This just about clinches it, I’m in hell…
Hey Blog Guy, let’s play a game. What’s the very, very worst thing you can imagine doing right now?
Um, I’d have to say, watching that World Cup thing. You know, in person.
Sure, I think most people feel that way, but surely you can be more specific. Say you WERE at the World Cup right now, couldn’t it get worse somehow?
Yeah, I guess so. I could be there and see my wife with Lamar, my assistant.
That’s a good start. But surely there’s something much worse than that.
Of course. Let’s say I’m really hungry and thirsty, but all they have are bags of unsalted brussels sprouts and pint bottles of Crème de Menthe.
Ewww! Now you’ve got the hang of it. So. You’re at the World Cup, you see your wife with Lamar, you’re trying to gag down brussels sprouts and green booze, and what else could happen that would make it just a one-way trip to hell?
Hmmmm. I suppose the guy right behind me could pull out an accordion and start playing “Beer Barrel Polka.” But what are the chances of that?
A Portuguese fan claps while another plays the accordion during the training session of their national soccer team in Magaliesburg June 16, 2010. REUTERS/Jose Manuel Ribeiro