Are you an optometrist or a pessimist?

June 13, 2010

eye test combo 490

Blog Guy, I am one  American who is sick and tired of dehumanizing medical procedures. My own pet peeve is the eye exam.

Really? The EYE exam? That’s what bothers you?

eye test 340Sure. Read those letter. Ooooh, sorry, you got them all wrong. Either you’re stupid or you need glasses.

Now, I’m going to put this diabolical widget mask on your face and you’ll look like some kind of  Steampunk Lone Ranger.

Okay, it’s time for the blinding drops in your eyes and then I push a metal suction cup right up against your eyeball…

I mean, Blog Guy, does it REALLY need to be like that?

eye exam vertical 200No. Just  check out these very recent shots from an eye doctor’s office down in Brazil, where everything they do is much more fashionable than anything we do here.

See how they use attractive hats with ribbons  to cover an eye during the exam? Note the chic sunglasses and  glossy dark lipsticks to test for color blindness.  And the eyedrops are made with champagne.

Oh, that’s what I want! Medical Exams of the Rich and Beautiful!

Then head on down there! Tomorrow’s report,  The Beautiful People and Bleeding Gum Disease…

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Top combo: models present creations from Fause Haten’s Summer 2010/11 collection during Sao Paulo Fashion Week, June 11, 2010. REUTERS/Nacho Doce

Middle: Models present creations from Alexandre Herchcovitch’s Summer 2010/11 collection during the Sao Paulo Fashion Week,  June 10, 2010.  REUTERS/Mario Miranda  

Bottom: A model presents a creation from Fause Haten’s Summer 2010/11 collection,  June 11, 2010,  REUTERS/Nacho Doce

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Would the correct term of address be Optomemiss?

Optomemiss, oh Optomemiss? Could I get a second cup of coffee, please?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Why? Oh, why, didn’t I become an optometrist?


Doc: Please read aloud the letters from this chart.


Doc: What does it say?

Patient: O. What. Ana. Siam?

Doc: Okay, read it faster.

Patient: O what an ass I am.

Doc: Okay! Good enough. Now, read this chart, slowly at first….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by robert basler, Giuliana. Giuliana said: RT @rbasler: Are you an optometrist or a pessimist? 10/06/13/are-you-an-optometrist-or-a-pes simist/ […]

Posted by Tweets that mention Are you an optometrist or a pessimist? | Analysis & Opinion | — | Report as abusive

Bet they’d color next to your stickers, Doc. Just have them color before the exam.

I am thinking of getting one of those Guess My Identity/I Only Had Enough Makeup for One Eye/Bad Hair Day hats. Do you think they ticked off their stylist and he put all their hats on them backwards?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

If I had hideous makeup on me like that, I would wear my hat like, but with even more coverage!

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

Where are you Sarabelle?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

“Read the last line for me… J-O-I-N-T-H-E-O-D-D-L-Y-E-N-O-U-G-H-B-L- O-G-N-E-T-W-O-R-K.”

Is it true that if a doctor needs to stick a needle in your eye you won’t feel it because you can’t feel anything in your eye? But then you still need to watch a needle about to be stuck right into your eye.

That creeps me the hell out.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Zombies never fail to disappoint RB when he has nothing else to write on 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive


Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Reminds me of Boy George, a little Devo with the shades. Definitely psychedelic. Thanks for the flashback, BG! What in the heck did you put in my doughnut?

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

I had eye surgery…it was weird. Couldn’t feel a thing but could see it all happening. Weirdest bit was when he was smoothing down the flap after he’d cut it and lasered. Worst bit was smelling something burning!

And have I ever mentioned that I <3 Steampunk?!



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Ask what he put in our coffees, Cam….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You won’t feel it once it’s in the middle of your eye but you’d sure as hell feel it going in if they didn’t give you lignocaine drops. Never poked yourself in the eye, ifly?

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Oh I have KN… but it was more of an accidental thing that I wasn’t watching my finger coming towards my eye thinking “Imma about to get poked in the eye”.

And usually it hurt.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

So the lime lipstick is a reward for being a good girl in the Doctor’s office?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@Shra … Frangelico, I hope! :-0

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

CAM, not very likely, unfortunately… with the way the Doughnut Shop is going, I say we’re lucky to get coffee!!!

Now, when it comes to the filling or the sprinkles on the doughnuts, that is a completely different issue: corporate endorsements take you a long way these days!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive