News, but not the serious kind
Ya want cuffs on those trousers?
Welcome to a very mysterious installment of our popular feature, “Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Photo Caption, but didn’t.”
The actual one-sentence caption for this photo identifies the subject as a “Rizla umbrella girl,” and says she is “posing” at some motorcycle race. That’s it, I swear.
Initially, I figured she must be a law- enforcement officer, what with her blue uniform and handcuffs.
But upon closer scrutiny, I realized that most policewomen a) wear pants of some sort and b) would gladly taser you for calling them a “girl.”
Who is she, then?
The mystery surrounding her deepens when you consider she has no head, arms or feet. Is it really a “pose” if her own mother wouldn’t recognize her?
And why are we calling her an “umbrella girl” when we can’t see an umbrella, and as far as I can tell, it’s not even raining?
Perhaps those small packets stuck in her belt are a clue. That belt must have some use, since it isn’t holding up pants.
I blew up a section of the photo, and it seems Rizla may be some sort of paper for rolling tobacco. But how many people roll their own cigarettes these days?
I went to a Rizla Website, but they wanted to know my AGE before letting me in. How old do you have to be to use an umbrella, anyway?
Uh-oh, wait. I think I may just have figured it out.
Silly me. Now even the handcuffs make sense.
A Rizla umbrella girl poses during the second practice session of the San Marino motorcycling Grand Prix at the Misano circuit, September 4, 2010. REUTERS/Max Rossi