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The Hickey Queen of Floozy High?
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Blog Guy, last week you did an item on a traditional Chinese therapy that involves putting suction cups on a person’s back, and you seemed to poke fun at it.
I SEEMED to poke fun at it? Maybe I’m getting too subtle lately.
As a practitioner of this therapy, I demand that you write about its benefits. Here you can see a very healthy woman who has undergone our treatment. I will admit that the suction therapy did leave a slight discoloration in a couple of spots on her back…
Slight discoloration? Oh my God, she looks like she ran from a paintball ambush!
Listen, Blog Guy, there is no reason to…
Slight discoloration? Did an angry shoe-shine boy beat her with his rag?
Now you see here!
Slight discoloration? Did she get drunk and pass out on a hot waffle iron?
How long is this disrespect going to continue, Blog Guy?
I never know. Slight discoloration? I guess she swam a family of lamprey eels across a river to safety?
Are you almost finished, Blog Guy?
Just about. Slight discoloration? Who is she, the Hickey Queen of Floozy High School?
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A Chinese swimmer, with suction cup marks on her back after traditional treatment, attends practice at the National Aquatics Centre ahead of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games August 4, 2008. REUTERS/David Gray
A patient undergoes cupping treatment at a weight loss center in Changchun, Jilin province June 21, 2010. Cupping treatment involves creating negative pressures within glass containers, which are then inverted and placed onto the back of a patient. REUTERS/Sheng Li
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Wow, the reader is upset over your “disrespect” after DEMANDING you write about the benefits of octo-suction therapy? You shoulda demanded the reader write about the benefits of your foot up his bum.
I think you may have misunderstood what’s going on here, Ifly. I wanted to use a bunch more one-liners about that suction process, and I REALLY wanted to write a headline saying “The Hickey Queen of Floozy High?”
It’s the simple things that make life fun…
Can we be sure that these are not supernumerary nipples?
Maybe she was hugged too hard by an octopus. It could happen.
Billl, you mean “Superfluous Papita” a la ‘The Man With The Golden Gun’?
I agree Mr. B., it is the simple things. In that case, I retract my previous comment and the readers bum can remain sans foot.
And if those marks were made by a paintball marker then:
1) The paintballer who did that is one skilled marksman
2) oooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwww……
The second part I speak from experience.
Actually those marks are as a result of the Chinese Swim team’s new motivational sessions, where they swim across a pool of jelly fish, and then dive into a nest of angry octopusses (octopi?).
Either that or those are cigarette bruns and the swimmer is actually only 18 inches tall.
All I’m saying is that we may need some white bars here..
Another fine example of Mr. Basler’s spot-on reporting I do say.
Spotty at best. I like that. But folks, it’s still all about The Hickey Queen of Floozy High….
Did you happen to attend Floozy High?
She told her boyfriend if he is gonna give her a hickey to put them where her parents won’t see.
BG she nap attacked by her little brother with a vacuum cleaner before the big swim meet.
Floozy High is an all tramp, er, girls school, Bill. Her boy friend must have some mouth on him to leave hickeys that large. I do so hope he is treating her nicley and not like a dog. “Here Spot!”
If I were one of her teammates, I would give her the nickname “stripe.”
The Hickey Queen
From Floozy High
Dated a rather
Obnoxious guy
Off they went to see Dauphin
And the Queen was very sly
She was “spotted” – seen
Eating hot poutine
Followed by apple pie.
The Lesser Spotted Swim Bird (I got nothin else)
Hickey that big…..is that even possible?
Baz, you know anyone from Floozy high?
My roommate, long long ago, was one!
This should be allowed in USA and UK, a LOT of fatties here can benefit…
More over, she doesnt look the least bit obese to me!!!!
In case that becomes a member of the “Spammed out messages” group… I dont find the swimmer the least bit on the same side as the gentleman in the Suction-Me-Cheese Lumps-Out blog….
Then the octo-treatments worked Shra!
Ahh!! You really think so, Mr.Pilot! Maybe I should get myself enrolled… say, when would those hickey marks go away?
No need for you to enroll Shra, you are perfect the way you are.
@fwd079… right on!
Aww! You think so, Mr.Pilot?
I think I may have missed something. Cupping, is that like spooning?
I’m not the one to ask, Nurse. I don’t even know what Fairy Cakes are…
Fairy cakes are made by fairies of course, the same as butterfly cakes are made by butterflies and gingerbread men are made by gingerbread mummies and daddies.
I looked for cupping on urban dictionary, Mr B, but I still can’t work out how she got all those bruises, maybe she squeezed too hard.
I made Strawberry shortcake over the weekend and got it to work today…. all seemed to like it and the last time I checked they were all alive….
Does that make me a good experimenter?