Everybody must get droned!
Blog Guy, I was interested in your recent post about music in Hell. You painted a nightmarish picture of nonstop accordions and bagpipes droning everywhere. Anyway, I have a question. Is there adequate parking in Hell, or do you have to spend all your time looking for a space?
“All your time” is a relative term in Hell. Taking a few centuries to find a good space isn’t going to inconvenience you in eternity, after all. Having said that, as you can see there is ample parking at most places.
Wait a minute. Who are those guys with long things in the background?
Huh? Oh, those are Swiss alphorns players. You didn’t think you’d be able to avoid the constant musical drone in Hell just by getting in your car, did you?
I’m sure at first you’ll end up running over a few alphorn players – everybody does - but of course they just get right back up and start blowing again.
No! No! No! Look, I have to get away from it! What about flying?
Of course there are flights, silly! They’re as near as Alphorn Airport. Here’s a photo, on the right.
I must remain calm. Is it possible to travel in Hell in some manner where I DON’T need to listen to alphorns?
Why didn’t you just ask that in the first place? Sure, you can take the train.
Oh, thank you! Where do I go for that?
Just follow the sound to Oktoberfest Oompah Loudspeaker Station….
Top: Alphorn maker Josef Stocker (3rd R) plays his alphorn with friends of the Alphorn Association Kriens on a public parking in the industrial area of Kriens, central Switzerland August 26, 2010. REUTERS/Michael Buholzer
Right: A spectator carries a Swiss Alpenhorn as he visits an Airbus A-380 aircraft after its first arrival at Zurich airport, January 20, 2010. REUTERS/Arnd Wiegmann