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The worst dress in the history of Earth?
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Blog Guy, I’m a very strict father with a parenting question. My daughter’s prom is next weekend, and…
Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but what kind of school has a prom in August?
It’s a summer school prom. Anyway, you know how kids behave at those things, and I’m afraid the boys will be trying to get her to do you-know-what. So I’m looking to find a prom dress that will keep her absolutely safe.
That’s a tall order, but I believe I’ve found a dress so totally freakish that your daughter’s prom experience is guaranteed to scar her for life and require years of therapy.
That’s just what I want! What does it look like?
Picture a large, festive zucchini with wings and a peephole.
Hmmmm. Well, I don’t know. Remember, she needs to be INCREDIBLY unattractive.
Trust me. In this dress she could prance through Death Row talking nasty at the top of her lungs, and she wouldn’t get a second glance. Now let’s talk about some wooden clogs for her to wear with it.
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Model Liana N’Diaye wears a creation by Ivory Coast designer Anderson D during Dakar Fashion Week, July 18, 2010. REUTERS/Finbarr O’Reilly
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Whoever designed this outfit should be nominated for “The Order of the Green Shaft”! Is this what happens when one takes Viagra with Red Bull?
It’s kind of like a walking glory hole she can bring to the prom. And while she can still expectorate all the Midori she ends up drinking from the front end, dad can rest assured she won’t be simultaneously getting pregnant on the other end. I like it.
OO, & the wings open & close! Are you sure this wasn’t a picture from Comic Con also?
You can actually classify that as a dress???
Actually, it’s quite fashionable .. on some planets.
That’s quite curvy for a courgette.
Guru Bob, I sympathize with this well-meaning father. I have another strategy he might find useful: Have her teeth removed and made into dentures–which dad keeps under lock and key. Until she is thirty, she may wear them to church and to choir practice. May seem harsh, but one day she’ll thank him: “Fnang mew mewwy mush,
Ndandy”. (It’ll sound better with the plates in.)
Oh no! I learned something. Must forget that a courgette is a zucchini! Muuuuussssst fffforrrrrrgeeeeeet. Must forget that a courgette is a zucchini! …. Oh bugger!
Jeez Lala, that’s kind of old school, isn’t it? I mean, that method went out of style in the ’90s.
I think I lost my appetite for zucchini
oh my… wrapped zombies
Look wat you did Doc!! Insane is scarred for life!!
Either that’s a giant oven mit with wings, or it is the latest in missile covers.
Yes, keep your missiles warm, dry, and err, fashionable.
You’d be MAD not to have one.
She is a short lived idea to try to find Banana-man a sidekick!
@Dolmance… that was a bit disturbing. Funny, but disturbing. :p
Isn’t this Gumby’s partner?
I thought Doc came here to learn.
Yes, Guru Bob, my “dental intervention” stratgey for protecting potentially wayward teens may be outmoded, but what is the tragic alternative? Rampant teenage pregnancy!
I stand firm: the fewer “baby teeth” the better.
Ladylala, I believe they still employ your approach in Appalachia, only they do it by getting their children hooked on Mountain Dew at age 1.
You bet, Spin. Watch this space….
Yeah… saw that just yesterday… you played your part well, BG! Hurrah!