Check the neck, I don’t eat meat…

July 27, 2010

ellen vegan 490

Blog Guy, I know you love animals.

I’m thinking of becoming vegan. I’ve read that Ellen Degeneres and her spouse Portia de Rossi are both vegans. Is that right?

vegan guy vertical 220I don’t believe so. Look at their necks.

Excuse me? Their necks?

Yes. You can clearly see they don’t have VEGAN tattooed on their necks, which of course is how you normally spot a vegan. Like this guy on the right. Now HE’S a vegan.

See, when you walk around town and spot folks in neckscarves or turtleneck sweaters, you should presume they are usually secret vegans. There are lots of them.

I had no idea. This is all new to me. So like, why do people become vegans instead of vegetarians?

Simple. The short five-letter tattoo is much less painful.

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Top: Comedian Ellen Degeneres (L) and actress Portia de Rossi pose backstage after Degeneres won the award for Favorite Talk Show Host at the 35th annual People’s Choice awards in Los Angeles, January 7, 2009. REUTERS/Phil McCarten

Right: Animal rights activist Walter Bond is pictured in this police mug shot released July 23, 2010. Bond was ordered held without bond after federal prosecutors charged him on Friday with an arson fire that destroyed a suburban Denver sheepskin business in April. REUTERS/Glendale Police Department/Handout

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Posted by Tweets that mention Check the neck, I don’t eat meat… | Analysis & Opinion | — | Report as abusive

You know… the little experience I have had with tattooing… I am sure that hurt pretty bad… ouch!
The tattoos are pretty nice… Is it just me or does the guy look odd with these good tattoos?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I’m with you on that, Shra. No needles on my neck!

If he could just cut his clothes down the middle and stitch them back together using unmatched halves, it might work! Like one of the old Mad Magazine fold outs: himself on one side, his veganself on the other.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I don’t understand why he was not charged with terrorism. The use of violence to intimidate people into changing beliefs, thoughts, behavior, etc. is terrorism.

Sorry for being serious, but bullies and terrorists get my goat.

Someone please pass a medi-donut. STAT.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

So Dave, it is now your policy to mention goat in every comment?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

It’s not considered terrorism Dave because who is really gonna be afraid of a dude with “vegan” tattooed on his neck? The receding…sorry receded… hairline doesn’t help in the intimidation department either. I mean setting fires and stuff is by all means wrong but at worst I am sure people feel pretty annoyed, but not terrified.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Dave, I’m with you on this. Perhaps it’s just that many tatoos and the pain suffered in getting them made him go all batty?? I mean, I’ve seen the insanity plea being used in less believable cases…

Medidoughnuts to go, please… many, many, many of them… Like a pile!! da dada da dada da da…

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Seriously, that doodle on his face is a tattoo? It looks more like a talented 14yo got loose with a Sharpie(R).

Posted by BethyB | Report as abusive

Dave: am sure the OE gang would send you an entire box of medi-donuts with extra sprinkles!

BG, Dave said they got his goat! Now it will be chicken for sure every night.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Where is Mr.Pilot!? What have you done with him, Basler?
And what have you done with E?
Tell me now! Or else, I will find ways to get you to talk… my dark OSU powers would surface!! And you so dont want me to use them! Mwahha ha ha ha ha ha!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Obviously he’s a tool judging by the wrenches on his neck.

What a horrible pic of Ellen & Portia! I guess Ellen doesn’t use the Olay products that much or she wouldn’t have those massive crow’s feet. She forgot to tell Portia about Olay as well because she has under-eye bags the size of Texas!

More flattering choices next time BG!


Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

Crow’s feet are hell on carpet. You must have different photos than I do, Mama. I just have head shots. If BG, shows shoes, how will you see the crow’s feet?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

For the record, I have learned nothing on this blog. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. I did not learn anything, any statements to the contrary were made under duress, nobody saw me, you can’t prove a thing.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

My name is Bond, Walter, Walter Bond. How unbondlike. Am I alone in finding it funny that the court ordered no bond for Bond?

For those interested, Eric Hoffer’s “The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature Of Mass Movements” discusses the psychological causes of fanaticism.

In a nutshell, Hoffer opines that fanatics are schmucks who want to feel important, so they devote themselves to a cause. Hoffer doesn’t use the word “schmuck,” but you have to read between the lines.

I would like to suggest that the bondless Bond should be Exhibit A in support of Hoffer’s thesis?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Dave, maybe it was easier to prosecute and keep the jerk (ok schmuck)in jail for arson than for terrorism.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@ Doc, That’s the point! I don’t want to see the crow’s feet. Plus Shra, the other members of the Stiletto Unit & I have been begging for more shoe shots anyway. It would’ve done Ellen & Portia a favor to have a H to T shot since it wouldn’t be so close on their faces.

@ Unca: My 7 year old daughter tells me she’s a meatatarian, but she does eat the occassional corn on the cob and lots of fruit.

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

I’m omnivorous! And proud of it!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

A vegan with a double chin ? No way. He’s secretly snacking on lard.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Are doughnuts vegan? As long as they’re cooked in vegetable oil? Pepperoni glazed w/colored Prozac sprinkles for the lot of you! 😉

@Shra … Do you think we’ve scared E and ifly off? NAAAHHH.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

I wasn’t scared off CAM… I was just out hunting the elusive Orlando Bloom. He ain’t gonna get away with what he did.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

He is still obsessing over Miranda Kerr…. (sigghhh)….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Justice must be served! Honor must be restored! Wrongs must be righted! Avenging must be avengenated! The button must be pushed ever 108 minutes! The first rule of fight club is no one talks about fight club! There is no crying in baseball! Old McDonald had a farm….

Ohhhh look.. sprinkles! Tee hee hee…

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I like vegans, but I can never eat a whole one.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive


You might have won the battle Mr. Bloom but the war shall be mine. I shall bide my time but always be wary of what might lurk in the shadows. And no, I don’t mean ninjas. Although that would be awesome.

Ok Spin, how about some extra sprinkles?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Would sprinkles make brussel sprouts any more appealing?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Nosmo … Classic, LOL! With a nice chianti?

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Eh, I don’t need farts prepackaged I do well enough producing my own.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I should refrain from reading the other comments on the blog… before anything else in the morning… this is just terrible…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive