Me and my goat are goin’ to France!

July 25, 2010

LITHUANIA/

Blog Guy, I come to your blog just for the goat news, which is the best! My goat has been really good lately, and I’d like to do something nice for him. Any suggestions?

PAKISTAN/Um, well, maybe you could give him a nice bath?

Oh, that’s nothing special for him. I want this to be truly memorable.

Gotcha. How about entering him in a beauty contest. He’ll be thrilled if he wins, and the goat beauty pageant circuit is in full swing this month.

That’s a good thought, but he doesn’t look that great in a swimsuit. Don’t tell him I said so.

CYCLING-TOUR/Look, I do have one other idea, but it would be a REAL splurge.

Tell me! Tell me! I want him to be just the happiest goat in the whole world!

Well, every goat I’ve ever met has been crazy about bicycle racing.

Yes! That’s right. He LOVES bicycle racing. So?

Three little words for you. Tour de France…. Be sure to ask for the special goat discount.

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Top: The crowd looks on as a goat called Grazyolyte is crowned the winner of a goat “beauty contest” in Ramygala, Lithuania, July 5, 2010. REUTERS/Ints Kalnins

Left: Boys give their pet goat a bath at a public water pump along a roadside in Karachi, September 13, 2009. REUTERS/Akhtar Soomro

Right: The pack of riders cycles past a goat during the 17th stage of the Tour de France cycling race from Pau to Tourmalet Pass, July 22, 2010. REUTERS/Bogdan Cristel

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11 comments

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This is part of an actual conversation I once had with “Ed”, as best as I can remember it:

Doc: Thanks for coming in.

Ed: Well, I almost didn’t make it. Once of the kids is sick, and we don’t think he’s going to make it.

Doc: Oh! I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?

Ed: Oh … no. Goats. Gopats. The kid is a goat.

Doc: Oh.

Ed: I raise goats. Goat is the most commonly eaten meat in the world.

Doc: I didn’t know anyone around here raised goats for meat production.

Ed: It’s delicious. I built a new barn and threw a party. People were telling me “this beef is delicious, just wonderful.” They wanted to know where I got such wonderful beef. I said “Look around you. This is a goat barn. Do you see any steers in here?”
_________

True story. I used to kid my son that we were having “goat nose and okra” for supper. That backfired. Now, he won’t try okra, which is perhaps just as well.

So. Anyone want to come over and help me celebrate the alligators I’ve added to my menagerie in the back 40? I’m joking. I am firm on 2 things: No more children and no reptiles!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Goat – without it we would have to eat chicken EVERY night.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Dinner in the goat barn? A fragrant experience.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Unca, I have never eaten goat. I have no intention of ever eating goat. That was what “Ed” said. I don’t even eat lamb. I’m a beef and pork kinda guy.

Yes, One, that was a very strange conversation, in more ways than one. And you should have seen Ed, dressed in a star-spangled shirt with a beard. He looked like an Old Testament Prophet wearing a flag. It takes all kinds to make up this world, and I certainly meet all kinds.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

A friend has some rather rowdy goats if you’d like to treat him to a good time. I can’t promise that he won’t pick up some bad habits though.

Mmm, curry goat.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

You mean baaaaaaad habits?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Thanks Unca… :D
Yeah, well, we tend to call it “mutton” back home… Though yes, if given a choice… I would stick with chicken… and if I get bored of it… turn vegetarian… not that I havent tried… just that, the chicken keeps calling me!!!

Coooome to me! Cooooooooooome to me!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Oohhh and the bell around the goat’s neck is nice… though I would have suggested it try pink, if it wanted to experiment with coat colour… blue is not doing the trick…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

why the french goat is laughing at cyclists? :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

It’s actually Lance Armstrong’s secret attack goat, waiting for his oppposition to appear so it can head butt them off the road.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

The last photo is a scene from the upcoming movie ‘Goats who stare at men – wearing lycra’.
Which incidentally may or may not be the name of a new fragrance to be released by Jennifer Anniston.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive