Good to the last droppings?

August 28, 2010

Okay gang, we’ve gotta find a way to distinguish our brand of coffee from all the others. You know, like it’s grown on misty Blue Mountain, or in the intoxicating sea breezes of Hawaii, or some poetry like that.

Boss, why don’t we go more in the direction those guys in Asia took? You know, “We make our coffee from half-digested cherries found in the poop of wild civets.”


Are you out of your freaking mind, Lamar? How much are people going to pay for coffee made from wild animal poop?

Well, right now it’s going for as much as $350 a pound in London, Boss.

AUSTRALIA-COFFEE/Yikes! Okay Lamar, but the ONLY way that works is for the news media to do the heavy lifting.

They would have to cover the hell out of it, to create a market. Journalists aren’t pushovers. We can’t just punch a button that says Poop Coffee Publicity.

Yes we can, Boss. Writers LOVE the chance to be clever. For instance, some journalists dubbed this stuff crappucino.

Hmmm. Maybe they’ll write about it once, but will they KEEP covering it?

All I can say, Boss, is Reuters just did a story this week. I searched, and since 2007 they’ve put out a bunch of stories, 19 pictures and two video reports on Civet Poop Coffee.

Okay Lamar, so we can count on regular journalists, but what about the blogs? Like that guy who does that Odd Blog, HE wouldn’t fall for something this cheesy.

That dimwit who wrote Waiter, there’s poo in my brew?

But he won’t write about it again, will he?

You give him too much credit, Boss. He will if he can think of a good headline.

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A palm civet eats Arabica coffee cherries in a coffee plantation owned by state plantation firm PT Perkebunan Nusantara XII, in Situbondo in Indonesia’s East Java province August 4, 2010. The fruit is fed to caged civets and their droppings collected. Perkebunan Nusantara XII sells the civet coffee for $130 a kg from factories or $250 a kg in cafes on Indonesia’s main island of Java, though the price multiplies as exports reach countries such as Korea, Japan, Italy and the United States. Picture taken August 4, 2010. REUTERS/Sigit Pamungkas

A waitress shows packs of Luwak coffe at a cafe in a shopping mall in Jakarta May 17, 2007. Kopi Luwak, made in Indonesia from coffee beans excreted by native civet cats, is reputedly the world’s rarest and most expensive coffee, painstakingly extracted by hand from the animal’s forest droppings.  REUTERS/Dadang Tri

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It’s my civet duty to drop what I am doing and warn my friends not to eat what appear to be chocolate covered coffee beans unless they take a good luwak first.

Ah, Luwak coffee, also good to the last drop. NOT!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Its not coffee! Its Poop!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
No good!!
Doc, I hope you finished your coffee… if not..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Thanks BG. Just in time for the morning brew.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Jeez. makes me wonder if I’m missing the boat when I eat corn!!

Posted by lceel | Report as abusive

Hey Boss, got me thinking. How the crap are the beans harvested, and, with the going rate of $350lb, where do I sign up?

Posted by rwwells | Report as abusive

Talk about a crappy job! I guess I won’t complain about mine anymore.

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

Now that’s the crappiest coffee I’ve ever seen!

Posted by kgolden1 | Report as abusive

Yes he did come up with a good headline and yes he did write about it again.

@lceel…thanks for ruining corn for me. I will never look at a box of Orville Rednbacher the same again. :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

What if all of the OE commenters started our own coffee company – instead of civets, WE could just eat the cherries and let Lamar sift through our poop for the ‘gold’… kinda like he does for Mr. B. 😉

I think Oddly Enough “Cream of the Crap” Coffee Blend has a nice ring to it, don’t you?

Excellent headline, Mr. B!

Posted by drgnbait | Report as abusive

Dave could get his goat in on the,uh,”coffee” project, and have a special aromatic blend to serve with the goat face tacos.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Drngbait… you are gross.. sorry.. as a fellow OEer.. you just are!

Welcome to the gang though! :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@drgnbait & Onedoor…..both excellent ideas!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Gee, the bench is looking mighty good right now. Think I’ll take a seat.

Posted by zeitgeist | Report as abusive

Interesting that there’s enough of a market for there to be caged and free range civets.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

yuck… how can you try such a thing??

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Uhh… need to ask those who actually try it… I am on the bench for the time being…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive