Scents and Sensibility?

July 22, 2010

Okay Lamar, we’re up against a tight deadline here if we’re going to launch Jennifer Aniston’s fragrance this week. We came to your ad agency because your team is the best in the business, so what have you got?

Well Mr. Johnson, remember Ms. Aniston turned down several of our proposals already.

BRITAIN/

That’s true, Lamar. Jennifer was not interested in marketing her fragrance as “Dumped.”

What about our second proposal?

BRITAIN/No Lamar, surprisingly she wasn’t too crazy about calling it “Brad’s Ex,” either.

And what about our idea of calling it “Forgettable,” with that ad campaign where she looks right into the camera, holds up a bottle of her perfume, and asks, “Can you name three movies I’ve been in?”

Look, Lamar. I need a name for this fragrance and I need it now!

No problem, Mr. Johnson. We’ve come up with…you’re gonna love this…JENNIFER ANISTON!

But wait, that’s just her name!

Exactly, Mr. Johnson. It’s honest, easy to remember….

So just to make sure I understand, Lamar, after six months of creative brainstorming you want us to launch Jennifer Aniston’s fragrance as JENNIFER ANISTON?

You got it, Mr. Johnson. That’ll be five million dollars.

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U.S. actress Jennifer Aniston poses with her fragrance ‘Jennifer Aniston’ during its launch at Harrods in London July 21, 2010. REUTERS/Stefan Wermuth

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I like Jennifer Aniston… Oh wait.. I like Rachel Green…!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Who ever heard of a perfume named Rachel Green, Shra?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I prefer the made up names for perfumes. Why, just the day before yesterday, I received some mail addressed to occupant. Spent the day thinking that was my name. Thought it was going to take until the day after tomorrow to figure it out. Then I saw the Levi tag on my jeans. You’d have thought my parents would have chosen a more feminine name for me.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Let me guess, One. We’ve been a great audience and you’ll be here all week?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

If they named a cologne after me, it would be called “Dammit.” That’s what my Dad always called me: “Get a haircut, Dammit! Close the door, Dammit.” My brother’s name is Jesus Christ!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

BG: Nah, just in craxy hyper mode today. Hey, you started it!

Doc: Got to love it!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

One, I sent you a Friend Request on FB. I hope you don’t mind and that you accept it. I couldn’t figure out how to send you a message on FB.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Doc, my dad used to call me pumpkin. It effectively squashed any sense of normalcy I might have had. I love him for it!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I wonder if there could be a perfume named after your bro, Doc…
BG, you have inspired me to put something whacky on FB… if only it will open from work!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

And one more thing… I am bored of perfume ads using models in various states of frenzy, which may seem very sensual, flitting around like a possessed soul and finally ending up at the beach… and then they look into the camera as if they are going to devour it or just kill it with their “gaze”….
Now, the last attribute is something an OSU girl would do, but she would know better than to flit around for a perfume ad!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

How about “Waning Career”?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Friends and sensibility :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

One, I sometimes call my son “Pumpkin.”

My Brother owns a lawn-mowing company. He has bill boards around saying “Need help? Call Jesus. 1-800——.” ;)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

“Rumor Has It” that “Friends w/Money” spoke about “The Break-up”. Then “Along Came Polly” who “Derailed” “Marley & Me”.

I actually think that “Rumor Has It” is a great name for a scent, if it’s not already taken.

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

Very impressive, Mama. “Marley & Me” would be another fine name for perfume.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Unca: yeah, that’s why its the GHOST who’s scared ;-)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

OMG! Did you see the state of her hands in the first picture? She has the hands of an 80 year-old.
This is supporoted by the second photo where she seems to be saying “Arrrggh! Look what that cr*p has done to my hands! My beautiful hands are melting!”.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

Interesting. Movie titles that could also be fragance names.
I nominate:
Fatal Attraction
The Fifth Element
Million Dollar Baby
Catch Me If You Can
and just for the heck of it:
Lethal Weapon
Fight Club
Primal Fear
Predator

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Incidentally, is that actually a dress she is wearing or has she managed to slips her bony arms out of the straightjacket?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

So, if my sister wears this stuff, she’ll smell like Jennifer, right?

Maybe you could call it Brad Off!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

“Party Girl” sounds like an interesting name for a perfume, but one suspects it would smell cheap.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Ifly, Fwd – nice. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Doc – Party Girl is right up there with “For a few dollars more” and “Snatch”…

Nosmo, I nominate:
Touch of Evil
Psycho
Sin City
Unforgiven
Notorious
Scarface

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Crow – I’m still chuckling over the titles/perfume names.

Nos – let me know if you ever market Fifth Element. It would have to be an extrordinary scent. That is still one of my favorite movies.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Contunuing with the theme, here are a few eww ones (as names of perfumes, of course! Teeheehee):

Grease
Species
Hangman
Chuckie

:D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

nice twist, Shra!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Shra – Grease could work for the name of Rachel Green’s perfume, as she has Greek heritage.
I had an additional movie to add to my list, for these desperate economic times:
Eat The Rich

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

CG, your titles/names of perfume are great! I especially like “Touch of Evil,” an old favorite of mine. Such marvelous ambiguity, and such a wonderful opening shot!

Funny, just yesterday, one of my assistants told me that I have a wicked side. Oooh. “Wicked.”

I once went out on a date with a young woman whose perfume should have been called “Night of the Living Dead”!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Dawn of the Dead
The Shining
Taken

Or the ever alluring “Wet Hot American Summer”.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Some classic films noirs:

I Wake Up Screaming
In a Lonely Place
Fallen Angel
Leave Her to Heaven
The Lady from Shanghai

For Men
Night Moves
The Big Heat
Double Indemnity

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I’d wear “I wake up screaming”.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Or maybe Animal Farm. I’m just sayin’….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

My dad called me ‘Mouse’ growing up, and our office manager (totally independently) has taken to calling me that too.

No doubt you will soon see ‘Mouse’ on the shelves: it has a base note of rodent urine, a woodshavings mid-note and a top note of fear and desperation.

Posted by LMR | Report as abusive

Is your office manager, Basler, LMR?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

In high school, my nickname was “Butcher.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Isn’t that the nickname they usually give to serial killers, Doc?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Or, as in my case, defensive ends and small forwards. It is interesting that one of my assistants calls me “Icepick.” She refuses to call me “Dr. Wonderful.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Dr Doll – have her fired!

Mr B – I DO wear Animal Farm; I WOULD wear I wake up screaming. Tense man, tense!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Yeah CrowGirl, my wife would agree that I’m too tense. I’m working on it.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Indeed I do, Spin. I almost used it in my reply to CrowGirl, but I wasn’t sure it would travel well beyond our shores, and if I then had to explain it, well, Shra is always lurking with that damned taser.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I wake up screaming, which I’m sure Crowgirl will testify to.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

First he complains that I DONT use the taser enough… now he complains I use the taser ALL THE TIME!
Which one is it gonna be, BG!!
I would wear “Leave her to Heaven”…. or “Fallen Angel”.. :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I can tesify that Knit Nurse does indeed wake up screaming.

I also know the difference between a teepee and a wigwam, but I don’t know why that’s funny..?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Crow, it’s a reference to your earlier reference to tense…

Guy says to his shrink, “Doc, I’m a teepee. I’m a wigwam. I’m a teepee. I’m a wigwam….”

Shrink says to him, “You’re too tents….”

Maybe it sounds better out loud….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Maybe I’ll market soem new fragrances:

For women: “Femme Fatale”

For men: “Homme Fatale”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I think there is a perfume called Femme Fatale…. no?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Ah, I see. I thought wigwams were the ones made of spare tree branches and scrub and stuff, and are thus more like long rooms than tents? And teepees are the quick put up animal hide on poles things? Or am I just being awkward?

I do know the difference between a buffalo and a bison though, but it’s only funny if you’re from Birmingham (West Mids UK not Alabama).

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

[...] is currently a shortage of celebrity fragrances, especially if you don’t like the ones from Jennifer Aniston, Hilary Swank, Dave Beckham, Bilbo Baggins, Mamie Eisenhower, Ralph Waldo Emerson, six of The [...]

[...] if she craves attention so badly, why doesn’t she launch a fragrance, like Jennifer Aniston and Katy Perry and everybody else [...]