News, but not the serious kind
Hi, we’re the Death Panel! Is now a good time?
Blog Guy, you’re the only journalist in the country who is seriously covering those Government Death Panels that Sarah Palin warned us about, which were created under health care reform. These things are evil and brutal, and I hope you get a Pulitzer for your work.
Thanks, you’re much too kind. I do consider it a major story. Did you have a question about the panels?
I sure do. Are they hiring?
Um, I believe so. I just got a glossy recruiting brochure called “Hasta la Vista, Baby,” showing the panels doing their job in innovative ways.
But I have to ask, if you think the death panels are evil and brutal, why would you want to work for them?
Well, they still seem kinder and more decent than the folks at the Department of Motor Vehicles. So could you set up a job interview for me? I’m a longtime reader of your blog.
Anything for my loyal readers. In fact, I’ve arranged for one of the Death Panels to stop by your house this afternoon, to talk to you about employment opportunities. How’s that?
Nooooooooooooooo!!!!! I live with my mother!
She just got over the flu! She still has a cold sore on her lip! They’ll see her!
Uh-oh, that’s a shame. And Mom would have been very proud to see you in that bright orange Death Panel blazer, huh?
Top: A doctor ignites dry moxa leaves in a patient’s ear during a traditional Chinese medical treatment for curing brain atrophy, at a hospital in Jinan, Shandong province, August 5, 2010. REUTERS/Stringer
Right: Paramilitary policemen take part in an anti-terrorism training session at a military base in Hefei, Anhui province, China, August 5, 2010. REUTERS/Stringer
Left: Timothy Morehouse of the U.S. (L) competes with Canada’s Vicent Couturier during the men’s fencing team saber finals at the Pan American Fencing Championships in San Jose August 7, 2010. The U.S. team won the gold medal. REUTERS/Kent