How drunk do you have to BE, Lamar?

August 25, 2010

So Doc, tell me. How did the operation go to remove that cyst? I feel great!

ODD-GERMANY/BULLETWell Lamar, surprisingly it wasn’t a cyst at all. It was a bullet, lodged right there in your head, I’d say for five or six years. You’ve been carrying it around all this time.

A bullet, huh? I’ll be! I guess that would be from a New Year’s Eve party.

What? How do you know that, Lamar?

Oh, every New Year’s Eve my relatives and I bring our guns to a party and get really, really drunk and shoot at each other.

It’s, you know, a family tradition. I’ll bet it was a 9 mm bullet, am I right? That darned cousin Ted!

POLAND NEW YEARNo Lamar, it wasn’t a 9 mm.

Hmmmm. A .38 caliber then? Why, when I get hold of my sister, Susie!

It wasn’t a .38 caliber either, Lamar. It was a .22 caliber.

No way! It must have been one of Susie’s little twins, Lonnie and Bonnie! Those rascals! They KNOW head shots are against the rules, but I guess when you’re shooting from a high chair….

Lamar, this is incredible! As your doctor I need to ask, how drunk do you have to BE to forget something like this happening to you?

Something like what, Doc?

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Right: An X-ray released by German police August 24, 2010, shows a bullet lodged in the back of the head of a man. REUTERS/Bochum Police/handout

Left: Poles drink champagne at Warsaw’s old town square, during a street party January 1, 1999, as fireworks light up the sky. REUTERS

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16 comments

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Are theose really wireforks? Uhh… I mean fireworks!
And I have been mean drunk only once up until now… greaaaaaaaaat feeling… but I remember EVERYTHING… is that is how it is supposed to be?

Lamar and me are such opposites…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I just hate it when that happens. It’s like a bad song that gets stuck in your head and you can’t get it out.
I’ll be he was listening to Guns N’ Roses. Maybe .38 Special.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Drunken boxing is my second favorite martial arts style. If anyone is interested in seeing Jackie Chan attempting to act like a degenerate tough guy bully go rent “Drunken Master”. It’s a laugh!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

What an airhead! Good thing that bullet didn’t make it any further or his head would’ve deflated.

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

lol@Homer x-ray!

Posted by mrchap402 | Report as abusive

It’s a bullet? Oh good. I thought it was an alien implantation story…

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

I think the bullet may have impacted Lamar’s editing of your headline Bas. I’d shoot him again on the other side of the brain to even stuff out a little.

Posted by onequartlow | Report as abusive

You’re absolutely right, onequart. I’ve fixed it.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Maybe just shoot him on the other side and hope for better penetration?
On second thought, never mind. The world would be a lot more boring without the Lamars in it.

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

OK, that fireworks photo.
It has a guy pouring champagne into a glass, held by a grey-gloved hand that appears to be emerging out of the back of a woman’s head.
And you thought Lamar had issues with a teeny bullet stuck in his skull. Try explaining how you have a whole other person stuck in there.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@Spin – digital x-ray has a lot to answer for.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Herr Homer was taking in der new year while noshing on BG’s medidoughnut with sprinkles.

Posted by ochoo | Report as abusive

Naaah it an emergency reponder beacon and GPS locator lamars wife was really wondering why it took 2 weeks when he said he was going out for a brats the year before

Posted by ochoo | Report as abusive

I saw a white trilby the other day and I was really tempted to buy it…. should I? Shouldnt I?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Doc, you have a post dedicated to you!!! No one noticed that even after 17 comments!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Some drunk I’d say.. :O

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive