Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Could any bull resist that face?

July 11, 2010

SPAIN/

Blog Guy, I really admire your attitude. I read your blog every day, and you have something nice to say about everyone. I just wish I could have such a generous heart. How do you do it?

GERMANY/The trick is to have inner fricking peace. I mean, you need to realize that every human being is one of God’s creatures, and that…  OMG! Look at that dumbass bullfighter!

Excuse me, Blog Guy? You were saying something about inner peace?

How pompous do you have to BE to make a face like that? If there’s any justice in the world they’ll be sucking him up with a Wet Vac in Pamplona….

Er, I guess we all drift from the righteous path now and then, Blog Guy. But the main point is that…

MAN! Look  at this yokel with the funny glasses wearing a tie with short pants! Where is he going in that? I bet his name is Chauncey  or Nigel and he’s carrying dismembered limbs in that black bag. He probably even….

SOCCER-WORLD/Gosh, Blog Guy, I just noticed you actually have a dumbass tag on your blog. You don’t see those too often.

Yeah, it really comes in handy. That reminds me, it’s time to run that picture again of those two fans at the World Cup…

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Top: Spanish bullfighter Ruben Pinar adjusts his montera before the start of the third bullfight of the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, Spain, July 9, 2010. REUTERS/Joseba Etxaburu

Right: A model presents a creation of the Boss Black line by German fashion house Boss at Berlin Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2011 in Berlin, July 8, 2010. REUTERS/Thomas Peter

Left: Fans cheer from the grandstand during the 2010 World Cup Group E soccer match between Netherlands and Japan at Moses Mabhida stadium in Durban, June 19, 2010. REUTERS/Rogan Ward

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Comments

He is thinking “ZOMG – what a terrible time to catch a dose of Montezuma’s revenge.” I’ll bet he’s wearing white pants too. Naw, scratch that, they’re probably blue, but odds are they are not brown.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

Is he driving hat pins or nails into his head in an effort to hold the hat in place?

If I worked somewhere that was so hot the management allowed shorts, but insisted on ties, I’d wear one. Though it could interfere with the flow of blood to my brain. Could that be used in court if I went crazy from the lack of blood to my brain and used the tie on my manager?

Wonder what the conversation between Chauncy and ol’ spot the fan would be like. Oh, nevermind.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

These bullfighting pix always remind me of a weekend I spent in Spain after the Big War….

CHAPTER I

I was a part of the “lost generation.” So was Robert “Bob” Cone. Bob was once the chess champion at Bi-State Community Collge. Do not think that I am impressed by that chess title, but it meant a lot to Bob Cone.

Bob cone was….

“All right. I’m putting an end to this right now, before it gets out of hand.”

“Why, whatever do you mean, Bob?”

“I have a life, you know. And you are the most longwinded, trite, backwater-dump, has-been, pedantic, pompous writer that I have ever come across.”

“Well. You do what you want….”

Bob Cone was a member, through his father’s family, of t

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Well, I guess Bob doesn’t want to publish the next Great American Novel. But, Bob, if you change your mind, here are my working titles:

“The Stungun Also Dices” or

“Six Bloggers in Search of an Author…with a Gun Apiece.”

And now, since I’m on vacation this week, free to nothing but everything my wife’s heart desires, I’m going to go to the Wildwood Preserve for a long walk and then read a novel out by my ponds, listening to the waterfall and smelling the pine trees.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Head of Cone family a Conehead? Were they really from France?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Onedoor, you nailed it! Although his name was a broad hint (c’mon–PINAR?) But yes, I have it on good authority that a bullfighter keeps his montera in place with a 6-inch hat pin, so Pinar, suffering from pattern baldness, is actually performing his own brain surgery before each fight. (This makes more sense all the time.)

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive
 

Chauncey/Nigel is doing the best he can, Mr. B. On any one else, those pants would be long. You can gauge his size by the other two models: the woman comes to his waist, the man behind, barely past his knees. YOU try finding pants with a 7-ft. in-seam. As for the tie, leave it alone. The guy’s scrambling for a scrap of dignity, ok?

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive
 

Thanks for setting me straight, ladylala. Naturally I feel awful about that poor gentleman now. Just to double-check, the matador IS still a dumbass, right?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Do apologize for the tie remark (sort of), ladylala. Can I poke fun at him if it appears he shaved his legs?

Doc, do I get one of the guns????

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Sure, One. But you have supply your own water.

Before NeverPostAgain accuses me of theft again, “The Stungun Also Dices” is a spoof of the opening lines of Ernest Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises,” which is about Robert Cohn, who (the narrator tells us) was the boxing champion at Princeton. The narrator never says that he is a member of The Lost Generation, but we figure that out.

I guess I have to post footnotes to make sure some that some know I’m writing a spoof and what I’m spoofing.

(Or did that one get by you, NeverPostAgain?)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Yes, Mr. B, the matador still qualifies as a dumbass. In fact, you’d think sticking a spike into his own skull would teach him how the bull must feel, so yeah, definite dumbass. Double-dumbass.
And Onedoor, IF you can tell if Chauncey’s shaved his legs, you are peering FAR too closely…

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive
 

If you can get a stungun that also brunoises as well as dices, put my name down for one.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

LOL! I will refrain from peering for a while, ladylala. I like the bracelet length sleeves on his shirt. He does need a nice Big & Tall man’s store.

So, Doc, you are reading about a con man?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

I just love his expression!!!
Reminds me of Lily Allen’s song… “when I see you cry… it makes me smile!” :P

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Dave, what is “ZOMG”?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Shra – ZOMG is an emphatic version of OMG, often to parady or to ‘state the obvious’, in order to be used as a mild put-down.
For example, if someone were to post something like “What do those matador guys use hatpins for?”, you could respond with “ZOMG – so their silly little hats don’t fall off when the bull tosses them in the air like a rag doll”.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive
 

Well, as you know, sportspeople often do ‘visualisations’ before starting the game. This guy is apparently visualising the bit where the bull sticks it’s horns into his butt and he gets some new ‘ventilation’ holes in his pants.
I’m betting that the bull is also visualising exactly the same thing, but probably with a different expression on its face.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

To me, it looks more like his face resisted the bull.

Posted by Logrus | Report as abusive
 

hahahaha I would LOVE to wear those shorts to my workplace :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 

You lost me, One.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Doc. it’s a gift I was born with…

Robert Cohn/con man

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Ah, One, I get it. Sometimes, I think my brain is remote controlled by a fly….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Oh, for a moment I thought your brain was controlled by Ifly, Doc… I was thinking of Mr.Pilot being so clever!!! ;)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

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