Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Majestic swan or Mafia thug? You decide!
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Blog Guy, I know you study organized crime. What’s this I hear about an upstart gang moving in on the rackets?
That would be the Swan Gang. Very nasty. Don’t mess with them.
Swans? Those magnificent birds? But they’re beautiful!
Not when they’re in your face threatening to burn down your linen supply business. Look at this undercover police photo of their godfather, Swan Corleone, intimidating folks at Swan Lake.
According to the police transcript he’s saying, “That’s a nice beach bag, lady. Be a shame if something happened to it.”
You should see them swanning around with their porkpie hats, big cigars and flashy gold cygnet rings. There’s a reason the cops now refer to “Swan’s way.”
Don’t you mean signet rings? Wait, I get it, Blog Guy. A cygnet is a young swan. And “Swann’s Way” is a classic book by Marcel Proust. This is just more of your sophomoric word play, which your readers will then try to top, right?
I don’t see it as sophomoric word play. I’d say it’s swan-upsmanship.
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A woman looks at a swan passing by at the Alte Donau in front of the Vienna International Center in Vienna July 13, 2010. REUTERS/Herwig Prammer
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It was a relaxing summer day, children playing, scantily clad people soaking up the sun…all was bright and cheerful…until a dark shadow was cast over all…
Sunbathers were left in pieces, their tattered limbs hanging from nearby trees…their belongings scattered and floating in the water…a gruesome scene of chaos and destruction…all in the wake of Swanzilla…
Yikes! An Austrian swan! The current mafia are decedents of the goose-stepping Schwan-Sturmpolizisten of WWII.
You don’t want to mess with their enforcer, Swanee. One unfortunate soul ribbed Swanee in public. Then came the cement overshoes, and the word came down: “Weigh down on the Swanee ribber!”
There are many deep, deep Alpine lakes in Austria where things and people have never been recovered. For example, it is rumoured that the Schwan-Sturmpolizisten hid secret Nazi documents in Lake Toplitz, and guard them to this day. You can read all about it in “Swan Lake”….
http://www.google.com/images?rlz=1T4ADFA _enUS338US338&q=toplitzsee&um=1&ie=UTF-8 &source=univ&ei=DNtaTLrxO8iAnQeAmoHcAw&s a=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnu m=4&ved=0CDMQsAQwAw&biw=1579&bih=634
DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE?
Ah, this takes me back to my youth in counter-intelligence in war-torn Vienna. You recall, Bob, how one recollected fact led Proust onto more recollections, resulting in Proust’s 7-volume “Remembrance of Things Past.” So….
Volume I
Chapter the First
There I was
NO! NOT ON MY BIRTHDAY YOU DON’T!
Go ahead, Doc! Let it be your swan song!
It’s always swanthing or another. Just the hints they leave on the lawn are intimidating enough. Take my beach bag, just leave the shoes! Ech, I think I stepped in one of their hints. Even the radio has been corrupted and is playing their swan song to sign off at night.
But, Bob, my Memoir will expose the “Swan Conspiracy.” Think of it. The setting: the swan secret headquarters in Bavaria — Hohenschwangau and Neuschwanstein. King Ludwig II was mad, they say, because he intereferred with the Swans, and the Swans SAID he was mad. Then, King Ludwig II was mysteriously found dead, floating in the Starnbergersee. Hah! HA! HA!
Read T.S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land.” Eliot knew! And where is he now? Tchaikovsky’s “Swan Lake”? He knew, and where is he now. I don’t know, but wherever it is, I bet it doesn’t smell too good.
This is a conspiracy involving America’s founding fathers! It permeates the very fabric of contemporary American society!
Look at the American dollar bill! What do you see? Washington! Yes, Washington! A virtual anagram for “SWAN GO HINT”! What more do you need? Don’t be a pigeon, Bob. Publish my Memoir, “Conspiracy A Go Go.”
Oh, and, by the way, while you’re at it, can you loan me a dollar and buy me a drink?
And what about Aldous Huxley. He had the temerity to write the novel “After Many a Summer Dies the Swan.” A threat if there ever was one. The action at the center of that novel is a character sorting through a set of secret papers, the Hauberk Papers. An anagram for the “Hauberk Papers” is “Up Sharp Beaker”! Of course, Huxley is no longer among the living! He died on November 22, 1963.
Ring a bell? That is the same day John F. Kennedy was assasinated! And the same day C.S. Lewis died. Nota bene: “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” is NOT titled “The Swan, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”!
Those who defy the swans do so at their peril!
Hmm – taste like Goat. No, wait, chicken!
I think he looks swan-ky.
==Bob
Swan in a million.
In the words of the bard, this is murder most fowl.
Is that swan conveniently covering up the naughty parts of the guy lying there who it would appear has forgotten to put on his trunks as they are still lying there on the bag?
And they all need to work on their tans. They are so very very white. (It’s not racist cause I to am so very very white!)
oo! Mr.Pilot… that is a good observation, I must say….
Spin, I like Swan in a million…
Very nice swan.
Another variation of the white bars! Boy, does that ruffle my feathers.
In WWII, the Swastica was originally the Swanstica, but it was felt that gave away the Swans’ secret organization, to the -nth degree.
Unca, there is even a poem about the Swan Don, Leda and the Swan. Well, that turned out badly….
Last night, since I was in the spirit of things, and to celebrate Bob’s birthday, I went to The Flying Swan, a pub. It was a dive. But the cut-out of Bob seemed to enjoy the cut-out of 18-year-old Laphroaig I gave him. Personally, I found it a little flat. But Bob just kept smiling, with that enigmatic smile we all love. But, I gotta say, it got a little creepy after an hour or so.
That reminds me, I need to get Bob out of my trunk.
Unca, I bet they made a crown roast.
Dammit, it’s dark in here! Where am I. I’m all twisted up, and it’s dark, and it smells like gasoline! Let me out of here! Hey, wait. Some Laphroaig. Well, this is okay….
I never tire of you Unca!
Oooooh Onedoor, the new white bars! Now in customs shapes to distract you from realising you can’t actually see the naughty parts!
Hmm… if the swan shows up in the next VS blog I will be highly suspicious.
Whenever the next VS blog is gonna be that is.
There he goes on about the VS blog again…
Hey now I think us guys are welcome to a VS blog every now and then are we not? You got your shoes and some bummy bum bums after all.
And I didn’t mention anything about…..her…..so you have to give me credit for that!
Awww!!! Are you not going to call her by her name at all now? How about Mrs.Bloom?
Jeez, that sounds like someone from the 50′s…
I would have to fight fair? Damn, that’s a bummer.
What would be your MO to carry out the operation Unca? Mr. Snipey, Mr. Shotty, Mr. M1A1 Abrams…y?
It might, but it sure would be fun to watch stuff go boom!
Ou swan les neiges d’antan ?
Fille de Cygne
Où sont les antres de neige de temps jadis ?
Où sont les Cygnes ?
La pagaie ils maintenant dans la neige froide éternelle font fondre des ruisseaux ?
Là, il n’y a aucun endroit qui ne fait pas à bientôt
Zap the crap out of him, Shra. Zap the both of them.
I wouldnt mind, BG… buncha show-offs!
Wait until I finish my Spanish lesson!
Vamos!!!
Go for it, girl! I love the smell of sizzling smart people in the morning….