Ya want cuffs on those trousers?

September 5, 2010

Welcome to a very mysterious installment of our popular feature, “Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Photo Caption, but didn’t.”

MOTORCYCLING-MOTOGP/The actual one-sentence caption for this photo identifies the subject as a “Rizla umbrella girl,” and says she is “posing” at some motorcycle race. That’s it, I swear.

Initially, I figured she must be a law- enforcement officer, what with her blue uniform and handcuffs.

But upon closer scrutiny, I realized that most policewomen a) wear pants of some sort and b) would gladly taser you for calling them a “girl.”

Who is she, then?

The mystery surrounding her deepens when you consider she has no head, arms or feet. Is it really a “pose” if her own mother wouldn’t recognize her?

And why are we calling her an “umbrella girl” when we can’t see an umbrella, and as far as I can tell, it’s not even raining?

rizla crop vertical 220Perhaps those small packets stuck in her belt are a clue. That belt must have some use, since it isn’t holding up pants.

I blew up a section of the photo, and it seems Rizla may be some sort of paper for rolling tobacco. But how many people roll their own cigarettes these days?

I went to a Rizla Website, but they wanted to know my AGE before letting me in. How old do you have to be to use an umbrella, anyway?

Uh-oh, wait. I think I may just have figured it out.

Silly me. Now even the handcuffs make sense.

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A Rizla umbrella girl poses during the second practice session of the San Marino motorcycling Grand Prix at the Misano circuit, September 4, 2010. REUTERS/Max Rossi

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Perhaps she didn’t want her mom to recognize the umbrella!

She may be on to something: no wet pant legs or cuffs dragging in the puddles. Then again, I may not want to speculate on this one…

… as thought police go, I am sure she inspires a lot of guys’ thoughts. I think I will bench myself for a while and get my coffee.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Obviously something unexpected happened at the first practice session of the San Marino motorcycling Grand Prix.

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

I say… “imma KWest” is in the house…. wonder if that was bat for him, BG… you know…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Say what?

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

Ok alright. I confess. I did it. Cuff and stuff me all ya want…..(please)

Bad Boy

Posted by onequartlow | Report as abusive

I feel for the poor motorcycle racers. I’d have a hard time staying focused after that first pit stop.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

LEGS!! 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

One… Makes me wonder if BG would do some more boy-toy blogs… i mean, look at the quality of pics he has of Miss Universes and umbrella girls and all that… and what do we get… !

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Say nothing, KWest.. seriously… 😀

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I must be losing it. I coulda sworn I posted a comment here Saturday. Something to do with Batman. I don’t think the spam basket filter would have anything against Batman would it? Perhaps it’s a Superman fan. Or Spider-man. That’s it, it’s probably a Spider-man fan.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Hmmm… You should post a Spiderman comment then, Mr.Pilot… seeing how you and the Spam basket both like them… 😀

BG: You better have a word with your Spam basket… not good to annoy regular commentors you know… Just saying!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You know, Unca and iFly, I had a talk with the Great Spam Basket, who has feelings even though he’s a machine.

He said it’s very easy to get comments through. He said it’s nice if they’re short, to the point and don’t involve words or innuendo that you wouldn’t expect to find in a nice blog.

He said, further, maybe you should talk to somebody like Shra or Onedoor, who have NEVER had a comment rejected for any reason, and that in fact tomorrow is Shra’s one-year anniversary as a commenter.

I’m only passing along what he said, but it makes sense to me, too.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Yes Mr. B. the Great Spam Basket has feelings and seems to feel strongly against Batman. Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t seem to favorable to it either as I learned a while back.

@Shra, I can’t make a comment about Spider-man because Spider-man does not have a utility belt like Batman which is what the comment was in reference to. Mr. B. made a comment about the belt not holding up the models pants in the pic so I wondered if the utility belt Batman wore actually held up his bat-pants. The Great Spam Basket must have thought that was too insightful of a thought.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Well, you got your point across there! :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

[…] Welcome back to a new installment of our popular feature, “Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Photo Caption, but didn’t.” […]

Posted by Relive my childhood HOW? | Oddly Enough Blog | Report as abusive

[…] Welcome back to a regular little feature we like to call, “Stuff maybe we should have mentioned in the photo caption, but didn’t.” […]

Posted by Be sure to wear some flour in your hair… | Oddly Enough Blog | Report as abusive