You here for business or pleasure, Mr. Stinky?
Man, the actual news is so goofy this week, I don’t even have to invent my own.
You take for instance this true story about a truck driver I like to call Mr. Stinky, who got caught trying to smuggle 28 TONS of garlic from Norway into Sweden. Jeez, what do you suppose tipped them off?
“Pssssssssst! Lamar! Come in here! Close the door.”
“Sure Boss. What do you need?”
“I want you to handle a little smuggling job for me, like you’ve done in the past.”
“What is it this time? Stolen art? Drugs?”
“No Lamar, it’s garlic.”
“You got vampire trouble again, Boss? How many cloves of garlic do you need?”
“Twenty-eight tons, Lamar.”
“Holy crap, Boss! You’re saying 28 TONS of GARLIC? Let’s see, by my calculations here, the border guards should smell that load when I’m still 450 miles away!”
“Right, so I guess you’ll have to really gun it as you blast through the border crossing. Oh, and Lamar? Remember, if they accuse you have having 28 tons of garlic in your truck, just act surprised.”
A garlic vendor waits in a truck bed for customers along a street in Zhenzhou, Henan province, China, April 15, 2009. REUTERS/Stringer
A model presents a creation by Daria Kostenko during a fashion show in Budapest October 27, 2007. REUTERS/Karoly Arvai