Then those animals FORCED me to shop!
Okay, now I just feel like a total jerk.
We have a great story from Beijing about officials issuing an advisory on Hong Kong travel after a video surfaced showing tourists being insulted and “forced to shop” by a tour guide. I’m not making this up.
Indeed, the story says a 65-year-old tourist died from a heart attack in Hong Kong, after arguing with a tour guide over forced shopping there.
I lived and worked in Hong Kong for years, and I now realize this must have been the very same gang that frequently kidnapped my wife, refusing to free her until she bought jewelry, designer outfits and tasteful high-end accessories.
Tearfully, she would describe her ordeal as she piled her new rings and necklaces into overflowing jewelery boxes, and crammed stylish dresses into our closets.
But I scoffed at her stories. Why, I wondered, did these gangs never force her to buy stuff I might want, like electronic goods and single malt Scotch?
Now that I know they really exist I apologize, and I only hope one day I will come face-to-face with these lowlife retail rapscallions.
Take ME instead, you bully! Blindfold me, drive me to a big-screen TV store, and do your worst! But first, make me stop at a Krispy Kreme.
A sales representative talks to a customer at a jewelry store which sells gold in Hong Kong, October 7, 2009. REUTERS/Bobby Yip
Shoppers walk in the Landmark mall in Hong Kong in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Woody Wu