Stand up for our National Costume!
Welcome to one of the stupider aspects of the Miss Universe Pageant. It turns out every contestant must pose in her “national costume.”
I’m sure the Pageant folks did their research, but I have to doubt the authenticity of some of these outfits, which seem more like “national stereotypes.”
Take the photo above. Miss USA in her “national costume” of gold metallic feathers, tight-fitting lamé and platform sandals.
First-off, we all know our “national costume” was outlawed here on safety grounds about 40 years ago, exactly the time ceiling fans became popular.
I just reminded my wife that her “national costume” is gathering dust in our closet and it might be nice if she wore it again. She’s still laughing, and pointing out stuff she wants from the Tiffany catalog.
And look here at the Pageant’s idea of Italy’s “national costume.”
That’s right, it turns out Italian women, among the most stylish in the world, prefer to go around dressed as Roman gladiators.
The Italian chicks are lucky compared with those in Zambia, who it seems even in 2010 are still dressing in a “national costume” made from gourds.
Ironically, it appears the Zambians DO have access to actual fabric, but instead of making a dress, all they could do was turn it into a sash and write “Zambia” on it.
Perhaps most familiar to Americans is Miss Nicaragua’s “national costume,” here on the left.
It looks familiar, right? It should. It’s from a classic sitcom episode. Come on, think! Here’s a hint:
“Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!”
“But all I did was hit the real dancer with a lug wrench, take her costume and then go out onstage at the Tropicana during the wrong number and give your boss a heart attack!
“Oh Ricky, I just wanted to be in the show!”
Miss USA Rima Fakih poses in her national costume at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vega, August 16, 2010.
Miss Italy Jessica Cecchini poses in her national costume.
Miss Zambia 2010 Alice Musukwa poses during the Miss Universe national costume event.
Miss Nicaragua Scharllette Allen Moses poses in her national costume.
REUTERS photos by Patrick Prather/Miss Universe Organization LP, LLLP/Handout