Oddly Enough Blog
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Hey, you’re just a pretender vendor!
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Blog Guy, I saw some Reuters photos of street vendors in San Salvador, having a protest. There were THOUSANDS of them. How can there be so many street vendors in one city?
That’s easy. There are no indoor shops there. Everything is sold on the streets by vendors.
For example, you buy your fruit smoothie from a blender vendor while a mender vendor repairs your jacket.
But I need a bank loan.
Then see the lender vendor.
And if I need a lawyer?
A defender vendor.
Whoops! My pants just fell down!
That’s a job for the suspender vendor.
I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body. What about a sex change operation?
You need the gender vendor.
Is there any street music there?
Of course! Listen to the Elvis impersonator sing, “Love me Vendor” and “Return to Vendor.”
Enough of this stupidity. So why are these vendor folks so upset, anyway?
A car crashed into one of their street stalls yesterday.
That’s horrible! Was it serious?
Nah, it was just a vendor bender.
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Top: Thousands of street vendors march to the presidential house in San Salvador July 13, 2010. The vendors are protesting against being evicted from the streets, which was ordered by San Salvador mayor Norman Quijano as part of the city’s plan to tightly regulate peddlers.
Right: Police search street vendors as thousands march to the presidential house in San Salvador July 13, 2010.
REUTERS photos by Luis Galdamez
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So is the Terminator a vendor ender?
Is the mail and fedex handled by a vendor sender? Or would that be the mortician?
Running one of those big bulls might clear the streets. The Bull vendor ender.
And for anyone that didn’t move quite as quickly as he should have, the Doc for a vendor mender. Or possibly FedEx if ir was a destination ender…
Yum. Is goat face taco as good as it sounds?
I just learned a new word – kluge. Maybe not perfect usage, Unc, but who cares?
Coke dealer = bender vendor?
If you want to get really drunk…for the whole weekend, could you visit a bender vendor? If the man behind the bar isn’t holding up his end of the deal, perhaps you need to visit a bartender vendor.
And, Unca, you can’t forget the little kids in TJ peddling chiclets. Kluge is such a versatile word!
And perhaps you England footy fans need to find a goaltender vendor prior to the next World Cup!
And as BG goes into limericks… Shra rests her rear-ender on the bencher… selling smoothies straight from the blender…
Those vendors look pretty tough, so we know they’re not gender benders …
In the first pic, vendor splendor. In the second pic, vendor surrender.
See what you started? You must be so pleased… like Lard Ass in that movie where everybody pukes.
Some of these vendors peddle drugs, and that is the main reason why San Salvador was trying to limit street vendors. Some sold prescription drugs illegally. One sold Viagra. He was an extender vendor.
Yeah, I know about that one, Doc. His cover story was that he sold bass guitar strings.
That’s right, he was a pretender Fender vendor.
ah, ya forget the roadside investment professionals shouting advice, and the blokes who are swapping permit tickets back and forth to the hot sales spots.
Yep, them trender vendors and Vendor Vendors do some brisk business.
Spin, have you done any actual work for your employer today?
Blog Guy did call them fake guitar guys right, tho. The automotive parts sellers were coming around with their wrenches wondering about their stocks of goods. The REAL fender vendors might have driven a car into the fakes…
I understand that the government agency that hands out licences to the folks that repair things on the street, often use very young men to deliver the notices that their licence has been revoked, and that these young men masquerade as other street sellers.
Yes, they are known as a Tender Mender Vendor Ender Sender Pretender Vendor.
I surrender.
I don’t know if I’m more confused by “kluge” or “goat face taco”.
Zee, come again?!?