News, but not the serious kind
Inmate Hamster, welcome to The Rock!
Okay men, I have some good news and bad news for you from Warden Johnson, so listen up!
The good news is, from now on we’re gonna have electricity here at The Rock.
That’s right. Lights, fans and other appliances. It’ll be great.
The bad news is, you prisoners will have to generate the power yourselves, by taking turns on this stationary bicycle. Lamar, give it a spin.
You see, after a couple of hours of pedaling as fast as he can, Lamar collapses from heat exhaustion and gets to sit in front of the fan while somebody else does the work. When he recovers, he gets back on again. And so on.
Hey Lamar, can you pedal a little faster? The warden is having a cocktail party and his electric blender isn’t gonna run itself…
Oh and Lamar? Tomorrow at midnight we’ll need the strongest, most bad-ass inmate you’ve got to pedal the bike.
What? Oh nothing, we’ll just be using the electric chair for a few minutes, is all…
An inmate pedals a stationary bicycle attached to a battery that is used to power lights and electrical appliances inside a city jail in Makati, Metro Manila July 7, 2010. The Philippines has been experiencing problems in its power supply as hydroelectric dams have been affected by drought. REUTERS/Romeo Ranoco