Stand up for our National Costume!

August 20, 2010

USA/

Welcome to one of the stupider aspects of the Miss Universe Pageant. It turns out every contestant must pose in her “national costume.”

USA/I’m sure the Pageant folks did their research, but I have to doubt the authenticity of some of these outfits, which seem more like “national stereotypes.”

Take the photo above. Miss USA in her “national costume” of gold metallic feathers, tight-fitting lamé and platform sandals.

First-off, we all know our “national costume” was outlawed here on safety grounds about 40 years ago, exactly the time ceiling fans became popular.

I just reminded my wife that her “national costume” is gathering dust in our closet and it might be nice if she wore it again. She’s still laughing, and pointing out stuff she wants from the Tiffany catalog.

universe zambia 280And look here at the Pageant’s idea of Italy’s “national costume.”

That’s right, it turns out Italian women, among the most stylish in the world, prefer to go around dressed as Roman gladiators.

The Italian chicks are lucky compared with those in Zambia, who it seems even in 2010 are still dressing in a “national costume” made from gourds.

Ironically, it appears the Zambians DO have access to actual fabric, but instead of making a dress, all they could do was turn it into a sash and write “Zambia” on it.

USA/Perhaps most familiar to Americans is Miss Nicaragua’s “national costume,” here on the left.

It looks familiar, right? It should. It’s from a classic sitcom episode. Come on, think! Here’s a hint:

Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!”

“But all I did was hit the real dancer with a lug wrench, take her costume and then go out onstage at the Tropicana during the wrong number and give your boss a heart attack!

“Oh Ricky, I just wanted to be in the show!”

Miss Universe “national costume” slideshow

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Miss USA Rima Fakih poses in her national costume at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vega, August 16, 2010.

Miss Italy Jessica Cecchini poses in her national costume.

Miss Zambia 2010 Alice Musukwa poses during the Miss Universe national costume event.

Miss Nicaragua Scharllette Allen Moses poses in her national costume.

REUTERS photos by Patrick Prather/Miss Universe Organization LP, LLLP/Handout

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31 comments

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BTW, readers, I have heard privately from Shra and CrowGirl that they will be away this weekend, on a super-secret mission. If anybody asks, you’ve never heard of either of them.

And of course you’ve never heard of me, but just about everybody can say that.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Thanks, Spin. Actually it’s no at 15,500, and Reuters is already planning my 20,000 bash, expected sometime in November….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Based on my family and friends, I would have sworn the national costume was jeans and a t-shirt with a suggestive, rude, or incomprehensible to anyone outside that subculture comment on it … who knew?

I’m sure my son will totally rock those shoes. Currently he just curses when he finds out we accidentally wear our nearly-matching t-shirts on the same day. Mine says “Don’t make me get my flying monkeys” and his says “It’s all fun and games until the flying monkeys arrive”. Aren’t we sweet?

Posted by BethyB | Report as abusive

Gladiator stilettos…HOORAY!

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

Yes.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

All I can think of is Canadian bacon for Miss Canada? She wouldn’t have to worry about the other contestants eating her costume. They had a tic tac for breakfast, thank you.

Posted by JohnZNYC | Report as abusive

Too early to say, Spin. Doc’s would be great, but there’s also Dave’s cave, CrowGirl’s outdoor work area, and I believe Shra is trying to reserve Holyrood Palace for us. Watch this space.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

BG, I’m loving it! The shoes, the shiny things, the swords, and spears! Whoe else noticed the weapons?!

Spin, My vote is body tape for the gourd afixing. But that is just after a few years of stage make-up and costuming. (its the easist to get off and least messy)

Posted by PetPunkRock | Report as abusive

Now you see, if this was the National Superhero Costume competition, these outfits would make more sense.
The first one could be Harpie-Angel, she will make you wither away with her extreme high-maintenance whining. The second one could be Gladiatrix – yeah, just try telling her you’re ‘just not that into her’, you’ll soon get the point.
The third one could be Gourdiliah – the wily mistress of anti-gravity potions and incantations.
The fourth one – OK, well, nah I got nothing. Even Liberace wouldn’t have worn something that idiotic.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

It’s a good thing USA’s costume was not modeled after the bald eagle.

In any case she is looking quite yummy! :)

15,500 followers you say Mr. B.? Yet only a handful of loyal commenters. I think that should get us dibs on the top shelf liquor at the bash! Oh yeah! :)

Oh wait sorry…. Mr. B. who?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I think Baz should host a “commenters only” bash first. I nominate my office, which looks out on an 8+ story building about to be BOOOMED! They fenced the grounds off today. I have goosebumps!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I think Ms Zambia is a little lopsided.
Or maybe it’s just a shadow…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@Doc.. please please please take video or pics of the building that go boom!!! :D

@Unca… thank goodness for poetic license then huh? Or whatever the equivalent is for national costumes.

@Spin.. as loyal commenters we should not have to send in the OSU to get the top shelf stuff! Mr. B. should have it ready and reserved for us!

Not that I know who this “Mr. B.” is though of course. I have only heard rumors that he actually exists.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

If someone told me they wanted me to wear gourds, I’d have to squash that idea.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I once thught about asking my wife to wear a squash outfit, and then I thought butternut. I’m more interested in revealing attire made from potato sacks. 8=

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Ok, I can deal with Miss USA looking like she made a wrong turn on a Victoria’s Secret runway; the gladiator, the weapons, the gourds. But has anyone noticed the sign behind them? Is a lifetime achievement award going to a blow dryer? I am sure I have the IQ of a blow dryer and I never got an award.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I noticed the same thing, One. Is that where we’ve come with cheesy product placement? You may be hearing more on this…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Cheez Whiz, BG! You noticed I have the IQ of a blow dryer, too! LOL! Am looking forward to hearing more about product placement.

On second thought, it could be a political thing. The blow dryer essentially shoots out a lot of hot air (though it can blow hot or cold) and it has to be pointed in the right direction by it’s supporters.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Wonder if the Zambia costume comes in different gourd sizes?

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

I love the shoes!!!!!!!!!
Mr.Pilot… stop drooling…
Mr.B! I zee back!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Of course the lifetime achievement award is going to a blow dryer… have you seen Justin Biebers hair? It’s takes a lot of talent to keep it looking like a mop!

Can’t help it Shra, it’s an involuntary reflex.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I love the Lucy reference

Posted by Calypso | Report as abusive

Spin, there’s just something about the feel and smell of dusty burlap next to your skin….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

When you grow up on a potato farm, you learn to love burlap.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Ha – Bethy, I have both those t-shirts!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I grew up drinking more of Pepsi than Coke… Now I drink more of Coke than Pepsi… Life is sooo complicated!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, you remind me of this quotation: “Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.” -Sir Winston Churchill.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Spin, did you get the “have a Coke and a smile” from Eddie Murphy impersonating Richard Pryor giving advice to Eddie Murphy after Bill Cosby yelled at him for cursing on stage?

Cause that was a funny skit! :D

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Just what do you mean to say, Doc? What do you think I lack? Brains or a heart? Huh? HUH!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Anyone who doesn’t drink Pepsi as a child has no heart; anyone who doesn’t drink Code as an adult has no brains. So, Shra, you have both a heart and brains! (ta-da!)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I’m sorry Doc, you have it wrong. It’s “Anyone who drinks Coke or Pepsi as a child has no teeth….”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive