A dab of Kiwi wax on those Florsheims, Mr. Dracula?
Blog Guy, I need help. I have an overwhelming fear of being bitten by a vampire. What can I do to protect myself?
You could buy this handy 19th century Vampire Killing Kit that went up for auction in London today.
What does it do?
It looks just like a regular shoe-shine box, only it kills vampires instead of making your shoes shiny.
It’s got everything you need. A crucifix, wooden stakes, a pistol, garlic powder and I think some cinnamon Tic-Tacs for the garlic.
I already have all those things, all over my house and car. I just don’t have a fancy antique box for them.
It’s probably just as well. It could be pretty embarrassing if you confronted a vampire and it turned out you grabbed your shoe-shine box by mistake. “Can I shine those penny loafers up for ya, Mr. Nosferatu?”
A Vampire Killing Kit at Christie’s Auction house in London June 7, 2010. The 19th century kit – with later additions – includes a wooden box lined with velvet encasing the essentials once thought necessary to keep vampires at bay, including wooden stakes, a crucifix, vials for holy water, garlic powder, a bible, and a pistol. REUTERS/Luke MacGregor