Oddly Enough Blog

Blog Guy, my doctor says I have to get a colonoscopy. I understand it’s a really awful ordeal what with having to, you know, totally clean yourself out, and then go into the clinic and have an anesthetic and then they jam that thing you-know-where.

Like most people, I come to you for all my tough medical questions. Is there an easier way to take this test?

Of course there is. You can just buy one of those new Home Colonoscopy Kits at any good drugstore.

Wow! Do I still have to drink that awful yucky stuff to purge my system the night before?

No, the home machine comes with some old unrefrigerated egg salad sandwiches. You’ll be purged in no time.

Old egg salad! Yummers! But I understand the colonoscopy takes a couple of hours. I’m not sure I can concentrate on looking at a monitor that long.

Then just doze off for a few minutes, as this dude is doing during his colonoscopy. Who’s gonna know?

I’ll do it! But wait, what if I actually find something that shouldn’t be there?

Look in the kit. What do you thank that wire coat hanger and brillo pad are for?

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A salesman, manning an exhibit of x-ray equipment, sleeps next to an image of a man with weapons attached to his body at the China International Exhibition on Police Equipment in Beijing, April 21, 2010. REUTERS/David Gray