News, but not the serious kind
Good to the last droppings?
Okay gang, we’ve gotta find a way to distinguish our brand of coffee from all the others. You know, like it’s grown on misty Blue Mountain, or in the intoxicating sea breezes of Hawaii, or some poetry like that.
Boss, why don’t we go more in the direction those guys in Asia took? You know, “We make our coffee from half-digested cherries found in the poop of wild civets.”
Are you out of your freaking mind, Lamar? How much are people going to pay for coffee made from wild animal poop?
Well, right now it’s going for as much as $350 a pound in London, Boss.
Yikes! Okay Lamar, but the ONLY way that works is for the news media to do the heavy lifting.
They would have to cover the hell out of it, to create a market. Journalists aren’t pushovers. We can’t just punch a button that says Poop Coffee Publicity.
Yes we can, Boss. Writers LOVE the chance to be clever. For instance, some journalists dubbed this stuff crappucino.
Hmmm. Maybe they’ll write about it once, but will they KEEP covering it?
All I can say, Boss, is Reuters just did a story this week. I searched, and since 2007 they’ve put out a bunch of stories, 19 pictures and two video reports on Civet Poop Coffee.
Okay Lamar, so we can count on regular journalists, but what about the blogs? Like that guy who does that Odd Blog, HE wouldn’t fall for something this cheesy.
That dimwit who wrote Waiter, there’s poo in my brew?
But he won’t write about it again, will he?
You give him too much credit, Boss. He will if he can think of a good headline.
A palm civet eats Arabica coffee cherries in a coffee plantation owned by state plantation firm PT Perkebunan Nusantara XII, in Situbondo in Indonesia’s East Java province August 4, 2010. The fruit is fed to caged civets and their droppings collected. Perkebunan Nusantara XII sells the civet coffee for $130 a kg from factories or $250 a kg in cafes on Indonesia’s main island of Java, though the price multiplies as exports reach countries such as Korea, Japan, Italy and the United States. Picture taken August 4, 2010. REUTERS/Sigit Pamungkas
A waitress shows packs of Luwak coffe at a cafe in a shopping mall in Jakarta May 17, 2007. Kopi Luwak, made in Indonesia from coffee beans excreted by native civet cats, is reputedly the world’s rarest and most expensive coffee, painstakingly extracted by hand from the animal’s forest droppings. REUTERS/Dadang Tri