Come for the beaches, stay for the bloodbaths

June 23, 2010

MEXICO/

Jeez, I couldn’t make this news stuff up, even if they paid me a lot more than they do.

There is a serious drug war going on down in Mexico. Images of gruesome decapitations, charred and tortured bodies hanging from bridges, and brazen daytime shoot-outs are commonplace in the media.

MEXICO-DRUGS/More than 23,000 people have died in Mexican drug violence over the past 3-1/2 years, just about the population of Newport, Rhode Island. If every man, woman and child in in Newport died violently, I’m pretty sure it would be tough to attract tourists there.

Why am I telling you this in a humor blog? Because since the government can’t actually stamp out the violence, they are – I am not making this up – launching an advertising and public relations campaign to improve their image. Here’s the story.

Anyway, I have a major reputation to protect as a travel blogger, so my staff and I brainstormed the problem and came up with our Top 10 Mexico tourism slogans:

  • Come to Mexico! What’s the worst that can happen?
  • mexico beach 300Mexico! It’s safer than Detroit!
  • Don’t ask, don’t cartel…
  • Mexico, the land of 23,000 vacancies!
  • Mexico: Don’t touch him, he’s just resting!
  • Follow the gunfire to Acapulco!
  • Head for the border, like Davy Crockett did!
  • Mexico, the land of no sudden moves!
  • Bring your family! You’ll need them as blood donors…

And our number one slogan, but we want credit if they use it…

  • I love Mexico – so shoot me!

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Top: Spring breakers drink tequila on a beach in Cancun in the Mexican state of Quintana Roo, March 26, 2010. Mexico is expecting a dip in tourist numbers this Easter week after a surge in drug violence prompted some U.S. universities to warn spring breakers to avoid Mexico this year. REUTERS/Gerardo Garcia

Left: Four men lie arrested after a gun battle in the Mexican beach resort of Acapulco June 7, 2009. Fifteen drug hit men and two soldiers were killed in the shootout, the army said on Sunday. REUTERS/Jesus Trigo

Right: Tourists rest at Cancun beach, February 26, 2009. REUTERS/Stringer

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52 comments

We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see http://blogs.reuters.com/fulldisclosure/2010/09/27/toward-a-more-thoughtful-conversation-on-stories/

Thanks for the pic of the two hotties tanning. Gives me something to look at at least cause otherwise I am not going anywhere near the subject of this blog. Nope. Just gonna dust off my spot on the bench here. Crack open a cold one.

Dumm dee dumm dee dooo……

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

This counts as a comment, ifly….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

“Don’t get yourself shot, join the Oddly Enough Blog network” (wink to PilotGuy)

Besides that, PilotGuy, I am with you on the bench on this one… Bummy bum bum all ready for a long seat and all!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

You bench-sitters are making a huge mistake. This one is going to be big, and you have a chance to come up with a winning slogan….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Scoot over you two…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

“Mexico, it’s nicer than Afghanistan or Somalia”
“Mexico, the beer is cold, and so are the bodies”
“Mexico, our death panels are for real”

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Great stuff, Dave! Even though, let’s face it, the place probably isn’t nicer than Afghanistan or Somalia…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I didn’t say I wouldn’t comment Mr. B., to do so would be contradictory by all means. What I said was I wasn’t going anywhere near the subject of the blog. I will comment, but about other things. Like medi-donuts, beer, motorcycles, Miranda Kerr…ya know, the usual.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

“Mexico–once you’re here you might never go home!”

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

“Don’t be put on ice – just chill and join the Oddly Enough Blog network!”

“The only thing hotter than an AK-47 on full auto is the babes on our beaches”

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

“Mexico….so awesome that people are willing to run through desert and risk certain death just to cross the border to get out of it.”

“Mexico…sure there’s a lot of killings and kidnappings…but we’ve got GREAT food!”

“Mexico…at least your corpse will have a tan!”

“Mexico…don’t make eye contact.”

“Mexico…we’re making room for you…by killing EVERYONE else.”

“Mexico….guess who’s….er….WHAT’s in the tacos…”

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

Yes Spin, if you loved the ones I came up with, then of course you may vote….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Mexico: where you might become history as you experience it.

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

Spin, I like “Arrive in a swimsuit. Leave in a body bag.” Stylish.

And I have to ask, apologies in advance, how many ears did Davy Crockett have ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

WE HAVE DOS EQUIS,TACO,BURRITO,AND ENCHILADA BUT WE HAVE NO DUCK SIENOR!

Posted by ochoo | Report as abusive

Okay, you’ve lost me, CrowGirl. Davy Crockett? Ears? I’d say six.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Is that your best guess Blog Guy ? I’m relying on you, Doc and Unca for your bad pun knowledge…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Silly Bob. 3. Left, right, and his wild front ear.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Yeah, I just came to the computer to write that, but of course I have no proof…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Sunny Mexico!! Where we’ll kill you before the sun does!!
Mexico! Where you don’t have to worry about skin cancer!!

Heh..best I could come up with. Those ladies look…unreal…which is a shame because with their fab thick bellies and cute rounded thighs, they would actually look like real women…if not for the…colour.

:/

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Spin, watcha think I am doing from the bench? ;)
Though I would have liked a mucho better shot… :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

bizzarrrre…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Mexico!
We’ve a worm in the liquor,
The food might make you sicker,
Our machetes cut you quicker!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

What I am about to say has no relevance to the blog…

I have a niggle in my brain and I need advice….
“Should I or should I not… give a farewell treat to my co-workers?”

I was honest opinions, people!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Oh, ladies! I get points for not drooling recently when one of my friends asked a favor – to help crack his back. Which I kindly did and of course as long as his shirt was off it morphed into a little back massage. Got to help your friends, right?

BG we need OE dribble bibs along with the tee shirts in the museum.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

And you thought the water was your biggest worry! :-)

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

I’d say no, Shra. I bet just leaving is enough of a treat for them…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

The only farewell treat you should give to your cow-irkers is the sight of your bum as you leave that wretched place!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Oh. My back has gone to hell, too. One….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Shra. In all seriousness, give them a farewell treat. Be gracious. Thank everyone, including your boss, for what they have done for you. Tell them you’ll miss them.

Leaving a job is something like finishing a theatrical performance. Always leave them wanting more.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Welcome to Mexico – don’t forget to ask “Is the safety on?”.
Mexico – when the lead flies, the mosquitos don’t.
Mexico – where peanut allergies don’t seem so bad.
Mexico – it’s a riot!

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

Well, Doc… you said what my good side tells me to do….
Though sometime back I realised that I could have taken these 2 weeks,that I have been sitting on my bummy bum bum at work, off and maybe visited folks back home… or just taken a nice break…
Would you still say I should treat them?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, yes.

Mexico: Your gateway to Heaven’s pleasures. Call your travel agent today for a transmigration itinerary.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Note:

Price for transmigration plan may vary. Estate taxes not included. Final destination may vary. No warranty, express or implied.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Doc, sending thoughts of virtual massage to you. Drool free, unless Shra is sending you homemade goodies!

Shra, kind words and a smile.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I knew I could rely on you Doc. :)

Shra – slash and burn only when strictly necessary. Or after you’ve left, when they subsequently leave the country.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

LOL Spin!!! That would set me back quite a bit! Store bought pizza and chocolates would be tres facile…. :)

Which I think I would….

Thanks guys, suggestions mucho appreciated! :D
Dont I just love you guys! :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Pizza!!! :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Or maybe just wave your bummy bum bum to them good-bye?

On a (rare) serious note, I’d go for kind words, smiles, handshakes and hugs (where appropriate) and leave on the highest possible note. That will reflect well on you in everybody’s mind.

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Any more suggestions for slogans? It would be great if Oddly Enough Advertising could get this account….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Well, that was almost what happened…. no hugs though, M… they are not the kind of people I would want to hug….
Though I must say, Eddy (he’s the security guard) who is Santa Claus without the beard,gave me a big bear hug…
And that was the sweetest thing that happened to me all day… :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You got any of that pizza left, Shra?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Nah Baz… I am making spicy chicken though, and have some chocolate sponge cake… want some?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Yes! Hey, are you familiar with a dish called Palak Chaat?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Yup… pretty easy to make… but I prefer the other kinda chaat…. where you dont have to fry anything….
Not very healthy you see….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Yeah, you’re right about the frying of course, but this is the most fantastic, delicate dish.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Then I will try making palak chaat for ya, Baz…. :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Very cool. I’ll send my Basler BT-67 over to pick it up, Shra.
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/05/11/flying-high-with-my-secret-care er/

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Sorry,no take away…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Damn! Actually I figured as much, but one more comment on this post should push it into the most-comments list…..

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

No don’t send the BT-67! That’s the short-range model remember? Since you didn’t put engines in it and we have to get thrust from igniting aerosol cans the BT-67 only has an effective range of 6″.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Like I said… NO Take away!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

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