Protect the first lady, Herb!

June 7, 2010

OBAMA/

Blog Guy, tell me some inside Washington stuff. What if extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service? What’s the contingency plan?

USA-OBAMA/I don’t think I should make that public.

Come on, just between us. Nobody reads this blog in the summer, anyway. I bet the plan involves jet packs and hidden trap doors….

No, that stuff was all written out of the budget. Now the whole plan is camouflage.

Camouflage?

Yes. The Obamas have been trained to hide behind trees and shrubs in the event of an attack, and they even carry bundles of foliage when they cross an open area, as you can see Michelle Obama doing here.

She sure doesn’t look very happy about it.

She’s the first lady of the United States and she has to walk everywhere with dirty bundles of herbs. Would YOU be happy?

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First lady Michelle Obama holds dill while harvesting vegetables in the White House garden with school children in Washington, June 4, 2010. REUTERS/Larry Downing

U.S. President-elect Barack Obama and his daughter Malia shop for a Christmas tree in Chicago, December 14, 2008. REUTERS/John Gress

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54 comments

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They could get Mr. Potato Head to patrol the fence: he is sure to call for assistance in thyme.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Sage advice, Onedoor.

Posted by HaroldW | Report as abusive

Thought for sure ifly would be cumin in with a comment like “Join the Oddly Enough Blog to Stay up to the Mint”.
Yeah, you will be peppered with puns BG, though no a-salt intended.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

“What’s the contingency plan for boredom? Joining the Oddly Enough blog network!”

What we need is a cultivation of new ideas. Every day politicians shovel mindless drivel down our throats without getting to the root of anything. We need to stem the tides of ineptitute and turn over a new leaf. We must weed out the source of our frustrations. Only then can we begin to plant the seeds for future generations to prosper. We don’t need a miracle to grow beyond our limitations. I just knock on wood we can overcome.

And is it just me or is Mrs. Obama looking hot in that pic?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

You are mistaken, Mr. B (And to my knowledge, for the first time.) An avid supporter of amateur theatre, the first lady was recently persuaded to appear in Macbeth. Depicted here is Birnham Wood marching on Dunsinane. (Note spear, left.)

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

ifly, I am in awe of your fertile mind.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Well sure, Lala, that’s what I meant to say…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

ooh yeah.. :D :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Thank you Onedoor, I just think it is only just we bear the fruits of our labor. Add a “u” there is you are reppin the east si-eeed of the pond.

fwd.. I can so picture you busting through a wall like the Kool-Aid dude going “ooh yeah”. Or maybe Macho Man Randy Savage…

Slim-Jim anyone?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I find the look on Michelle Obama’s face intersting. If there were a bubble over her head, I think it would read: “I’m the first frickin’ lady, and I’m out here pulling frickin’ fennel, and I don’t even like fennel!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I blame myself for this…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I’m with Doc on this one, I reckon that’s fennel rather than dill.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Credit where credit is due, BG. You’ve kept eveyone as happy as a donut today.

CG and Doc, count me in. Watch out for the man in the grey fennel suit…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Ooooh, One, that’s the pun I was unsuccessfully searching for. Is the WH chef going to make fennel dressing? If she uses it to decorate horses, is it fennel dressage?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Dill doesn’t form bulbs. Whoever wrote the blurbs doesn’t know his herbs. Perhaps, the blurber should introduce himself to animals and work up to herbs. A seal intro, perhaps? Maybe work in a camel mill? Go to a zoo and enlighten a base eel?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Doc, your comments are as tangy as lemon a balm to my achy brain.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Unca – euro holiday I think. Hope the euro folk are having fun! Shra may be shoe hunting.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Blog guy, to be honest … I blame you too.

Posted by LMR | Report as abusive

It may be premature to comment on this, but regarding Shra, I believe she’s in jail.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Only on remand though. I think it’s going to be a long and complicated trial. Imagine the difficulty of trying to find a jury of Shra’s peers.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

@Ifly: eh eh no comments :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Is Shra gone? Or E gone? Oh? Did she nip the cat? Or the cat nip her?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Super Blog Guy to the rescue! Can you picture it? Spinster organinzing the logistics; fwd and unca distracting the crowds and guards with kool aid and jerky, lightly laced with sprinkes; CrowGirl and E break in and run to the waiting sports car where BG whisks them away to the airport; ifly piloting the plane to safe (if eccentric) haven in the US; doc and nurse waiting with medi donuts to calm everyone. Oh the possibilities! OMG, the early morning walks are getting to me. Or maybe it is the blog. Coffee, must find coffee…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Well fwd… Shra has been trying her hand at cooking lately, and E was going to attempt to hug her cat…you don’t think that maybe they both met with tragic results?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Regarding Shra, I have it from an unreliable source that she is on contract with BP and is heading for the gulf. Apparently they heard about her ‘death-ray’ stare and figure they will be able to seal the oil leak once and for all – presuming they don’t destroy the entire planet in the process.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

Relax, it was a public holiday where E lives, in Latvia or someplace like that. She’ll be back and commenting today…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Ifly: hahaha you sure have some good intentions :D :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

So that’s why my ears were burning this morning! Y’all have been talking about me behind my back! Or…in front of my back…or…whatever.

Onedoor, I love the way you think. Let’s organise it and film it and sell tickets. We’ll retire rich!!

Thanks all for your concern. I hugged my cat, yes I did and it was two days before I came out of the coma. I totally missed out on our three day weekend!!

Oh and Baz…why are you always posting things that make me crave food from home? Now it’s my mom’s homemade pickles. That, and a packet of dill pickle crisps.

:le sigh:

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

I’m glad you explained that, E. I jumped to the conclusion that it was the photo of a bucket of raw meat that made you crave food from home. Silly me.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

E, your ears were most likely burning from the antiseptic. It’s no argument that a two day comma is totally worth a cuddle with the kitty but perhaps next time you should equip him with some mittens first. :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Well, now that you mention raw meat…I miss my dad’s home grown, home butchered, home made sausages. Even bigger sigh! Baz, I think you owe me!

ifly, I think next time I will just trim his claws before I cuddle. If I tried to put mittens on Etcetera…I’m pretty sure the world would never hear from me again.

Just about headed home. Think I’ll pick a peck of pickled peppers on my way and try to pretend they are home made.

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

A two day comma, ifly, is that more serious than a semicolon?

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

It is very much so knit_nurse and can only be cured by a strict regiment of Hooked on Phonics.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Hooked on Phonics werked for me!

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

I believe I was missed?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

That’s sweet Unca… esp when Mr.Pilot is raising eyebrows on my cooking… ok now everyone,enough dill-y dallying…. chop chop!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Hey E, I have home grown, home butchered piggies; send me your Dad’s sausage recipe and I’ll see what I can do…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Home butchered. Boy, there’s a phrase you seldom hear outside the Jeffrey Dahmer household….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I’ve never put a pig’s head on a stake ! I do have a mannequin though. And what might be termed as “butcher knives”. Depending on your butcher, obviously.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Have you ever dressed a pig as a princess or pop star, CG?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

CrowGirl, I’ll email my dad and get back to you via FB. And then when you make them I’m going to come over and stay with you for a few days :D It’s been far too long since I had them!!

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

You were missed my dear Shra. And I was not raising eyebrows to your cooking, just exploring all possible explanations to your and Es absence. I was concerned something might have went a-rye in your kitchen!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Or, it could be that I am contemplating murdering my present cow-irkers (thanks for that phrase, E.. I just lough it!) who think that since I am leaving, I could do everything THEY really should be doing… and they say the days of your notice period are calm and breezy… they know nothing!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You take “care” of your cow-irkers and I shall mine. Then we can be fugitives on the run and live on a nice tropical island somewhere far from the reaches of the law! :)

Or if we can’t find a tropical island maybe LMR has some room to rent at Mt. Isa.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I don’t have a tropical island, but I do have a hide away inside a magnolia tree close to a waterfall in one of my ponds and tucked away in the shade in my veggie garden. My little hideaway has herbs including rosemary and lavender and lemon verbena) and begonias), and a nice little bench painted “jazzy blue.”

It’s a “secret garden.” Oh, darnit! It’s no longer a secret! Darnit!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

A magnolia tree huh? Hmm.. I have always been partial to weeping willows.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Great minds think alike, Ifly. I have a full size weeping willow, too. But I planted it 100s of feet from the ponds (10 years ago), and I wanted the sound of a waterfall in my hideaway.

This summer, I’m going to do a photoshoot and submit the photos to Better Homes and Gardens. (No kidding.)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Spiny, gardening and landscaping are two of my passions. We have watergardens, rock gardens, bog gardens, rose gardens, a kitchen garden, etc. The front yard alone has 6 flower gardens.

Our friends call our place “the nature preserve.” My son describes our house as “the house with all the flowers” when he’s giving directions. It could be worse, I tell him. It could be “the house with the junk tractors in the front yard” or “the house with the car up on blocks” or “the house with the washer and dryer on the front porch.”

Unfortunately, the deer population in our area is totally out of control. Our tulips were deer candy this spring. To make matters worse, I actually bring hay and corn from my farm to feed the critters in the winter. That practice has totally [verb] a few of my neighbors.

The Village up the road has tried to pass an ordinance for a “deer cull [kill].” Villagers love their hostas and tulips more than the deer. But the Village has forests and floodplains, and less than a mile from our house is the edge of a wildwood preserve, so the deer have a natural habitat.

I love watching my deer in the morning while I drink my coffee, even if they are munching on my roses, thorns and all.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Weeping willows are awesome. The neighbors across the street from us when I was growing up had a ginormous weeping willow on their front lawn. The branches flowed out beautifully from the top in a perfect arch that came down and almost touched the lawn. I remember sitting under it in the shade during the summer. It was like being in a different world.

Then hurricane Gloria came along and took it all away. Luckily for my neighbors the winds were blowing away from the house so the tree ended up falling in the street rather than through the middle of the house.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I love cilantro and parsley and rosemary (Italian Flatleaf, of course). One of my cookbooks describes cilantro as “an unpleasant tasting herb.” HAH!

I cook with herbs everyday.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Shra – no never, but I’m open to suggestions…

Doc, your villagers are clearly wrong; of course deer are preferable to hostas. Hostas are an unpleasant tasting herb, and deer are lovely and boingy. And delicious. Your garden sounds fabulous. Mine is less of a disaster zone on a weekly basis, which is a decided improvement on the last few years. Having a day off a week is helping enormously. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

CG, ixnay on the ongwray agersvillay. The last time the Villagers and I had a disagreement, they came to my gates with torches and pitch forks. ;)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Doc, your garden sounds heavenly… does having a plant in the house qualify… seeing how I am the only one who seems to water it….
Spin, I have tried growing my own coriander, but to no avail… I would love to have a kitchen garden and grow my own stuff….
When we were little, we had a back yard and mum used to go a lot of gardening… and we had a lemon tree in our back yard…. 5 years and no fruit and just the year we thought we would cut it down, there was so much that we had to stop drinking lemonade…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

And yet they never turn up with their pitchforks when you need to build a hay stack…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

[...] Guy, last month you said that in case extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service, the [...]

[...] Guy, last month you said that in case extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service, the [...]

[...] Guy, last month you said that in case extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service, the [...]