It Alps if you don’t look down…
Blog Guy, you used to offer a valuable travel service by writing about places to stay away from. For the past three summers my family has taken your advice and crossed dozens of destinations off our list, but now we’re at a loss as to where not to go.
I’m sorry, reader. I hope it’s not too late for you to stay at home again this summer, because they’re about to open another “Are You Fricking Kidding Me?” tourist attraction over in Germany.
Oh good! Tell us what we’re staying away from this time!
It’s a so-called “viewing platform” a half-mile up in the Bavarian Alps. Clearly, if God had wanted us to have that view, there would already be solid ground there.
But look, the caption says the scene from this platform is “panoramic.”
Oh, get a grip. “Panoramic” is nothing but travel industry shorthand for “Isn’t that the chili dog you had for lunch?”
So, Blog Guy, when is the best time to stay away from this platform?
You might ESPECIALLY want to avoid it on July 4th.
That’s the day it opens, if you catch my drift.
Do you think you’ll EVER visit that place?
I’ll never step out on it, but I’m sort of tempted to go watch from a safe distance in a couple of months, just to see what happens when the big boozers at Oktoberfest get hammered and decide to take in the view. Now, THAT could be fun!
Employees work on the AlpspiX viewing platform at the southern Bavarian Alps mountain Alpspitze in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, June 29, 2010. Each arm of the so-called AlpspiX platform is 82 feet long and will end with a glass wall providing panoramas of Hoellental and Garmisch, with a spectacular view down 1000 yards below. It is due to open on July 4. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle