

Posted by creigh | Report as abusive

They’re actually in training to become politicians, who of course always have their head either up their own, err, bottom, or someone else’s.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

The girlat the bottom is like the common man… she is being loaded and she just doesnt care anymore….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive