Work in Hell, get weekends off
Blog Guy, I want to enlist in the military, but I need to be sure I’m in the most bad-ass, macho, kick-butt outfit my country has to offer. So what should I ask for? Afghanistan? Iraq?
No, you should demand to join Hell Squad.
You know, the famed Hell Squad! Our elite unit that makes forays into Hades. Perdition. The Inferno. Across the River Styx. Like where Satan lives. Here’s a picture of them in action, although it only shows the nicer part of Hell.
What do they go there for?
Different things. They do security work for Richard Nixon and Spiro Agnew, look for a suitable apartment for Bernard Madoff when the time comes, stoke the flames around the Accordion Music Room, stuff like that.
Man, that photo really does look awesome! At least that guy seems to have made it back safely from his mission, emerging from Hell balanced on that steel pipe.
Well, yes, except for the dude unhooking the chain holding the pipe…
This is the outfit for me! Do they get weekends off?
Sure. It’s still a government job.
Servicemen of a special unit from the Interior Ministry take part in a test near the village of Volovshchina, 16 miles west of Minsk, June 1, 2010. Servicemen have to pass several tough tests before being awarded entry to the ministry’s elite “Red Beret” unit. REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko