News, but not the serious kind
How drunk do you have to BE, Lamar?
So Doc, tell me. How did the operation go to remove that cyst? I feel great!
Well Lamar, surprisingly it wasn’t a cyst at all. It was a bullet, lodged right there in your head, I’d say for five or six years. You’ve been carrying it around all this time.
A bullet, huh? I’ll be! I guess that would be from a New Year’s Eve party.
What? How do you know that, Lamar?
Oh, every New Year’s Eve my relatives and I bring our guns to a party and get really, really drunk and shoot at each other.
It’s, you know, a family tradition. I’ll bet it was a 9 mm bullet, am I right? That darned cousin Ted!
No Lamar, it wasn’t a 9 mm.
Hmmmm. A .38 caliber then? Why, when I get hold of my sister, Susie!
It wasn’t a .38 caliber either, Lamar. It was a .22 caliber.
No way! It must have been one of Susie’s little twins, Lonnie and Bonnie! Those rascals! They KNOW head shots are against the rules, but I guess when you’re shooting from a high chair….
Lamar, this is incredible! As your doctor I need to ask, how drunk do you have to BE to forget something like this happening to you?
Something like what, Doc?
Right: An X-ray released by German police August 24, 2010, shows a bullet lodged in the back of the head of a man. REUTERS/Bochum Police/handout
Left: Poles drink champagne at Warsaw’s old town square, during a street party January 1, 1999, as fireworks light up the sky. REUTERS