Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Mary, Mary, quite contrary…
Email 
Print
It turns out the folks who regulate ads over in Britain have banned one showing Queen Mary I as a flesh-eating zombie, after complaints that it frightened children.
Now, I’m all for not giving nightmares to our children any sooner than we have to, like for example when I had to explain truthfully to my son who Richard Nixon was.
But let’s face it. Queen Mary WAS a flesh-eating zombie! Just check out this portrait, painted while she was the queen, by somebody trying to make her look GOOD.
They didn’t call her “Bloody Mary” for nothing. Back in the 16th century, she burned some 300 people at the stake just because they checked “No thanks, we don’t want to be Roman Catholics,” when they filled out the questionnaire.
So after all that, we’re supposed to show her baking chocolate chip cookies for the neighborhood children?
Sorry kids, Mary was a nutjob who gave zombies a bad name, and if you see her, run away.
And while you’re at it, don’t take any lemonade from Old Man Hitler, either.
Join the Oddly Enough blog network
Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler
Right: Mary I c. 1555, unknown artist, National Portrait Gallery, London.
Left: A woman dressed like a zombie takes part in a parade at the Brussels International Fantasy Film Festival, April 10, 2010. REUTERS/Sebastien Pirlet
Comments RSSPost Your Comment
-
Author Profile
-
Mary does look rather pale in the painting. Maybe she drank too much holy water and it affeted her judgement.
Zombie Parade in Brussels! Believe if you ingest large quantities of their chocolate, it puts you in a stupor. Prime target for those slow moving zombies. And the zombie in the photo could use a little visine.
Where is the Zombie Optometrist? If I were a zombie, I would definitely be an optometrist. If anything has the abiity to go really bad on a zombie, the eyes have it. I suspect Brandy Anne was a lot more fun at parties than Bloody Mary.
BG and Doc, you need to watch Fido.
Fortunately, none of the doc’s patients have come into the office looking like that. “Please fill out these forms and please do not eat the other patients.” It would just be too difficult trying to disinfect the counter while keeping them from chomping my arm.
Zombies are the reason .50cal bullets and the weapons they are used in were invented.
I don’t understand. There a lot of things that “frighten children”. Are the ad regulators going to ban all of them? In fact, they should probably ban that portrait you included to show us how evil the woman looked.
I am….. speechless….
Nice eye make-up.
On which one of them?
She could use some lip liner though. It appears her lipstick bled…
And you’d think she could do something with her hair….
Again, you’ll have to be more specific, Doc. Which one are you talking about?
I mean the so-scary-that-a-piece-of-saran-wrap-will -do-as-a-Halloween-mask one: Queen Mary.
I query the photograph caption “A woman dressed like a zombie takes part in a parade” and would like to suggest instead “A woman made up as a zombie…” Unless of course you know something about monochrome tartan that I don’t?