Would sober guys wear these hats?

September 18, 2010


Hello Boss, sorry to bother you at home. It’s me, Gretchen. You hired me as a bartender, remember?

Of course! Danke schön for calling, Gretchen. How are things going at the beer hall?

Not well, Boss. It’s mid-September, and people are already showing up for Oktoberfest!

GERMANY/Anyway, some customers want beer, but I’m not sure I should serve them. They are wearing totally silly hats, the kind you would put on only if you were already very drunk.

Hmmmmm. Anything else?

Ja, they are carrying guns.

I see, Gretchen. Perhaps they’ve already begun drinking, even though it’s still just Septemberfest! You must give them the sobriety test!

Listen carefully. Show them two of something, and then say, “How many do you see?”

If they get the number right, go ahead and serve them.

Boss, it’s me again. It was two and they got it exactly right, so I’m serving them now. Hey! Are you boys going to drink up, or are you just going to reload those guns?

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oktoberfest crop 490

The opening of the Oktoberfest in Berlin, September 15, 2010. REUTERS photos by Fabrizio Bensch

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Nice mugs!!!! All 4 of them.

Why ARE they carrying those rifles? Does the best shot get all the mugs?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Admirable cultural and ethnic verisimilitude in this piece, what with the “Ja” und “Dankeschoen”. Dangerously close to educational though, Mr. B….

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Trust me, Lala, if Wayne Newton uses a phrase, it’s not educational. On the other hand, using the word verisimilitude….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I think we need a holiday that involves beer :)

Posted by shteeni | Report as abusive

shteeni, depending on where you are from that holiday would be called “Saturday”.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

More mugshots please ;-)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

This must be the German version of the Shriners…do they drive around in itty bitty cars during parades? I can imagine it now…12 mini-car pileups because all the drivers had been drinking gallons of beer…

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

I kind of like the basic black hats in the top photo. Would look cute with a flower pinned on it. Well, if I were wearing it that is. Then again, I waa just treated to about 3 glasses of wine…

I do like the heart on her choker, which went unseen by most of the guys:)

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

The guy on the left in the top photo is looking very somber, or sober. Best keep his gun unloaded until he lightens up a bit.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I think they hide more beers under the hat. Very resourceful, those Germans.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

That reminds me…..A couple of weeks ago Mr. B. gave us excellent coverage of the Italian mushroom hunters. Well, the mushrooms having been picked and most of the mushroom hunters having come to sticky ends, today is the start of the REAL hunting season in Italy. With guns and things. I can hear them cracking away outside my window now.
Officially they are shooting either wild pigs or tiny songbirds (a real delicacy, so I’m told). But the rule of thumb is anything that moves, not excluding each other. They’ll have had a couple of drams of 99° grappa for breakfast to improve their aim.
So if any of you good bloggers are coming to Bella Italia between now and February don’t even think of taking an early morning walk or jog in the countryside.

Yikes! Just thought. Your Ms. Shra wouldn’t zap me for imparting the dreaded “useful information” would she? Not in my first week on the blog? She wouldn’t, would she?…..she would!!? Nah, anyway it’s early Sunday morning, she’ll be having a well-deserved lie in. Won’t even notice……

Posted by ExpatP | Report as abusive

Not to worry, ExpatP. I happen to know that Shra is in Sweden this weekend pulling off some scam, so we’re all safe.

I’m thinking about explaining the Pythagorean theorem here today.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@ExpatP: Some years ago I received a bottle grappa as a gift – the bottle had a tiny deer figure inside it. I tried it. It took months to find someone that actually liked the stuff! They got to take it home. The thought of having that for breakfast makea my head spin!

I hope the songbirds remain quiet and hard to spot:)

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

But grappa is the Official Drink of this blog!
Oh wait. Maybe it’s Mountain Dew.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Heh, I had some good ‘shine while I was home this time, but usually, it tastes about like grappa. That is some HARSH stuff.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

I think they carry those rifles – for protection. For when people say those hats look goofy?

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

Let’s see, the weekend checklist:
1. Beer – check
2. Firearms – check
3. Boobies – check
4. Silly hats and moustaches – err check?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Nah Expat.. wont zap ya just yet… thats life saving stuff so you are excused…
So, you stay in Italy eh… hmmm.. which part again? :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Wait wait wait…given the length of Expat’s post could it be Unca or Doc in disguise?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I had the same thought, ifly, but I checked and it’s not them. He’s used up his one super-size comment for the year.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

a^2 +b^2 = c^2? I gotta hear the Oddly Enough version. I always called it the Pithag-a-re-an Pa-theer-um, myself.

==bob D.

Posted by REDruin | Report as abusive

@ Shra: if I were to tell you that, it would be classified as useful information (non-lifesaving category) and you’d be obliged to zap me. But I know what you’re thinking: ExpatP = Italy = classy shoes. You’re fishing to see if I live near a shoe factory aren’t you.
Sorry, got to dash….having an apero this evening with my old mates Joe Ferragamo and Bill Prada….

Posted by ExpatP | Report as abusive

The top Germans have greenery in their hats and guns while the bottom guys have feathers in their hats and beer. So, this leads me to believe that they create nests to lure in the birds & then they shoot them & pluck the feathers to place in their hats & drink beer to celebrate the conquest? But I digress.

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

If I’m not mistaken, Mama, the bottom guys only have feathers in their hats, not in their beer….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Mmm, grappa…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Grappa…is that a wine?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Expattttttttttttttttttttttttt!!! Come back here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Spin, my question was to seek confirmation, not education. A simple “yes” or “no” would be confirming what I already may or may not know. If I had asked “What is grappa?” then yes, that would be an inquiry in which the answer would require an education of some form. That is not the case here.

In conclusion your Honor and members of the jury, if the glove don’t fit, you must aquit!

Or err… if the level of knowledge don’t raise, you shall not tase!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

To stay short will limit comments to 10 words. I

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive