The glamorous world of foreign hernias

September 14, 2010


Blog Guy, thanks for the useful career advice for us recent grads. I have a batch of glossy brochures for promising careers overseas, and I’m hoping you can help me narrow my search.

Here’s one from a place called Ukraine, entitled, “The Thrilling World of Tire Delivery!”

RUSSIA/Okay, all you need to know about tire delivery there is that they don’t use wheels on their delivery carts. You  DRAG them across the concrete, like this guy here.

The irony of schlepping tires without USING tires seems lost on them. This man in the photo has a hernia operation every Tuesday at 9 a.m.

Ouch! That’s not for me! Okay, here’s a brochure, from Russia. It’s about a career in taking burning flares away from protesters, and it’s called “Hold On to that Flare, Jer!”

They say there’s a retired professional flare-grabber visiting my area now, and they want me to meet with him. Any advice?

Yes. Avoid giving him a firm handshake.

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Top: Vitali Mikheev of Ukraine attempts to lift a 662-pound tray with tires during the “Minsk Open Cup” weightlifting competition in Minsk, September 11, 2010. REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko

Right: Policemen attempt to take away a smoke flare from an opposition activist during a protest rally in Moscow, September 12, 2010. REUTERS/Alexander Natruskin

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That first guy’s expression…. I would like to hear what Eugene Toilethead Johnson would make of that.

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Eugene would make a number two.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I could swear that’s a hernia on top of his head. What else could it be exploding from the top of his head like that?

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

[…] reading here: The glamorous world of foreign hernias | Analysis & Opinion | […]

Posted by The glamorous world of foreign hernias | Analysis & Opinion | | | Report as abusive

Y no shoes?

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

I could find you an interesting foreign job with a guaranteed future in this neck of the woods,literally : hunting missing mushroom hunters (try saying that quickly after half a flagon of supermarket Chianti). There have been a number of cases with messy endings even since your post a couple of weeks ago.

P.S. Thanks for the welcomes and for picking up my spelling. I fear I’ll be keeping you on your toes in that department, as well as spotting my archaisms. I’ve been away from the English speaking world for nigh on 36 years.

Posted by ExpatP | Report as abusive

Not only do they deliver tires without tires, they must deliver them in their stocking feet!

Posted by nhdave | Report as abusive

Jurgi – ‘Boris help me, I can’t find the off switch on this thing!’
Boris – ‘Jurgi you fool! I told already that it wasn’t a light sabre.’

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Unca – they’re called HERnias because you usually get one moving something heavy for Her.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

I’m getting the impression that BG writes posts with some unintentionally hidden personal message in them. For example, this post includes a poop face, green gas, and iron bars. Does anyone else think BG is subconsciously crying for help here? Just flush the iron supplement!!! NO BG, DON’T SWALLOW IT!!

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

Nosmo, ha ha ha “HERnia” 😀

sarabelle, hey now every blog can become a game of Figure Out How Mr. B. Is Subconsciously Seeking Help/Attention!

Medidonuts! Git Yer medidonuts he-yah!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Well, ifly, I’ve just started a new psych class (not code for “been committed”…), so the new game sounds great! I can only imagine the conclusions we can draw regarding Mr. B’s personality!

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

So, sarabelle, you are saying, Mr.B needs help from Mr.Toilethead’s department…. and that he is struggling with guilt symptoms, after taking away a baby’s toy?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive