Come for the beaches, stay for the bloodbaths

June 23, 2010


Jeez, I couldn’t make this news stuff up, even if they paid me a lot more than they do.

There is a serious drug war going on down in Mexico. Images of gruesome decapitations, charred and tortured bodies hanging from bridges, and brazen daytime shoot-outs are commonplace in the media.

MEXICO-DRUGS/More┬áthan 23,000 people have died in Mexican drug violence over the past 3-1/2 years, just about the population of Newport, Rhode Island. If every man, woman and child in in Newport died violently, I’m pretty sure it would be tough to attract tourists there.

Why am I telling you this in a humor blog? Because since the government can’t actually stamp out the violence, they are – I am not making this up – launching an advertising and public relations campaign to improve their image. Here’s the story.

Anyway, I have a major reputation to protect as a travel blogger, so my staff and I brainstormed the problem and came up with our Top 10 Mexico tourism slogans:

  • Come to Mexico! What’s the worst that can happen?
  • mexico beach 300Mexico! It’s safer than Detroit!
  • Don’t ask, don’t cartel…
  • Mexico, the land of 23,000 vacancies!
  • Mexico: Don’t touch him, he’s just resting!
  • Follow the gunfire to Acapulco!
  • Head for the border, like┬áDavy Crockett did!
  • Mexico, the land of no sudden moves!
  • Bring your family! You’ll need them as blood donors…

And our number one slogan, but we want credit if they use it…

  • I love Mexico – so shoot me!

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Top: Spring breakers drink tequila on a beach in Cancun in the Mexican state of Quintana Roo, March 26, 2010. Mexico is expecting a dip in tourist numbers this Easter week after a surge in drug violence prompted some U.S. universities to warn spring breakers to avoid Mexico this year. REUTERS/Gerardo Garcia

Left: Four men lie arrested after a gun battle in the Mexican beach resort of Acapulco June 7, 2009. Fifteen drug hit men and two soldiers were killed in the shootout, the army said on Sunday. REUTERS/Jesus Trigo

Right: Tourists rest at Cancun beach, February 26, 2009. REUTERS/Stringer

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No don’t send the BT-67! That’s the short-range model remember? Since you didn’t put engines in it and we have to get thrust from igniting aerosol cans the BT-67 only has an effective range of 6″.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Like I said… NO Take away!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive