Won’t this vacation ever end?
Lately, we here at reuters.com have been offering etiquette advice for a wide variety of social situations. You may have found our tips very informative, if you were raised in the wild by wolves.
Our Dining with the boss advised not to “clank your utensils loudly against your teeth,” while our tips on Summer dress etiquette said if you plan to wear sandals to work, “be sure your feet look and smell appropriate for business…”
If advice like that is news to you, congratulations. You may already be on Death Row.
So it was with some relief that I just read our latest installment, etiquette on vacation.
Finally, some useful information! This piece is so chock-full of savvy advice that I’ve distilled it into a quiz. Each correct answer uses the very words from the etiquette column.
Here goes, and good luck:
1. When consuming alcohol on airplanes, you should…
a) drink until you barf and become comatose.
b) drink in moderation.
2. While gathering your belongings prior to leaving the plane, you should…
a) slam old folks and short people against the bulkhead so you can get to your overhead luggage first.
b) help the elderly (or those of diminutive stature) to remove luggage in overhead compartments.
3. When consuming alcohol at your hotel bar, you should…
a) drink until you become violent and need to be restrained.
b) avoid raucous or drunken behavior.
4. If you’re at a beach resort…
a) Women should whip off their bikini top as soon as they hit the hotel reception desk.
b) topless bathing should be saved for deserted or remote beaches.
5. And guys, if you do see women sunbathing topless on the beach….
a) giggle, make grunting animal sounds, and shout “Honey, will you marry me?”
b) never stare or ogle at fellow sunbathers.
There you have it. All of the correct answers are b) but these were tough, so there is no shame if you missed a couple.
It does take time to absorb these details, but it all boils down to: If you like to have more than one drink, don’t take a vacation, and if you see something attractive on the beach, don’t look at it.
Top: Tourists use umbrellas to shade themselves from the sun as they visit Rome’s ancient Colosseum during a hot summer day in Rome July 21, 2010. REUTERS/Alessia Pierdomenico
Left: Two stewardesses of German airline Lufthansa, wearing traditional Bavarian Dirndl dresses, serve up a drink to a passenger inside an airplane during a presentation at Munich’s international airport in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Alexandra Beier
Right: A topless sunbather enjoys a sunny morning at the Bondi Beach area of Sydney, December 30, 2008. REUTERS/Daniel Munoz