Mary, Mary, quite contrary…
It turns out the folks who regulate ads over in Britain have banned one showing Queen Mary I as a flesh-eating zombie, after complaints that it frightened children.
Now, I’m all for not giving nightmares to our children any sooner than we have to, like for example when I had to explain truthfully to my son who Richard Nixon was.
But let’s face it. Queen Mary WAS a flesh-eating zombie! Just check out this portrait, painted while she was the queen, by somebody trying to make her look GOOD.
They didn’t call her “Bloody Mary” for nothing. Back in the 16th century, she burned some 300 people at the stake just because they checked “No thanks, we don’t want to be Roman Catholics,” when they filled out the questionnaire.
So after all that, we’re supposed to show her baking chocolate chip cookies for the neighborhood children?
Sorry kids, Mary was a nutjob who gave zombies a bad name, and if you see her, run away.
And while you’re at it, don’t take any lemonade from Old Man Hitler, either.
Right: Mary I c. 1555, unknown artist, National Portrait Gallery, London.
Left: A woman dressed like a zombie takes part in a parade at the Brussels International Fantasy Film Festival, April 10, 2010. REUTERS/Sebastien Pirlet