Won’t this vacation ever end?

August 13, 2010

Lately, we here at reuters.com have been offering etiquette advice for a wide variety of social situations. You may have found our tips very informative, if you were raised in the wild by wolves.

Our Dining with the boss advised not to “clank your utensils loudly against your teeth,” while our tips on Summer dress etiquette said if you plan to wear sandals to work, “be sure your feet look and smell appropriate for business…”


If advice like that is news to you, congratulations. You may already be on Death Row.

So it was with some relief that I just read our latest installment, etiquette on vacation.

Finally, some useful information! This piece is so chock-full of savvy advice that I’ve distilled it into a quiz. Each correct answer uses the very words from the etiquette column.

Here goes, and good luck:

GERMANY1. When consuming alcohol on airplanes, you should…

a) drink until you barf and become comatose.

b) drink in moderation.

2. While gathering  your belongings prior to leaving the plane, you should…

a) slam old folks and short people against the bulkhead so you can get to your overhead luggage first.

b) help the elderly (or those of diminutive stature) to remove luggage in overhead compartments.

3. When consuming alcohol at your hotel bar, you should…

a) drink until you become violent and need to be restrained.

b) avoid raucous or drunken behavior.

AUSTRALIA-SUNBATHING/4. If you’re at a beach resort…

a) Women should whip off their bikini top as soon as they hit the hotel reception desk.

b) topless bathing should be saved for deserted or remote beaches.

5. And guys, if you do see women sunbathing topless on the beach….

a) giggle, make grunting animal sounds, and shout “Honey, will you marry me?”

b) never stare or ogle at fellow sunbathers.

There you have it. All of the correct answers are b) but these were tough, so there is no shame if you missed a couple.

It does take time to absorb these details, but it all boils down to: If you like to have more than one drink, don’t take a vacation, and if you see something attractive on the beach, don’t look at it.

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Top: Tourists use umbrellas to shade themselves from the sun as they visit Rome’s ancient Colosseum during a hot summer day in Rome July 21, 2010. REUTERS/Alessia Pierdomenico

Left: Two stewardesses of German airline Lufthansa, wearing traditional Bavarian Dirndl dresses, serve up a drink to a passenger inside an airplane during a presentation at Munich’s international airport in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Alexandra Beier

Right: A topless sunbather enjoys a sunny morning at the Bondi Beach area of Sydney, December 30, 2008. REUTERS/Daniel Munoz

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Little Miss Random?

Posted by Billl | Report as abusive

You know I’m not allowed to divulge that, Bill….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

And what about guys sun-bathing? Any restrictions on ogling at them?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You know what BG’s advice would be on that, Spin… HE is the man!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

If I see *something* attractive on the beach I should not look at *it*? I am a bit skeptical as to what *it* might be that I would find attractive.

@Spin, if you go to the beach and the women are not willing to flash then you should not find what you see on tv to be very accurate.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Wow my comment got edited! I guess I have earned a step up from being regulated straight to the spam basket! I feel so honored! And honoured also! :D My apologies though as I did forget for a second about the “family blog” rating here.

Spin…it’s long been proven that not everything you see on TV is true. I mean just look at The Jersey Shore. Those are not even real people! However no one is going to make stuff up on the internet right? Everything is completely serious and can be taken at face value. Especially when reporting the news, even if it seems odd.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I am automatically suspicious of everything I see on television or the Internet. I’ve read that there are studies indicating that most Americans tend to automatically believe something they see on the Internet. But I read that on the Internet.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I only believe in doughnuts (and slushies!) :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

69Spinster, I want to vacation with YOU!

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

slushies or slurpees? That is the question of world importance

Posted by ochoo | Report as abusive

Does the OESU get to request a nice photo of men at the beach now? I’ll try not to look if you post it:)

Unca: avoid the waxy buildup. Quit dusting and tell your friends you are protecting your valuable tables from harmful UV rays with the coating of dust.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

You are verrrrrrrrrrrrrry welcome Spin…. :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

In my world etiquette at work depends on your job and etiquette on vacation very much depends on your vacation.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

“I am a bit skeptical as to what *it* might be that I would find attractive.”

Jellyfish ?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

One, how about semi-naked guys… Ok, naked guys with an excuse of a swimming trunk…

OK, I realise this is a family blog and I should refrain from making such comments.
Please excuse me while I take my meddies…
Oh,Doc Hot-pants.. wait up!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Of course I am!!!! OSU, hit the beaches!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You are gonna hit the beaches in stilettos? Hmm..good luck to ya on that. :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

So the OSU is going to be lounging on the boardwalk in their stilettos and swimsuits.

Um, what beach are you going to? :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

That is something you may just have to find out… ;)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

[...] the latest installment of our series, “Etiquette Tips for the Totally Clueless,” we provide advice on The art of cross-cultural gift-giving,” or as I would put it, [...]

[...] the latest installment of our series, “Etiquette Tips for the Totally Clueless,” we provide advice on The art of cross-cultural gift-giving,” or as I would put it, [...]

[...] news. We have another one of those serious etiquette columns that appear to be aimed at folks who were raised by neanderthals. Early neanderthals, not the more [...]